The Bench

Emotions stagnant. In a space you’re used to but not comfortable with. You don’t mind it because it’s with family but the vibes of you connecting with everyone is different from my own. Looking at different aspects of everyone else’s life gives you perspective of life. Loneliness & positivity is what is given but unable to enjoy any moment at a party & bring everyone else to the limelight isn’t something that’s normally done. Joy & happiness through self love is what’s facilitated.

Feelings of content in the nature of grass & the calmness of the wind helps to connect with nature. Sounds from various locations distorts the sense of existing. Boredom arises when connectivity with others aside from the remedial family fades into the wind. You wonder beyond the field of view & turn to nature & watch as the world around moves by. As you sit on this bench to think & relive your memories & find your future.

In times like these when you’re at family gatherings you tend to scope the family around you. Looking at the ones you haven’t seen in a hot minute to new people considered family. You try to see what you can connect with them with & you come to find nothing. Its no worry, there’s always something to communicate with others with because you can learn new things about the other person that you didn’t know. Having that connection with family helps give you an open window to venture & make a new connection.

It’s also ok if there’s no remedial connection. That way you tried to create one and your presence is already known. Sometimes you can treat these gatherings like a business opportunity to network. If your able to achieve success this way, then you can find what they can provide & create a potential partnership within the family.

Normally if you’re not feeling so into things you would say your goodbyes & leave. But being so far from home something feels like a need to stay might be worth it. Going back home means going back to isolation. Isolation is good because you can do what you want to do in the comfort of your own space. But when you’re exposed to an opportunity to gather with family you join to not only to show your support but to be there in case you are needed. Still you seat in the bench & think.

Feeling needed helps to have importance in a family that’s so separated. The opposite can occur When your family isn’t so forthcoming with acceptance & family bond. Boredom becomes the death of me as I question my stay. Fighting the urge to eat my emotions & forget what I fought for, I try to distract myself with common things like social media & liquids such as water. One thing to remember when at a bbq is to make sure there’s a bathroom nearby. Otherwise you might be forced to wait longer than needed to use the facilities.

Basically family is important. Whether it’s blood connected or the ones you are adopted into. Respect & trust helps keeps the relationship closer & the power to have something to come back to build to something strong. Make sure you’re a priority above all else. Keeping your mental game in check & knowing when you need to get that fresh air is important.

Over the years people can grow to appreciate & respect the family they have been born into but sometimes reality can kick you in the face and present you with difficult circumstances. You help & try to be the best person you can be with the people you are with but you have to remember that its ok if you do not connect with everyone in your family. You are not obligated to cater to anyone but yourself. Family helps support & love unconditionally.

You’re reminded of the times you feel alone and how your connection with the world becomes more of a fantasy than a reality. You sit on a bench thinking of the future & the present. Wondering what will change & what will to stay idle, you contemplate life & slowly except the reality of isolated human connection. Soon after the times progress, assistance is needed & you help in order to move along with time.

The flow of nature & the leaves helps to feel in the moment with life. Contemplating the end of the day you lay on the bench pondering. Waiting for your partner in crime to come to your aid and liberate life. To make reality easier & to free yourself from your own darkness. You yet to realize that your future partner is not your saving grace but your other half. The one that helps you when you’re down & celebrate when your up. Just as you do with them. Like a family member that provides unconditionally love & support, a partner is similar.