The ABCs of 1 2 Me

The ABCs of 1 2 Me

Because I needed a title of some sort. I have seen this theme pop up a time or three and thought I’d toss my entry in. I wasn’t tagged by anyone, nor do I have anyone to tag. I have a lot to juggle and do not engage enough. We all have things to juggle, of course, I’m just not very good at it.

I find these interesting since it gives some idea of how we perceive ourselves, which is always a tad different from how others view us. When I was younger I cared about such things, but these days I’m just bored with everyone’s shit. So, let us begin

A - Asshole. I am sure anyone who knows me would agree. Especially my 3 ex-wives. Pestilence, Famine, and Death.

B - Blunt. I tell it like it is. Until people’s opinions can be magically changed into currency I can use to pay my bills, I gots no reason to do otherwise.

C - Charming. Those who know me, love me. Those who do not know me…..love me from afar.

D- Dumbass. There is a fine line between smartass and dumbass, sometimes I hang out on this side of that line.

E - Eager. To find the nearest couch and take a nap.

F - Fatalistic. To quote the great and wise Bender:

G - Good. At least I try to be. Good takes work. Evil is lazy.

H - Hedonistic. I was gonna say horny, but that’s just so uncouth…..

I - Idiot. 3 ex-wives, need I say more?

J - Jalapeno, as in the pepper, I’m just so hawt

K - Kind. Again, I try to be kind. It takes less effort than being good, though. Perhaps because we can choose who we are kind to. Good must apply to all, like justice, or it applies to none.

L - Lover. I have a prehensile tongue. They all proposed after, I said “yes” to 3 fool that I am.

M - Massive. I am 20 pounds away from imploding inwards on myself like a neutron star. Instant slimmiication!

N - Nice, on the weekends.

O - Oh crap my brain is getting tired from reciting the alphabet after each entry to remember the next damn letter.

P - Philosophical. I think, therefore I know we’re screwed.

Q - Quiet. But I am always loud so nobody realizes I’m the quiet one. mwhahahahaha

R - Resolute. I’m not stubborn, but I will not be deterred.

S - Sane. Nah, I just wanted to give the people who know me a chuckle reading it

T - Trekkie. I mean, hey. Star Trek was a staple growing up. It’s a much a part of me as any descriptive word I could choose starting with “T”

U - Say U, Say me. Say it together……naturally….

V - Vain. I’m so vain, I bet I think this article is about me….

W - War. Hey, 3 ex-wives. Pestilence, Famine, and Death. The Four Horseman. Because The Four Horsepeople sounds like shit.

X - let’s just say X-rated because, goddamn, I gots a dirty mind

Y - because fuck you, that’s Y

Z - Zen, it’s a state I always strive for. Being caregiver to aging parents and guardian to my teenage psycho niece, it’s not always easy.

Anyone who actually reads this and wants to do one, consider yourself tagged. You can be as serious or as light hearted as you wish. Others have taken it seriously and written some very good pieces. However, it seems to me that, whatever platform you’re reading, everyone takes themselves too seriously and armchair quarterbacking is everyone’s profession. Give laughing at yourself and life a try.