The Essence of Love

Love is something many people have trouble with. They say it is because there isn't enough trust in the relationship. There is no communication. Their partner isn't opening up. These are all valid problems that are very real. They can all be traced back to what is the essence of love.

Surrender...

When you love someone, you need to surrender for the love to work. You must surrender emotional and mental vulnerability. All problems stem from this. This is also why people say that love can be a very painful thing. You have to give time and energy that would be used in other ways for your love. You must surrender your defenses and leave your heart open. Your partner must surrender in the same way and the same things. If only one of you surrenders, then only pain will follow.

Surrendering yourself to someone else completely is irrational. Love is an irrational thing. People have relationship problems because they either don't surrender the same amount of themselves as their partner. You surrender too little and you'll hurt your love. Surrender too much and you'll get hurt by love. This is where a lot of love injuries come from. Where trust issues develop in relationships.

Now you know the essence of love. Now you just need to surrender in tandem with your partner for your love to flourish instead of getting a broken heart. A good way of thinking about it is an equal exchange. When your partner surrenders something, you surrender the same thing. You get told a secret, you tell a secret. They show you tears, you let them see yours. They reveal any sadness, you reveal your sadness. Their happiness, your happiness. Their heart, your heart. Their soul, your soul. Their clothes, your clothes. Then you get steamy in bed.

But one of the most essential things to surrender is time. You need to give your love time. however much it needs. Many a person have left or betrayed a relationship because they weren't given enough time. They aren't listened too, you aren't listened too. The feeling of being ignored, even if it's a good reason doesn't feel good. They or you will find someone else that will listen and give time. This happens because they are made vulnerable by the love. This makes it easy for them to be tempted, targeted, and broken. Homewreckers, cheaters and literal mother fuckers go after this. Love needs time, and if time is not provided. It will be vulnerable to outside forces. This does not excuse the actions of the targeted. But it must be understood that love makes a person weaker when they are alone. Love is only strong when lovers are in sync and have equally surrendered; surrendered the necessary time. When either lover is alone and out of sync they are unbelievably weak.

Now, for those of you that have been hurt by love and have trouble with it. You are not so broken or shattered as you think. You are simply afraid that the romance will end painfully. You shouldn't be afraid, just wiser. the pain only stays for as long as you dwell on it. Yes, you will have to surrender again. Make yourself vulnerable again. Now, you have a deeper understanding of what went wrong I hope. If you were hurt, you surrendered too much and your partner didn't match you. Going forward you must keep in mind surrendering by equal exchange. If you hurt someone by surrendering too little. Now you know that you can't be afraid or hesitant when surrendering. If your partner surrenders something, you must match them.

I truly hope I have helped, even if I've only helped one. In life, people are happiest when in a strong mutual love. Material just doesn't do it for the heart or soul. I hope everyone that reads this, can find a good love.

Much luck from the Bean Ragu