The Envelope

She sighed heavily and leaned her head back in the seat as the train rocketed forward on the track. She had a window seat, and if there had been anyone to wave to she was sure she’d have been looking out the window – smiling and waving like a fool.

But of course, there wasn’t anyone to wave to.

**“I don’t understand why you need to do this, Jess,” Derek muttered obstinately as he ran a manicured hand through his hair.

She grabbed for the hand as it released his hair to flop forward across his beautiful face and went to drop down to his side, grasping it between her own, making him look at her.

“I love you,” she started, “but I need to do this. I need to be on my own. I need this. This isn’t about you. This about me… finding myself… figuring things out… so I can come back here and be the wife you deserve.”**

She closed her eyes. **This is incredibly stupid, Jess**, she thought angrily. He’d let her go, in the end, after hours of talking that seemed to stretch into days – he’d let her go. And now here she was, on a train that would take her three hours to a coastal town in Connecticut called Promise.

A place where all your dreams come true – that’s what the brochure had said. A place to find yourself.

Her name was Jessica Von Blatt and all she’d ever been was what someone else needed her to be – Rich and Kate True’s daughter; Derek Von Blatt’s wife. She had been born and bred to be whatever someone else told her to be. And somehow along the way she’d forgotten that at the end of the day she needed to be herself – she needed to be Jessica.

She had been born to Rich and Kate True in 1984 when her parents had lived in the lower slums of Brooklyn. When she’d been a toddler however, they’d moved to the upper east side of Manhattan and they’d never left. Rich and Kate developed personas that went with their new, ritzier lives and they’d trained their daughter to go for the same glitz and glam that they wanted her to have.

She was an only child so she’d been admittedly spoiled; never wanting for anything, never being told ‘no’.

She’d met Derek as a college freshman at eighteen – at orientation no less – at a small private college in New York. And they’d fallen fast into love. Within a year, she’d dropped out of school and they were engaged. Within two years, they were married.

Derek Von Blatt came from money as well, so there’d never been a need for her to work. So she drifted her way from the True daughter living at home with her parents to the Von Blatt wife preparing house and home for her husband. Not that there was much to prepare – they had servants for such things.

And she’d been fine with that – her life had been everything she’d ever wanted. For six years she’d felt delighted by all she’d accomplished – or by all that she’d coasted into. On the morning of her 28th birthday, she’d woken feeling restless. She’d stood around a cocktail party in her honor put on by Derek and her best friend Sarah, and she’d glanced around at all the people there to celebrate her life.

She didn’t know half of them. She was lucky if she could even remember the names of those she did know.

She felt disjointed, disconnected; and when Derek had come up to her, his arms snaking around her waist as he pulled her in close for a kiss on the cheek – she’d realized that she, Jessica True Von Blatt, was sad.

Her sadness didn’t falter after her party… it grew in the months that followed, snaking its way inside her heart and eating her up while she tried to keep her discontent to herself.

When she finally told him, Derek didn’t understand. He told her that she wasn’t sad, wasn’t depressed, that she should perk up – go shopping.

**“A nice pair of new heels… that’ll perk you right up, babe.”**

In the spring, Sarah had announced she was pregnant – her and her husband Gregory’s first child. And somehow that made Jessica feel worse.

Derek and she weren’t even trying to have a baby yet… she couldn’t feel regretful about something she hadn’t even considered, and yet somehow she was. Derek told her they should have a baby – they could have a baby.

And that’s when she’d seen the brochure of Promise, Connecticut – promising life, and fun, and laughter.

**“You don’t understand, Derek,” she said imploringly. “I went from my parent’s home to your flat. I’ve never been on my own. I’ve never done my own thing. I want to be on my own, just for a little while, just to experience it.”**

He’d promised her three months – the summer in Promise. She’d return to New York right after Labor Day, only three days before her upcoming 29th birthday.

Sarah hadn’t been happy.

