The Dream

The dream had been ongoing for nearly six months, reoccurring at least once a week, but sometimes more. Despite the repetition of it, Tessa didn’t know what the dream meant, but she knew that her subconscious was obviously attempting to make her aware of something. Each time, she awoke in a profuse sweat and immediately tried to jot down specifics about it, but the dream was nearly always identical in nature and no real conclusions were drawn.

Each time, the dream began in the same way: she was drifting upon the open seas in a small rowboat. The real problem therein, however, was that she only had one oar with which to propel the small boat forward. The sun was brutal as it beamed overhead, threatening to suck every inch of energy out of her, but still, she struggled relentlessly with the single oar as she slowly moved across the calm waters in search of land or anyone who could offer assistance. And as the small boat moved forward, she would always glimpse a large ship in the distance of the far horizon. Joy flooded her whenever she saw the ship and immediately a second oar appeared in her empty hand so that she had two with which to work and make her way ever faster toward the ship that offered salvation from the encompassing sea. As she inched forward, the sun glared so brilliantly off the large ship that she became blinded and unable to see who or what lay in front of her, but the feeling that flooded her entire being was intense and unadulterated joy before she awoke. She desperately longed to see exactly who or what the large ship really was and hoped the blinding light would eventually clear in order to divulge more information to her.

Of late, Tessa had been debating resigning her job at a graphics firm, picking up, and moving to Italy, where she felt she could better pursue a job related to her degree in Art and Art History Studies. But it was a serious move, and she was hesitant to finalize it despite the fact she was young and the time was ripe for such things. Was the dream attempting to propel her forward to make this decision and change her life so drastically?

It was a Thursday morning as Tessa dressed for work, and her mind constantly reviewed the dream’s scenario once again. What did it all mean? Why was she dreaming the same thing time after time? Was the ship symbolic of a new job, a potential new person or lover in her life, or even something new she was supposed to be doing? She was unsure, and as of yet, had reached no conclusions that had any bearing on the fruition of the reality behind the recurring dream. It was a bit frustrating to say the least.

As she grabbed her purse and headed to the nearby coffee shop on the way to work, she took note of the beautiful spring day. It was already fairly warm, and the sun was steadily climbing in the sky. The azaleas and dogwoods were in full bloom and presented a lovely picture while she walked the narrow sidewalks. As she neared the coffee shop and entered, she abruptly bumped into someone and excused herself.

“No worries,” the young man said, despite the fact she had jostled him so hard as he was coming out of the shop that his coffee had spilled onto the sidewalk.

“I’m so sorry!” she said apologetically, very thankful that the coffee spill had not been worse.

The man smiled and assured her that it was not a problem before he took off down the street.

As Tessa waited for her cup of coffee, her mind drifted. Was that a missed opportunity? He had been quite attractive and pleasant. Was she destined to meet him amidst the sun’s shining rays and the blooming azaleas this morning? Should she have made more of an attempt to strike up a conversation with him? Had she missed an opportunity at love?

Much later in the day, her boss called her in for a meeting. It appeared he had a new graphics project on which he wanted Tessa to work, and if she handled the account well, it might possibly insure her a promotion. Was this the opportunity she saw on the crest of the horizon with the looming ship in sight? It was a wonderful professional advancement and might propel her more specifically toward her field of study, but she simply did not know if this was what the dream was referencing in its symbolism.

Her date later that evening with a neighbor named Jimmy turned out to be a boring and uneventful one at a local Italian restaurant. While the food was good, the date itself was nothing about which to write home. Was she missing something? Was it supposed to be more? Was she not opening up herself to her full potential and all the possibilities in the realm of life and love? Was she supposed to see in Jimmy what the ship represented in her dream? Was he the one? It did not feel as if this were the case, so, following her instincts instead, she abruptly ended the evening after dinner by claiming she had an early morning at work the next day for which she needed to prepare. It wasn’t really a fib since she was actually working on the new graphics project.

As Tessa lounged in a hot bath full of aromatic lavender and chamomile following her date, she pondered the meaning of her repeated dream and the ship that was ever present on the horizon. She was finding that she was questioning everything and everyone she could in an attempt to make sense of it all. It was more than frustrating. What was she supposed to know? What hidden person, place, or thing was the dream trying to relay to her? Would the dream ever reveal its truth so she would know the true meaning behind it?

