The Change

At times in his life, Robert longed for the cherished summer days and the comfort and safety of his youth.

He’d spent the first 18 years of his life in St. John's Newfoundland, a city with less than 100,000 people. For most of those years, he lived in a small rural area on the outskirts, where everybody knew you and your family. It was a perfect place for kids to grow up, especially during summer break. The houses all backed onto the forest, where the kids would play all day; exploring, climbing trees and swimming and fishing in the many small rivers and ponds. It was where kids grew up learning the value of helping others, and being honest. These values, he discovered when he moved to Toronto, were not held by everybody.

Everything changed in Robert’s life at 14 years old, when his parents told him they were getting divorced. His father left and moved to Toronto or the "Mainland" known to Newfoundlanders. He stayed with his mother, along with his brother and sister, on the island that locals lovingly called the "Rock."

They could no longer afford to stay in the only home that Robert and his siblings had ever known, and had to move into a small basement apartment in his mother’s best friend’s house. The house was in the city, surrounded by other houses and apartment blocks and was an immensely different place from the single-family home that he had grown up knowing.

Up until this point, Robert attended an all-boys school close to home and the only girls that he felt comfortable with and spent any real time with, were his sister and mother; but now that they were moving to a different area, Robert and his siblings would have to change schools. The only school close to the apartment was co-ed, which worried him, as he was shy and not good at talking to girls. He always felt tongue-tied and awkward, not knowing what to say to them, and to make things worse, these would be city girls, and he was more or less a country boy.

The only good thing was the move happened at the end of the school year, so he would have the summer to get used to the idea of changing schools.

It wasn't that he didn't like girls; he did; especially his friend's sister, Maryanne. She was a year younger than Robert but somehow seemed older than him. Maryanne had long dark hair and large brown eyes and wore glasses to read, which she wore a lot because she always seemed to be reading. Robert thought she was the smartest and most beautiful girl in the neighbourhood, but some of the other boys and girls would tease her and call her absurd names like "four eyes" and "blind Mary." This bullying always upset him, even his friend Tommy, her brother, would make fun of her.

He could never understand why some people needed to make others feel bad, so they could feel good. He’d confronted Tommy about it, asking him why he picked on his sister when he should be defending her. Tommy said, “It’s no big deal; I’m just fooling with her. She knows I don’t mean it.”

Robert didn’t push him any further but felt the reason people teased Maryanne was that Tommy made it seem ok. He felt upset with Tommy’s explanation and swore he would never be the reason another person thought it was ok to bully someone. He felt so strongly about this it would affect the rest of his life, and be the underlying reason that he grew into the kind and caring man he became.

On the day that his mother told him they would be moving into the city and he would be changing schools, Robert felt his world was falling apart. He argued with her before storming out of the house, distraught, to find Tommy and tell him the bad news.

He struggled with anger as he walked the path to Tommy’s house, not just because of the move, but mostly because this was the indication his father would not be coming back.

Thinking enraged thoughts, blaming his mother for everything that was changing in his life, when he came to where he would have to cross the road to get to Tommy’s house; he stopped for a minute and used his foot to release some of his anger on an unsuspecting tree.

As he came out from the bushes on the side of the road, ignoring the pain in his foot and the tears in his eyes, Robert could hear voices talking and laughing loudly. He looked to his right; to the corner store a few hundred feet away and could see Maryanne standing in the gravel parking lot, with two of the more dim-witted Connelly brothers dancing around her. They were calling her names, and poking her with their fingers as they circled her.

Robert was never a violent person, but with the tension building inside him from his life being upended in a heartbeat, he felt his anger overflow and said, "Enough!"

Without thinking his body abruptly turned, and he ran to the store with fire in his eyes and his hands balling into fists.

As he got close to them, one of the brothers was poking Maryanne hard in the arm and saying "stinky four-eyed Mary, ugly blind Mary." Robert came up behind them and with all of this day's anger rising in him, grabbed them by the hair and dragged them away from her. He pushed them to the ground and said, "If you ever touch her again, I’ll break your arms." They started to get up, but something in Robert's eyes, made them scramble backward away from him. He walked, slowly towards them; with his fists clenched and face turning red, and yelled "get up, get up and tell her you're sorry" They quickly got up from the gravel lot, with a look of pure fear in their eyes and did what he said.

When the Connelly boys finished apologizing to Maryanne, Robert told them "get the hell out of here and if you ever come near her again I’ll beat the shit out of you." They trembled with fear, as Robert walked towards them, before turning and running away like scared dogs with their tails between their legs.

After they disappeared around the corner of the store, Robert turned to Maryanne and asked if she was ok. She answered without speaking, with the tears in her eyes, and he said, "I'm going to see Tommy now, do you want to walk with me?" As she looked down away from his eyes, she said, "Yes, Thank you."

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While they were walking the five-minutes to her house, Maryanne felt confused by what happened, as she’d never seen her brother's friend, Robert, act angry or be violent.

She was teased and bullied most of her life, even by her brother, but Robert never teased her.

Maryanne thought Robert didn’t like her as he hardly ever spoke to her and looked away when she looked his way.

She remembered when, a few weeks before, he was waiting for Tommy in their driveway.

Maryanne was sitting on the front steps reading a book, engrossed in the story, and not noticing that he was there. When she looked up, her eyes locked on Roberts, leaning against their car, staring at her. They looked at each other for a few seconds, then he looked away and bent down to tie his shoes.

She said, "Hello Robert, are you waiting for Tommy" He looked up from tying his shoe, but not at her, “Yes, he knows I'm here," then looked down at his feet again.

"Do you want me to go get him?"

"No,” he said as he looked towards the door.

She started to say something else, but he turned and walked away to the swing set beside the house. These were the only six words she could remember him speaking to her before today.

So why, today, did he come to defend her against the Connelly idiots? He didn't care if she existed and didn’t want to speak to her or acknowledge her at all.

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Robert adrift in his thoughts as they walked to her house didn't hear Maryanne’s attempts at conversation. Lost in his anger about moving and losing his father, he couldn't hear anything but the questions in his mind.

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On the walk to her house, Maryanne made a few attempts to talk to him, but he ignored her and kept walking. When they arrived at her home, she turned to thank him, but he looked beyond her and went up the steps to the door. Being ignored like this hurt her more than the Connelly brothers' brainless antics, and as she ran up the steps past Robert and into the house, tears were streaming down her face.