The Art of Fear

I come to a place of still and acceptance within myself and because of this i’m letting life take control, my journey ended up last night at a girls home that I’ve been generally relating with.

Sobriety was I, all night.

As I observed the night unfold it started with a couple casual beers and conversation and ended with everyone on acid and two beings in a conflict, one possessing a knife with intent to harm…or defend let’s take a look a little deeper….

I love to get to know every “individual”, see what drives them, see what motivates them, what their passions are, where they have come from and what brings purpose to their lives.

As sobriety was experienced I was really able to come to presence with people and conversation, really able to relate in a way of love, acceptance and compassion. People seem to be more open to sharing after a few beers too.

As conversing went on I got around to most people, 9–10 or so and I had a general understanding of what love and fear meant to them, what made them the person that they are today.

Great beauty was shared, great pain also. I met one girl who was in a narcissistic relationship for 4 years and was abused by drugs yet she took a leap of faith, quit her high paying job, left her ex and move to this new city. I then experienced her singing later as a few people had some instruments and her voice was astonishing yet she’s never done anything with singing before.

I met a guy knew the In’s and out’s of the drug industry, he grew up in Japan involved with the Yakuza (Japanese mafia) you can guess where that ends up heading….drug addiction, rehab, overdosing.

Yet he took in information like no other and he loved sharing the information with people, he was a natural teacher, a natural messenger.

He was driven by love but didn’t really understand what love meant for himself so he often got confused and lost on his path.

I also met a guy who only had one beer, I asked him how his day was he mentioned that he didn’t do “much”. I asked him what that actually looks like in his life, he suggested that he just practised guitar at home, learning new strings. I reminded him that while he is drinking the least and focusing on his dream during the day that most people that where attending this gathering where trying to escape their reality, not invest in it.

He actually made a huge step by choosing to stay sober, choosing to follow his dream, most find this very challenging to to do, what he did, is not “not much”. It’s everything if it calls cultivates your passion, heart and inspiration.

See no matter where I went I was able to understand people on a deeper level, some understood this space inside themselves and felt safe to express it with some liquid or substance courage and last guy I mentioned was open to expressing his heart without alcohol but had lack of confidence in himself.

So what happened? After exploring these different beings I was aware of how to converse with them in a loving way because I put in effort to understand them..they didn’t know how to do this with each other though, instead fear and safety was the first instinct for them through conversions with each other.

With that being said, they where all drunk on drugs and as the night went on they fell deeper into their trance of mind-body drug takeover. The passion inside of them didn’t disappear the space between there body, mind and soul got bigger, the drugs eventually took over the mind and the body couldn’t keep up. They invested in drugs to “feel good” instead of following their hearts, their passion, their dreams. It was all there they just made a decision based off fear, that fear pushed them into a state of suffering.

After a few beers, few lines of coke and a tab of acid I was sitting and chatting with a girl who only had a couple beers, the only one close to sobriety at this point that was still in the house. We heard “knife” put the “F***ing knife away”.

OK… WHAT HAPPENED?

Firstly before I continue, I want to state that I’ve had the experience of acid(LSD) before and in this state if something bad happens like this, things can go very wrong in the mind, very fast. It’s a misunderstood drug that needs to be respected, not abused. The damage that can be done from this experience to someone who was on acid can take a very long time, even a lifetime to ascend from.

As the night went on, peoples fear grew bigger, people lost touch with their inner peace, their purpose, turned to the world and lost sight of what’s important, through misunderstanding fear was manifested.

I choose to love others, to understand, maybe that’s why I could get so deep, connect so peacefully, because I was sober and open.

Take what you like from this story, what resonates. What I learnt is that we can’t escape this reality to find true peace, joy, connection and fulfilment, we must do it with acceptance and love towards one another, without this conflict will always arise, we need to be intentional and open to create a safe space to express ourselves.