The Date From Hell
Worst Date in the History of Worst Dates!
Let's face it we all have had our fair share of bad dates, whether it was with someone that we knew/kind of knew or perhaps the worst dates of all—blind dates. For those of you who have never had the pleasure or lack thereof meeting a complete stranger, you may want to stay clear of the whole online blind dating hype, just a bit of friendly advice.
I can begin by saying that this particular date is forever burned into my memory, here is where the dreadfulness begins (cue the creepy music).
My best friend who I will refer to as E, you know, as in evil decided that since she was madly in love that I should be as well (sweet of her huh?) E's boyfriend also had a best friend who was "just my type" or so I was told. Me being the adventurous, and open person that I am reluctantly agreed to a blind/double date.
I will admit that a very small part of me was excited but, an even bigger part of me was screaming 'why in the hell did you agree to this'? The big day came, I thought about faking sick or making up some other lame excuse but, I sucked it up and got dolled up and braced myself to meet my potential beau.
Eight o'clock came fast and I found myself sitting in the backseat of E's car sick to my stomach heading to a cheesy Chinese restaurant. We arrived, I pulled myself together and headed in to meet the not so man of my dreams with the support of my bestie.
Mind you, I have no idea what this man looks like however, I had a pretty good idea of who he was when he decided to stand up in a restaurant filled with people enjoying their meals to shout "Yo" at the top of his lungs.
E, myself and her boyfriend made our way over and quietly sat down, I was expecting a handshake and introduction instead I received a hard pat on the arm followed by "The name's Andre, what's yours"? I was horrified but, nothing could possibly prepare me for what was to come.
As I said we were eating at a Chinese restaurant, after a ten minute awkward silence, the waiter made his way over to take our orders. We all made our orders, last was the ever so classy Andre who demanded pasta and sauce.. Let's just take a moment of silence for the man who placed an order of pasta at an ALL Chinese restaurant. After five embarrassing moments of this man arguing with our waiter he decided on egg drop soup.
The worst is yet to come so please bear with me, this man ate like a child! Slurping, spilling soup all on himself, at one point I pondered the thought of asking him if he'd like a bib! I have never in my life met a 29-year-old man who had the audacity to burp, fart and shout in a restaurant. the child in the next booth who was about eight years old I am guessing found it to be humorous, me on the other hand wanted to crawl under a rock.
Needless to say, E is still apologizing a year later, Andre never got a second date and last but not least, I will NEVER go on another blind date as long as I live.