**“I’ll be nearly six months pregnant then! Big as a house and who’s going to help me find the latest fashions!,” Sarah screeched.

“I’m sorry,” Jessica said contritely, “but I need to do this. You can come visit me?” Her voice had been hopeful.

Sarah smiled somewhat forlornly, “sure, sure, Jess, I’ll come visit you.”**

“Can you squieeesh over a lil’ bit?,” a voice cut through Jess’s daydreams and she opened her eyes to see a large woman in a flowery dress in the aisle peering at her through horn-rimmed glasses.

“Oh, umm, yea,” Jess said with a grimace as she slid over another inch so that she was wedged up against the side of the train car.

The woman maneuvered her way into the seat beside Jess, her features spilling over as she settled down, her hands fidgeting at her chest to keep her ample bosoms from spilling out of the blouse of her dress.

When the woman was seated, she turned slightly in her seat and offered her hand to Jess – which Jess accepted somewhat reluctantly, cringing as the woman squeezed her hand like it was a stressball.

“Lorna J. Judd, and who might you be, sweetie?”

“Jessica Von Blatt,” Jess said a bit airily as she forced a smile on her face.

“Oooh, fancy,” the woman said. “Where are you headed?”

“Connecticut.”

“I’ve got a cousin lives in Conn-et-icut. I’m headed down to Philly myself, gonna stay with my sister a while.”

“That’s… nice,” Jess said politely before turning away and glancing out the window at the scenery rushing by.

She kept vigil looking out the window for a while until the woman started to snore beside her. Jess sighed, glancing over at where the woman was slumped over in her seat, mouth gaped open.

**Seriously?**, Jess thought, **This is who I get for the whole ride?**

She tried to tell herself to stop being so judgmental but the judgment of other people had been so regimented in her life that she couldn’t stop the flare of annoyance as the woman snorted loudly in her sleep beside her.

At some point during the ride Jess drifted off to sleep. She was startled awake by the sound of the train as it screeched to a stop. She blinked rapidly, willing the sleep from her eyes as people started to pour out of their seats into the aisle to her left. She glanced over to see the seat beside her was empty.

**Thank God**, she thought.

“Excuse me,” she called out as a man in a suit stopped beside her seat, waiting in the line of people trying to get off the train. “But what stop is this?”

He gave her an annoyed look before saying, “the last stop, ma’am,” at her blank look he frowned and simultaneously rolled his eyes, “Promise.” The line moved then and she watched as he moved a few feet away.

**He didn’t have to be rude about it…** She sighed. **Well, at least I’m here.**

She glanced down at her lap to see the small black notebook that she always kept with her. She opened it, her eyes falling on the Promise, Connecticut brochure that she’d tucked inside. Her “promise” of hope and fun in Promise. A tiny corner of white jutted out from behind it and she lifted the brochure to see an envelope underneath. She’d never seen it before; she was certain it hadn’t been in her notebook at the start of the train ride. Scrawled in handwriting she didn’t recognize were the words, “we'll be in touch”.

She furrowed her brow. She touched the envelope hesitantly, her fingers just at the tucked flap…

“Ma’am,” came a sharp tone to her side and she glanced up to see one of the train workers standing at her seat. “It’s time to get off.”

She looked up, smiled thinly, nodded. “Of course, I’m just gathering my things.” She closed the notebook, clutched it firmly against her and rose from her seat. Her mind was racing. The appearance of the envelope confused her. What was inside? Who had put it there? She felt lightheaded. Her stomach felt odd, queasy.

The moment she left the train, the platform sturdily underfoot and the sun beaming hot on her face, she pulled the envelope free of her notebook. She frowned, ripped open the flap and peered inside. A weighty collection of hundred-dollar bills stared back at her. Her eyes widened as her fingers flipped through. She felt her face flush as she counted the bills in her head.

**…17… 18… 19…**

Twenty. Twenty-thousand dollars.

**What in the world…?!**