Ten Tips On Using Relationship Quizzes To Understand Yourself And Your Partner

There are tons of quizzes online (below is a list and links to a number of self-assessment instruments you can use free of charge) and in magazines that can help you better understand yourself and your relationships, but you need to know a few things to get the maximum benefit. Here are a few tips and suggestions:

• Remember most of these quizzes are not scientific, so the results should be treated as fun, and a little informative, and not necessarily a true reflection of you and your relationships.
• Always apply critical thinking to any of the results -- i.e. ask "Is this really reflective of me (or the other person). Numbers make things appear more accurate than they really are.
• Do the quizzes with your partner. Use them as a basis to discuss things, and not as a basis for beating each other up, or arguing, or blaming.
• Some quizzes purport to assess personality disorders or mental issues. These can be dangerous, since only a professional is in a position to give you a valid assessment of mental problems. Best to stay away from these.
• Self-help and quizzes should never be used as a substitute for professional mental health or relationship help.
• Treat the quizzes as a fun exercise, rather than thinking they will tell you something you don't already know. YOU are the ultimate determiner of the accuracy of the results.
• Quizzes with more questions generally are more accurate. The shorter the quiz, the less useful.
• Focus not only on the results, but your responses to each individual question. The value of quizzes is often to stimulate your thinking about yourself, so pay attention to your thought processes when you answer each question.
• If you do a quiz with a partner, treat their results as confidential. Don't share or gossip about their responses or results. It creates bad feelings and is often destructive.
• Never use quiz results to justify yourself to your partner or blame your partner. Use them to open up discussion between the two. TALK, and talk in civil ways with an open heart and mind.

Below are a number of available free assessments and quizzes. We've tried to weed out any that seem scammy, or a waste of time, but it's up to you to determine what works for you. (Note: Quiz links were working as of May 25, 2021.

Free Quizzes and Assessments To Try Right Now

Relationship Structures Quiz - Attachment Styles Across Relationships By Chris Fraley - This application is designed to help you learn more about the way you mentally represent important people in your life. You will be asked to answer questions about your parents, your romantic partners, and your friends. When you are finished, the program will analyze your responses and provide you with a summary of how these different relationships are organized in your mind. This application takes about 5 to 10 minutes to complete.

What Do You Really Need in a Relationship By Oprah - From Oprah, a nice exercise in helping you define what's most important to you in your relationship. About 40 items to answer.

Stress and Anxiety Quiz By University of California - Berkeley - Not about relationships, per se, but about whether you have too much stress and anxiety in your life. From University of California, about 21 questions.

Is Your Relationship Based On Trust Or Suspicion? Find out With This Relationship Trust Quiz By University of California - Berkeley - Trust is one of the building blocks of any long term relationship. This short 17 item test asks you to assess YOURSELF, rather than your partner, to see how much you trust him or her. Remember, this quiz is about you, not whether the other person is trustworthy.

Arguing Style Test Online By Queendom - Longer test on how you argue, which is an important predictor of relationship success. You can take this free online, and receive a very short summary of the results, but you would need to login and pay for the full results. The questions are sensible, so just answering them and thinking about your own answers can be helpful.

Mindfulness Quiz By University of California - Berkeley - Not about relationships, but this may be a really good way to introduce yourself to the idea of mindfulness, meditation and staying in the moment: The practice of mindfulness has been linked to happiness, health, and psychological well-being, but many of us may not know exactly what it is, let alone how to cultivate it. The quiz below draws on a mindfulness scale developed by researchers at La Salle University and Drexel University, led by psychology professor Lee Ann Cardaciotto. Please answer as honestly as possible about how frequently you experienced each of the following 20 statements over the past week.

Fear Of Relationship Commitment Test By Queendom - Are you afraid of commitment in your relationships? Here's a self-assessment tool to stimulate your thinking. Short results available for free for this 35 question survey, but full analysis requires payment. Excerpt: Find yourself wishing you could climb out the bathroom window everytime your partner brings up the commitment issue? Fear of commitment is a major cause of breakups in romantic relationships. One person is ready to tie the knot, while the other feels as though a knot is being tied around their neck. Are you ready to commit to taking the plunge? Find out if you're really ready by taking this commitment readiness test. This test is made up of two types of questions: scenarios and self-assessment. For each scenario, answer according to how you would most likely behave in a similar situation.

Emotional Intelligence Quiz By University of California - Berkeley - This is cool, since it uses pictures to test your ability to read and understand people. As with the other University of California quizzes, this has at least some science to it.