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The Enigmatic Egg

A Celebration of the Profile Picture-less

By Richard WeberPublished about a month ago 3 min read
The Enigmatic Egg
Photo by Arya Dubey on Unsplash

Yes, the photo on the profile. An exquisitely chosen window into your soul (or that brunch you're so proud of). However, what about the rebels, the outlaws, and the magnificent mystery known as the person with no profile photo? These are the people donning the internet world's default silhouette, the pixelated mystery box.

I think there's a certain mystique about them. Are they circumventing facial recognition software as international spies? Participants in witness protection programs who have a grudge on social media? Maybe they're just vampires who strictly enforce the "no flash photography" rule (which would make Nosferatu furious). There are countless options, and to be honest, they are far more thrilling than Aunt Mildred's collection of vacation photos.

It's true that profile photos can be a hassle. A weaker soul could Photoshop a six-pack onto their grandmother's pet due to the need to always update them with the newest #aesthetic. But our heroes without a profile photo? They are above such things as trifles. They take pleasure in the wonderful anonymity of the internet, where clever remarks serve as their weapons and user names as their battle paint.

Here's a look at the potential motivations behind this mysterious movement:

The Puritans of Privacy: They place about as much significance on their internet presence as they do on dental cavities. They laugh at the thought of having their picture all over the internet, serving as a beacon for eerie classmates and faraway relatives. They only exist in the digital shadows; they are the internet's ninjas.

The Squad for Sensitive to Selfies: Selfies, let's face it, can be tedious. Aiming for that elusive "candid" position that says, "I totally woke up like this" (spoiler alert: you didn't). Finding the ideal lighting and angle. The people without profile pictures choose to live a life devoid of phone cases and duckfaces in order to avoid this everyday conflict.

The Masters of Reinvention: With the ability to be anyone you want to be online, who needs a static profile picture? A clever bookworm today, a champion cat-kayaker tomorrow (it's real, I promise). For them, the internet serves as a playground, and profile images merely act as boundaries.

The Minimalists: They recognize the clutter in the profile photo for what it really is. An unneeded diversion from their insightful bio or genius username, "i_eat_staplers" "A croissant was once mistaken for a bagel. Never forget. They let their actions and dubious life decisions speak for themselves.

But wait a minute—profile photos aren't they essential to online dating? Well, not always, at least not for our mysterious heroes. They welcome the excitement of going on a blind date, the opportunity to get to know someone based on their humor and character rather than their well-chosen vacation pictures (looking at you, Kevin, with your suspiciously photoshopped muscles).

Of course, there might also be humor in the absence of a profile photo. "You say climate change isn't real? Imagine the confusion during a heated online debate." Now, Mr. Pixelated Mysterious Man, are you even aware that a sunset exists?" Or the uncomfortable moment during a group video conversation when someone asks, "Steve, are you really committed to the whole silhouette thing, or is your camera off?"

The truth is that while profile images are fantastic, not everyone will enjoy them. The people without profile pictures serve as a reminder that the internet may be a place of enjoyment, privacy, and mystery in moderation. Don't pass judgment the next time you see a silhouette on social media. They might be your neighbor who despises selfies, a world champion thumb-twister, or even a brain surgeon (no offense, Mrs. Johnson).

In the grand scheme of the internet, a profile picture is just a detail. But the lack thereof? Now that's a conversation starter.


About the Creator

Richard Weber

So many strange things pop into my head. This is where I share a lot of this information. Call it a curse or a blessing. I call it an escape from reality. Come and take a peek into my brain.

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