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The Day I Lost a Best Friend

And Why I Wish Her Happiness in Life

By Nicole CoxPublished 6 years ago 4 min read
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The Restaurant

It was October 28, 2016. I was out to dinner with my boyfriend. It was a really wonderful evening, and I wanted to pay the bill, seeing that I had more than enough to do so and he pays more often than I.

When the waitress came back with my card, only $5.33 went through. This made no sense, I had roughly 100x that amount in my account. I check my account, and it confirms I had nothing in my account anymore. I panic, I call my dad asking him to look through everything on my account and we headed home.

I thought it was a restaurant employee.

I knew someone had stolen my information. The first person I had thought of was one of my best friends, and I hated that. I was so mad at myself for thinking of her. She was my best friend. What kind of person assumes their best friend would do that to them? So, I ignored it.

I went home and we concluded my information was stolen. A few nights prior, my card was accidentally left behind at an Applebee's restaurant. So, naturally, we thought an employee took my information. I was livid. I was venting to my close friends and I decide to fill in my best friend.

"It was me."

I don't even remember the rest of her confession or apology. I was shocked. I thought I was terrible for thinking it could be her. I started crying and asking why she would do this to me.

Not after long I was crying so heavily I had to lay down. She called me. I can't talk. I'm choking on air, throwing my back out, and sobbing uncontrollably. My chest was just aching; I was hyperventilating and just an all-around mess.

Luckily, my dad and boyfriend were with me. My dad doesn't have a bad temper, but when he's mad, it rings through the house. He naturally has a loud voice, so you can imagine when he's angry. He was sitting next to me, rubbing my back as I'm wailing, and listening to this phone call. He was so calm and so quiet, it was surreal. He told her what I couldn't have said. She hung up.

The Best Night of My Life

I got a flurry of messages from her asking for forgiveness, but I texted my other friend instead about what happened. This friend, at midnight, who has a family and a job, left her home and brought me food and games.

My whole family and I played Cards Against Humanity for the first time ever that night. I didn't think after hurting so much 30 minutes earlier that I would feel okay enough to laugh. We played for hours. It's one of the best nights I have ever had with my friends and family.

The Aftermath

The next day, I told my now ex-friend how I felt and that I wasn't going to talk anymore. She kept messaging me, and I didn't.

I dreamt of her and our friendship a lot within the next year. I missed her. We used to be inseparable; We even laughed in sync. A few months before a year hit, I had a dream about her and I had a weird out-of-body experience with the words "I forgive you" echoing the room. I felt this weight lifted off of me, and it wasn't so hard anymore to see old posts with her, pass by places that remind me of her, or even remember fond moments of her.

Today

That was the day I really let her go. I let the friendship go, the anger, and the hurt. It's been almost two years since the worst heartbreak I have ever experienced, and I hope she's got an amazing life. I mean that wholeheartedly. I hope that her relationship is thriving, that she held down a good job, has a good apartment, and has less drama in her life. I hope that her life has turned around, and I hope that she has forgiven herself for what she did.

Here's why:

I don't just wish her good will because of my faith as a Christian. I don't just wish her a good life because she never had one when I knew her. I want her to have a good life because everyone deserves a good life and I deserve a free conscience. I deserve to live completely free from hate and bitterness, and if you're at a point in your life where you don't want to give up that bitterness because they don't deserve your grace, you do. You deserve it. You are due for a heart free of hurt, and I hope you realize that someday.

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