The End

Dear You,

I met someone, he said being with him would be like a fairy-tale. Seemed skeptical, so I waited to really talk to him. I pondered the moment we would meet in person. He seemed harmless, but didn't all the others seem harmless. Must be my insecurities talking. Is that a sign I should wait? I feel ready, that must mean I am ready? Right?

Love,

Me

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Dear You,

Don't jump too fast at the response, would not like for you to break the internet.

We met btw. I figured you were lagging with timing cause you saw nothing wrong with me talking to him. Timing is everything at least that is what he said. I think that is what that one said, the one who tore you to pieces. Not the ex-husband. No the one after. If you forgot I will remind you, but you wont need much help. The one, you know, the who lied about the things, well tbh, lied about it ALL. Oh well, that matters not. This one was different, he was so kind and polite. During these scary times and all, he even came prepared with a fancy face mask. Am I rambling.

He walked me to my car, and opened the door. You know how many men before him did that. NOT many he has a gold star. I mean, his hug... those muscles... that chest... I mean I have not hugged a man with that many muscles in...? Talk about melting. I don't think he caught my thirsty girl comment, thank goodness too I was trying to be lady-like. We are going to have a lunch thing in a week. I told him friends would be good. After all we are still healing. you would be proud of me... I stood my ground and said I want to get to know him slowly.

Love,

Me

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Dear You,

I feel like you are ignoring me.

Well none the less he asked me out. I said yes. It was on our lunch thing. But hear me out we talked everyday. So it is like we are getting to know each other while dating... He kissed me also. He asked first. Maybe I should have said no, but, well, it was so sweet. And he got me flowers, a gift, and a card. I mean that is worthy of a kiss. He bought me lunch and we talked. That is something he opened EVERY door.

Don't be jaded and say that any man can open a door. I mean yeah they can, but DO they? Not really. So for me it is a win. I did say I wanted to be friends. I guess five kinda days is a good amount? Right? Yeah, yeah, totally normal... Is it too fast... naw you would tell me. I would know, right like some how inside me I would know, this cant be too fast. No way, I did hesitate, but it is cause I am a nervous wreck cause, well you know.

It is too soon. NO, NO, Naw. I am fine it is fine. He opened doors and bought me things gave me flowers and bought me a book. Did I mention he bought me a book. We can read it together. That all means something.

Love,

Me

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Dear You,

We went on a couple dates. well to be exact we have been together for almost a month and we are planning to get married. He wants to get married in two years. He said it was like a fairy-tale and now I believe him. He did get a little weird a couple times while I was at work about not messaging him. He kinda made me feel bad for not being more responsive. We talked through it and he understood. His mood was a little wonky for the day because of that and some other things but over all it is good, we are good.

I slept with him. I KNOW, I KNOW. Bad move, but hey we are getting married, might I say though, it was good. Like really, really good. I feel good about it i feel good about this. He is spending the night tonight. I am so excited. We will have so much fun and tomorrow I will see his face in the morning! Catch me as I faint...

Love,

Me

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Dear You,

He moved in like a month ago. Right after we slept together, he moved in. I was super nervous and I kinda thought it was too soon. I told him and well it went all to, well... you know. He got defensive and said it was my idea and said that he felt super hurt and made me feel so bad. I could hear the pain and so I said for him to move in. It has been great. I mean great... I don't shower by myself any more. He makes me food in the mornings and brings it to me in bed.

I don't think he knew that I did not eat breakfast, he makes me lunch. He cleans the house. He moved my girlie things, I mean it is his place to that makes sense. I am enjoying the time.

There was this moment. He had this moment with my extra phone. it worried me. He was super agitated, it got heated. It was weird. He said he was sorry but he almost left. I told him I had important things on it. He understood and yet he seemed unconvinced.

I just watch what I do with my phone. I had snap chat, but well he does not like that so I deleted it, I don't often get on social media anymore, but I never really did, I guess. It is ok. I just make sure to give him my undivided attention whenever we are together. As a couple you are suppose to give each other that time. It is weird I see a bunch of posts from him. oh well. It is me he is worried about I get that. Trust issues... we both have them. Respect, I respect his need to know I am not going to talk with any other men. This is how I show that... It is normal. Different than the others, but then again... Naw it is normal.

