The Art of Standing Still

Right now I am lying on the floor, typing. It’s not the most comfortable position in the world to accomplish this task but it’s okay for the end of the day. I’ve accomplished everything that I set out to do and have set myself up for success tomorrow. I do not need to do more and am very content in finishing the day as is.

Being Content

It’s taken me years to figure this out and find a happy equilibrium but now I am here, I do not wish to let go. I have my routine that I like to follow each day (weekdays are either in the office or at home but follow a pattern each time), with the weekends offering chances to relax or to head out and explore.

If I am working from home then the routine goes something like this…work from 9 am until 5 pm (give or take half an hour on each side) and in between all of this, exercise, write my thousand words, practice French and get my 10,000 steps.

After this point, there is a golden window when my time is my own. The window is closed once my wife returns from work and I make her tea, we catch up and get dinner going. This is then followed by either video games, television, a board game, trip to the pub or a spontaneous drinking session. Who knows but there are common threads.

Weekends can follow similar patterns but they often end up with my wife and I either relaxing for the day or simply heading out to see family or friends. The purpose for outlining all of this is that I’m happy and very content to simply have a chilled evening/weekend. I no longer yearn to be out and about all of the time and it’s great.

Taking a Step Back

I love all of my friends and family. They are my reason for being but I no longer live vicariously through them. With my wife, I am simply content to sit in the same room and not talk to each other.

One playing a videogame and the other reading, we don’t need to be constantly in the pocket of the other and I love it. Not in the sense that I want to be quiet, in the sense that we are happy doing nothing.

By seeing my weekly routine you can see that we socialize and have date nights. No two nights are ever the same but when we do have nights at home, I am happy. I don’t feel disappointed as I did in previous relationships where I felt that I could have been doing so much more and it’s a nice feeling.

For me finding a point in your life when you can say that you are content is the point at which you can say you are happy, as happiness does not come from money. It does not come from spending or going out all the time, it comes from finding someone that you are happy to do nothing with. To simply be in the same room with.

This year I have been even happier to spend more time at home. Not simply through working at home but also through spending additional evenings here and not at the pub. To save for the future and from this I could feel as though I am missing out but I do not.

This Weekend

I have a free Friday night and nothing to do on Saturday which I am so happy about. Happy because it means I can spend time reading a book, writing and merely being alive, rather than worrying about being somewhere.

The following day I will be celebrating my belated birthday with some friends who are coming up to London and it is something that I am looking forward to, yet it is not set to define my life. I am not living through them, more that I will be happy to catch up and share a few laughs, simple as that.

The reason I am laying out both of these scenarios is that when I first arrived in London I felt lost. I felt as though leaving my room was an achievement. I had no friends and I was doing nothing with my weekends and so slowly but surely I began to note down what I was doing, and little by little things changed.

I began to fill fulfilled but then the fire needed to be fueled to the point where I have saved very little over the last few years. Something that I am not overly concerned with as I have so many amazing memories but now, as I am content with life, the time has come to take a step back.

A Final Thought

I can safely say that it has taken until my 34th birthday to feel fully content with life. To not look at others and feel jealous, to be happy with where I find myself and that is due to changes that I have made over the last couple of years, from finding a new job to marrying my wife. I have changed and for this, I am extremely happy.

I have my struggles such as trying to stop myself from spending online but overall, I am content. Happy with what I do have and not wishing for what I do not have and that is a huge achievement in itself. To be able to spend nights or days doing very little yet walking away feeling as though I am the luckiest and most successful human out there, it’s amazing.

Standing still is something that used to frustrate me and now it’s something that I look forward to. Smiling to myself over what I have achieved and what I will achieve over the next few years of my life, knowing that the best is yet to come. That is where my focus is on will keep defining my actions for future days and years, to hold onto that contentment.