*********

Two weeks quickly passed with nothing much different in the scheme of things in love or life for Tessa. The dream was ever present on a weekly basis as she slept, but she had no further clues as to what it all meant. She did not run into the attractive man again at the coffee shop nor did she accidentally bump into or meet anyone else that might be her truest love or the ultimate destination represented in the dream. She completed the graphics project that was assigned to her, receiving a commendation and recommendation for higher pay with more challenging responsibilities in the future. Still, each night she returned home wondering about the true representation behind her repeated dream.

But tonight, something was different, although Tessa was unsure as to what exactly it was as she peered upward. She was sitting on the rooftop of the apartment building, and it was nearly eleven o’clock. The stars twinkled in the sky and the moon was very bright. The chirping of crickets broke the silence along with the hum of autos as they occasionally made their way down the residential streets. It was a beautiful night, and the glass of Merlot she was sipping was helping to relax her immensely. The last two weeks had been busy, propelling her toward the completion of her newly assigned project at work, but she was not as satisfied as one might expect with those accomplishments.

As she relaxed in her seat and looked at the sky overhead, Tessa pondered the meaning of the repeated dream yet again. Looking at the sky, she mentally compared the stars to the seas and the moon to the ship on the horizon. The universe was endless with possibilities. It was an interesting comparison to her dream and certainly food for thought.

Finishing the wine, Tessa headed back to her apartment and prepared for bed. Would she dream her dream again tonight? It was only a short while later that she drifted to sleep with thoughts of smooth sailing seas, twinkling stars, and large ships on far horizons.

Much later, well into the night’s slumber, Tessa awoke suddenly, fully alert. She’d had the dream again, but this time, as she’d struggled to move the little row boat toward the larger ship in the midst of a blinding sun, the sky had miraculously cleared. And as it had done so, instead of the ship she saw looming in front of her, she’d found herself looking full force into the sun which reflected a mirrored image of herself as she fiercely and steadfastly rowed the little boat toward her destination.

Tessa turned on the light and sat up in bed, a dawning new awareness filling her as she sat, amazed at the new images in the recurring dream. Perhaps the ship was symbolic of her own innate confidence and ability to achieve things beyond the imaginable – or as the dream represented it, beyond the far horizon. Maybe she had been the ship this entire time: strong, enduring, and full of endless possibilities. All this while, she had been looking for someone or something to manifest itself so that it represented something in her dream when it all actually resided within herself - she just needed needed to look deeper in herself to accomplish things and even those things that she had no idea she could accomplish. She had placed too many limitations upon herself. She was young and vibrant and full of life. She needed to seize the horizon and pursue life to its fullest and not enforce so many restrictions upon herself. Perhaps she should resign after all and make that move to Italy to pursue her ultimate dream. If she did not do so, she knew she would regret it one day.

Tessa got out of bed and went to the kitchen where she poured herself a glass of water before she returned to the bedroom. As she sat the glass on the bedside table, her glance caught her reflection in the long mirror on the wall. She paused. Yes, she was the ship, the sun on the horizon was symbolic of endless of possibilities that loomed ahead for her, and the missing oar which suddenly appeared in her dream was representative of the many ways in which she had underestimated her abilities; they were hidden within but would surface when she needed them most.

As Tessa returned to the comfort of her bed, she realized that she didn’t need any one person or any particular turn of events to insure she lived life to its fullest capacity. She, and she alone, was responsible for making her own dreams a reality. She must rely upon herself and stop undercutting her potential. And if someone came along that could possibly add to those dreams, all the better, but for now, it was not necessary. Tessa smiled as she realized that the true definition of happiness and success lay within her own hands, like clay waiting to be sculpted – or like two oars waiting to be used. And she knew within her heart that the possibilities that loomed on the horizon for her were limitless. She was the creator of her destiny and tomorrow was a new day with which to begin anew.

Tessa turned off the light and returned to the comfort of her pillow. Tomorrow would offer a new beginning of sorts, and she could hardly wait. Today, new self-awareness and confidence, and tomorrow, who knew, perhaps Italy. Indeed, life had never had more meaning, potential, and excitement. Tessa could barely wait for the dawn.