The Adventures of Lorne W.P Vanderwoude

My memory takes me back to when I was seven years old. This was back in 1974 when I was six years old. I had a stutter which made it very hard for me to communicate with other people. I spent a lot of my spare time in my bedroom with all of my imaginary friends. Little Ted was with me as well as all of my friends. At that time, my brother and I shared a bedroom in the basement. In our bedroom was a bunk bed that my brother slept on top and I slept on the bottom.

At night, I talked out loud with my friends, Mommy and Orkney. It is amazing that no one wondered if I had lost my marbles since I spoke a lot to myself. I felt that voices spoke through my mind. This kept me entertained for hours as I laid in my bed. Little Ted sat next to me for hours as I had conversations with my two imaginary friends. One day, I told my Mother about my two friends. All my Mother told me not to speak like this again or I could be called crazy. This did frighten me so much that I never did bring that topic up ever again. I was determined not to be placed in an insane hospital so I kept my mouth shut for my safety.

When I started Sunday School Junior High class in our Baptist church, I had a bad habit of talking too much while the teacher was trying to teach the Sunday School lesson. I found it so satisfying to ask lots of questions and to put my input into the lesson. Well, the teacher did not appreciate the constant interrupting of her teaching. My mother sat me down and asked me to refrain from my bad habit of talking too much in the teaching period of time. I am not too sure what the world I was thinking? I thought that the whole class really enjoyed my thoughts on the lesson. The sad fact was nobody did appreciate the effort that I was making during the lesson. I was only trying to understand the topic just a little bit better.

My first experience with a girl who I liked happened when I was in Junior High school. I do remember one year when Sunday school was getting ready for our Christmas program. There was a girl who I really liked, who was chosen to be Mary and I was chosen to be Joseph. I really thought that this was a sign that I could get closer to this girl. I thought that I could soon be dating her as my girlfriend.

Well, looking back on this part of my life, I do realize that I was not living in the real world. In my imaginary world, Leona and I were already dating. I spent so much time on my own, to the point where at times I was not really in tune with reality.

I spent time with this girl hour after hour getting to know her. She was so awesome. I began to fall in love with her braces, smile and her laugh. This was one of the best times which I experienced in my life until that point.

Well, I began to realize that this was not really happening in the real world. At the time, I thought this was because I did not have a car. I spent many hours by myself upstairs in my bedroom daydreaming of my relationship with a girl who did not even realize that I even liked her.

The next girl who I tried to have a relationship with was not until when I left home for Bible school. Her name was Catherine Sidwell. I had a very similar experience with this girl except for this time she knew of my interest in her. Well, I pushed and pushed until one day she decided that I would not be allowed to talk, write or phone her. I should have seen the sign on the wall. She was trying to blow me off. Well, in my little world, I already had a great relationship with her. In reality, we had no such relationship.

I realized that this was not going anywhere. I had tried to pursue a relationship with this person for the past six months. I had not realized it made a character inside of my mind and called her Catherine. I did not have a lot of friends so I sent hours in my spare time imaging how my relationship with Catherine was going to turn out. I honestly thought that the situations which I had imagined would eventually catch up with those events which were happening in reality.

It took a meeting with dorm deans in their office which made me realize that this relationship was not going to ever happen. They told me that if I did not stop my pursuit of this girl, I would be expelled from the Bible school. I was told that I had to visit the school psychologist since I am sure they thought I was crazy. I realized that I was fighting a losing battle and I decided to move on.

While at a hockey game one weekend, a girl sat down beside me. Her name was Nancy who was a High schooler. I took an instant like for her since she seemed to be very nice to me. We decided to date which was a pretty good idea. Now, this girl pursued me just I did Catherine which was not a part of my plans which I had set up in my imaginary world. I had never been pursued in my entire life. To make a long story short, I asked one of her friends to pretend to date me so that she would get the hint that I was not interested in dating her. Well, Nancy showed her all of my letters and they told me to get lost. Now, as a 52-year-old, I do understand that what I did was really nonsense and really stupid. My friend, Paul and I had gone to Prairie High school's chapel meetings which they held every school day. This brought to an end my relationship with Nancy.

The end of the school year had come and I still had not achieved my goal of going to Bible school. My parents decided to transfer me to a Bible school which most of us kids had started to go to. My brother, Peter and Joy had both gone to this Bible school. However, before going to this Bible School, I decided to go to Banff in order to get a summer job.

I started working at an A&W restaurant. I worked there for a few weeks when I was fired from the job. I found a job at the Banff Park Lodge as a dishwasher. I tried finding a girlfriend to find myself failing at relationship after relationship. After two months of working at the Banff Park Lodge, I quit and went over to Phil's Pancake House and to Gus' Family restaurant. I also worked a few days a week at Harvey's restaurant. I even convinced this girl to move to Banff so could date her. Her name was Sherri which later changed my mind because she did not fit in my little world. She left and went back to Calgary with a broken heart which I do regret to this day. I never did get back to her and apologize for the hurt I did cause her.

I left Banff with a broken heart and my unrealistic expectations were not met. I went through a lot more failed attempts at finding a girlfriend. The very same unrealistic expectations lead me through a number of failed attempted to have a relationship. I saw guy after guy going on dates which watched from a distance. I was frustrated that what these guys had, I had with imaginary girls who only existed in my imagination. I then found this girl by mail who I started to date by letters. I felt such a connection to this girl who I had only met in person once over our courtship. When I did meet her, I never took her on a date. I just introduced myself and that was it. l never thought to take her on a date or even touch her hand. Six months later on my birthday, she broke up with me saying that she felt no connection or even thought that of me as her boyfriend.

It is hard especially when your Mother did not even believe she was a real person. This was when Mother was alive here on this earth. I decided after Bethany to go to Briecrest College and then to Gardner College. I went through more failed attempts at finding a relationship which now brings me to the day when things began to change for me in a positive way. I could go into details into these failed attempts but since these were the same repeated missteps over and over, I decided to skip those details.

Then it came to May of 1992. My Grandmother had passed away. That was quite a loss to me since she really knew how to reach me even when I was at the bottom. I do miss her a lot to this very day. I met my wife to be who is my best friend and partner to this very day. This was when I started to do a thing correctly and I went from what I was thinking to now I am finally thinking in the correct way. This article is the introduction to my next article which will be "How I met my wife".