Love,

Me

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Dear You,

It has been two months, yesterday was my birthday. it was magical. I was so happy. It was amazing. A fairy-tale. Of course life is life, and we have had a couple things go south but we talked them through even if it took the whole night. To night he got bossy about a song I get that it made sense to get bossy. He wanted me to hear it. He did. I felt wrong and he made me feel bad for talking to him and telling him a story of what it reminded me of. He made me feel small and unimportant I told him and then well he said sorry. I forgave him and we went on. He later told me about making everything out to be about me. I guess that is what I do. I mean I have been told that. But he did often make it seem like it should be about me. I guess this was different. I see the difference. But yet it does not seem different. I see his point. I am just not going to do that. If I don't do that we wont have problems. I mean I was creating them. Like the extra phone thing I mean it had important stuff and I had not moved everything over, yet, but I get it.

Love,

Me

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Dear You,

He called me ugly. He called me ugly for being concerned about something that is important and crucial. He called me ugly. He said that he was leaving, but only if I told him to. He was in such a hurry for me to end it, and yet when I did not he just said that we will drift. He made me feel small again. But he loves me and when we are happy we are happy, I just need to know that I cant do certain things and then we will be fine. I get that he needs me to be like this, because well in some ways, this is how it has to be. I am getting married and we will be happy.

He called ugly, then later he apologized. I accepted and we moved past it. It took a long time and it hurt a lot. I did not want to loose my fairy-tale.

Love,

Me

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Dear You,

Well It has been a couple weeks since we talked. Oh well... I am used to the silent treatment by now.

He was agitated, I told him I did not like something. We got past it then before I knew it he got mad at me for something, I am sure it could have been anything; however, this time it was something that happened before.

The thing that makes this moment hard, what makes this hard, is well, he was SO DRAMATIC. I mean DRAMATIC. I could not handle it. I tried to be call I even asked for him to calm down. Then he got more heated and I just had enough. We went to bed, but the morning came with its own set of issues.

You know I learned from my past mistakes and I told him sorry for my actions and we talked, I could not help his mood and I was fine; however, he was beyond helping.

He milked his emotions for all they were worth. He wallowed in it. He bathed in the depression, after a good while of feeling down He wanted to talk. We talked, we talked for maybe twenty minutes and then it turned to agitated discussion, then I told him he was looking for a fight. When I called him out for his behavior, I was met by his full bad mood. He accused me of always wanting to fight. I came back with a give me a moment I am getting heated and I DO NOT want to yell.

He did what every person who WANTS to fight does, he told me to calm down. when I came back with a let me sit in silence. The words were too much. He wanted a volley back and forth that would give him the drama he craved. I got up from my bed walked downstairs and told him to leave.

We were supposed to get married, but he cussed me out. It was a lie, the fairy-tale he told me about never existed.

I made him leave. It hurt. He was mean. He said a lot of nasty things. It hurt more than the one who lied about EVERYTHING. It hurt like my ex-husband. It cut deep. I am going through the motions. I am hurting, I am tired of hurting.

Love,

Me

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Dear Me,

I know, I did not stop hurting. I was healing. I thought you knew. I mean those questioning moments, the ones where you second guessed, the ones you did not listen to, that was me.

You are supposed to protect me. I was still mending the pieces back together. After all I had a divorce and a whatever-you-would-call-that-guy to fix.

The pieces were small, still are small. As I would mend some you would give them away.

We have never really healed. You were faking, and I was working. You were looking for something new and NOW. While was mending us for the future.

Why could you not see that, why could you not wait.

Wait now.

Wait... NOW.

Love,

You

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Dear You,

I said I would keep you safe. I know, He said he would not hurt me. He told everyone that.

I believed it.

He said it was a fairy-tale.

He said it was a...

fairy-tale.

Love,

Me

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Dear Me,

They all said it was a fairy-tale. They all lied. I told you, they lied. I told you not to give me to them. You have to be careful with me. I love too deep and care too much to be given freely.

Love,

Your Broken Heart

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Dear You,

When will we be healed?

Love,

Me

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Dear Me,

In time. In Time.

Love,

You