The Best Thing I've Done for My Heart is Disconnect from Unavailable Men

I have wasted too much energy on many beautiful men who have walked into my life, especially the most recent one. It embarrasses me to tell you how long I felt for this person, so I won't mention it.

I cast him back into the sea a few times, knowing that his toxic behaviours were the most unattractive thing about him, but I always can see behind the mask and facade, and I felt there was an in-depth soul that I was supposed to know.

My institution kept pulling me towards him with confusion that it had me believing this was more of a universal connection than a toxic one. As the months rolled by and the intimate eye contact became more than just flirting, I started to believe that this man was possibly in love with me, only because very few have held my eyes like such, the eyes don't lie, but most of all, I felt he was my person.

Maybe he was, perhaps he still is, but the lack of action on his part was the last straw when he wouldn't respond to my final text that my mom put me up too; thanks, mom but seriously, thank you.

Out of anger and frustration, I finally had my F this moment and realized that it was time to cut the cord and move on.

#1 Pop the fantasy with a pitchfork

My favourite fantasy was fishing in the afternoon while we drank beer and basked in the sun. After dinner, we would entangle ourselves in sheets for days.

Endless conversations because I felt we had so much to talk about especially being close to the same age and having a lifetime of experiences to share.

Getting wrapped up in the fantasy of what you think you could be can become quite addictive. It sets up the connection for unrealistic expectations, and although it is fun to daydream, popping the fantasy is the first step on moving on from someone.

#2 The only sign and symbol to pay attention to is their lack of attention to you

Signs and symbols come along with a love connection, from watching movies that remind you of them, or someone walking by that looks exactly like them while wearing the same sneakers, or how about their name on the back of transfer trucks while driving on the highway. I counted his name nine times in an hour. It started to amuse me. Of course, I felt this was a divine connection; the signs and symbolic communication from the universe were specific in many more ways.

The problem is it can only keep you invested for so long. A true sign is when the person doesn't show up or take action on the connection. There could be many reasons why, like being tied up with someone else, or not being ready or just not interested.

Whatever it is, there does come a time to ignore the signs and symbols so that you can make the next step with moving on. No response is a definite response and a hard no.

#3 Shut them out, not because you want to but because you have to

To make the final decision on moving on from someone, you do have to shut them out and act like they don't exist. I wouldn't say I like this part because this is when I truly know that I'll finally progress.

I won't see us as something unique and inspirational anymore; this is when I start to take the rose-tinted glasses off and see the true meaning of the connection. Perhaps a karmic life lesson? It's very disappointing, and it hurts my heart, but what else am I supposed to think.

You must do what it takes to get over them. Delete the phone number, delete any pictures, and don't make eye contact or give them the time a day. They don't deserve it, and it's nothing personal; it's just the ultimate step on officially moving on.

Final thoughts

Giving up on a potential love connection just plain sucks. It's essential to feel the emotions that come with releasing any attachments and fuel any future fantasy. Still, you mustn't hold onto someone who isn't willing to indulge.

Ensure you stay busy and remember that this one didn't work out because maybe the next one will.

What you don't pay attention to will naturally fade away, one can hope.

Copyright © 2021, Jennifer Pitts, All Rights Reserved.