The Bridgerton Break-in

Picture this:

It's 12 am and you're binge watching Bridgerton in your bedroom. You're almost done with the season so you think "Hey, a couple more hours won't hurt you. Let's finish the show. This shit is good as fuck!" So you continue to watch. Your episode finishes and before you can grab your remote to beat the Next Episode button on Netflix you hear rumbling at your front door.

Now you've been really paranoid lately while living on your own so for the first time in weeks you think nothing of it. But as the next episode begins to play the noise gets louder. You pause the show and get up and head to your front door. And as you go you pick up the spare piece of wood you have in the hallway. When you get to the door the noise stops so you calm down a bit and get ready to back to your room.

But there it is again! You look at the door again and your doorknob is rattling. RATTLING! Now you bought one of those portable door locks so you know they can't actually get in so you bang on the door and ask who it is and you hear nothing back. But they continue to rattle the doorknob and are now trying to push the door in!

It's midnight and you were watching tv in your room, so you're in your nightgown, it's cold outside, and now you're panicking. You grab your keys, your wallet; do you need your wallet? Fuck it, you grab it anyway; you throw on some pants, grab your coat, throw on some shoes and head out your back door. But you peak, cuz you gotta make sure this isn't some type of double team. It's clear so you run, all while peaking around every corner making sure it's safe for you to run to your car.

You call the police and say you think someone is breaking in. You're black so you put on your white girl voice and tell her everything: the door was rattling, you didn't see anyone out of the little whole when you had the courage to look and you give her your address. You've made it safely to your car and you don't even let it warm up before you circle the block to see if you can see any action at your front door. You can't see much, but it looks like someone is crouched at your door.

You're in the car when the police pull up and they offer to walk you to your front door just to make sure everything was ok. You all walk up to your front door and low and behold there is a man knocked out in front of your door. The officers ask if you know him and you say no. As you struggle to get your front door open they wake him up and ask him a couple of questions and you know what he says? "I'm not going to lie to you right now I'm high. I have bad lungs so I take meth so I'm high right now and I just needed a place to lay down so I came here and tried to come in. I'm just high. I'm tired. I'm lost. I'm sorry."

You eventually get into your apartment and the officers don't leave until you let them know you're ok. As they leave they take the strange man with them. You don't even finish Bridgerton. This ruins your mood. You go straight to bed and come to the conclusion that it's time for you to move.

You wait until tomorrow to finish the show. And honestly, it was kind of worth it.