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Ten Things I’ve Learned Falling in Love With a Scorpio

If you like adventure, confusion, passion and years of hard work, a Scorpio may be right for you. The time you get with one will be the most amazing of your life and they raise the bar for any who follow.

By Angela Brigance-VancePublished 6 years ago 10 min read
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Some don’t believe in astrology or in the idea your birth time and date could successfully predict your behavior. They believe we are all floating through life and despite sharing identical backgrounds, upbringing and parents, we just miraculously have a completely opposite personality than our siblings. Birth order may play a role, but after three kids, even that becomes vague and inaccurate. The fact that we are generally 65 percent water, and water is affected by gravity should be evidence enough that heavenly bodies affect us just like the moon affects the ocean.

Whether you buy into it or not, if you have ever dated or fallen in love with a Scorpio, then you may find plenty of similarities to what horoscopes say about them and who they are. Scorpios are focused, protective, magnetic, faithful, and sexual partners. They are also mysterious, jealous, resentful, slow to open up, and will make you regret the day you were born if you ever hurt them. Not everyone is capable of loving them through the hard times, or overlooking the beginning quirks, but once you fall in love with one, if you are lucky enough to, they will forever be the bar for anyone unlucky enough to follow them.

It is an education and learning experience whether or not it is a forever, but you will never forget your time with them. This is a list of ten things I learned from falling in love with a Scorpio.

About Myself…

Being with a Scorpio is like a crash course in self-awareness. Over the time I have been in a relationship with my Scorpio, I have figured so much out about myself I would have remained blissfully ignorant to had I not been. Losing my husband at such a young age, I developed abandonment issues and expressed those subconsciously. Expounded by insecurities bred from a less than stellar childhood, the urge to create problems where they don’t exist and to imagine the worst is ever present.

Scorpios are incredibly intuitive. They see underneath the veil of what your insecurities desperately try to hide, to the truth, the "I love you" in every canned fight. The "I miss you" making you lash out. The "running scared" in you trying to break up with them before you have to nurse a broken heart from loving them too much. If you are lucky enough for them to stick around through it, you will come out a different person on the other side.

Strength...

Only a strong person can truly love a Scorpio. Anyone can date one, and will definitely gain a life lesson from the experience, but to fully and unconditionally (there are a lot of possible conditions) love a Scorpio, one must be mentally strong. They will become so, in the process if they aren’t already.

The resilient Scorpio pushes you well beyond any comfort level you hold. They test you, because strength is important for them to fully open up. You will not catch a Scorpio investing feelings in a person who will endanger their heart. Expect an emotional workout for the foreseeable future if you are falling for a Scorpio. Despite their almost super human presentation, there is insecurity. Opening up to the wrong person will devastate them, so be prepared to put in the work. A Scorpio is damn resilient, though, so if you think they will sit around and pine over your loss, you are sadly mistaken. Temporary defeat motivates them and they won't stay down, if knocked down, for long.

The manipulative Scorpion will prepare you for the intense love they have to give, slowly. Only when you have proven worthy will they allow you in. This is a group who views love as an all-consuming desire and worthy of any sacrifice, so the one they bestow this has to be worthy of their loyalty.

Compassion...

The most passionate of the zodiac, a Scorpio loves with raw energy and full abandon when they love. A by-product of such levels of passion is total compassion. Powerful connections breed unity. The ultimate goal for a Scorpio is to find the love worthy of this union. The deep seeded fear of betrayal, jealousy, and faithfulness of a Scorpion love story is either a beautiful thing or a thing of nightmares, depending on what you choose to do with it. More than just compassion, you will feel their joy and pain, celebrate their wins, mourn their losses. Be prepared to accept this or keep moving.

Passion...

I blush as I typed that. Not, because I am childish and don’t have the maturity to speak of it without getting embarrassed, or that I have the mentality of a school kid who giggles when the teacher says "Uranus." I blush, because even after being married and having children, and understanding sexual reproduction and lust for decades, I never understood the concept of passion between two people requiring no close proximity. Never until now. How two people miles apart could still illicit passion between each other, and even seeing their name on a phone could instantly calm whatever mood you found yourself in. I never experienced someone I could be completely furious with and just the sound of their voice makes it all go away instantaneously. He was my teacher in this aspect, and whether he knew it or not, he set a bar no one would ever come close to.

Forgiveness...

I have always considered myself a forgiving person. I "am" a forgiving person in that I could easily let transgressions go. He would be the one who taught me unconditional forgiveness. Maybe my epiphany in this area stems from me mostly viewing forgiveness as something I have granted. I'm not saying I intentionally went around feeling I do nothing requiring forgiveness, merely that I never preconceived myself requiring it. I usually live with the purpose of never hurting someone to the point I require their forgiveness. I try to be good to people. With him, I saw myself fighting the fear of abandonment with sometimes ravenous and uncharacteristic blows. He was the only exception. I tried to sabotage it every milestone. I would run before I was hurt. He was terrifying in the sense I knew if I gave him the parts of my heart which survived so far, he could destroy them.

I would think everything into oblivion, and couldn’t just go with the natural flow of our relationship. The flow he required to be confident in his choice, and in hindsight I have found totally acceptable. I used to view time as an endangered species. It really is just a measurement. Although you want to spend every second you can with someone who makes you feel the way he did me, but in the big scheme of things, we have forever.

Through all of this, he always forgave my sometimes insane pressure to speed the timing up. He came back. My biggest fear stems from past lessons where they didn’t, the ones when time ran out, and for whatever reason I was left holding the pieces. He forgave me for not seeing him as someone different.

Patience...

Expounding on the lessons learned about forgiveness, he taught me patience. He probably didn’t even realize he was doing it, since the act of being patient is his forte. He has always been patient with me and my flaws, emotional and otherwise. With every return, I began to accept he was here for the long haul. With this acceptance came the freedom to let go of the need to hold on for dear life.

Vanishing was the fear of his never returning, and of him being another chance to mourn. In a way, I could quit confusing his actions with indifference. I recognized his choices I had seen as playing me for a fool, in reality were his meeting me halfway—him giving what he could safely, and his retreating not a personal attack, but required for him to progress. We weren’t hurting each other anymore, because neither one of us were caught in the cycle. He stuck through it, just like I had, and forgiving each other's mistakes was proof enough.

Balance...

When I met him, I was still very much mourning Ryan’s loss and the tragic events surrounding his last few months on Earth. I won’t call it a "breakdown" because I was most assuredly not broken, but more of a frenzy. The idea of life being so fragile and short was omnipresent leaving me in the wake, frantically scurrying to cram beauty and life into every single second. I had forgotten how to relax and love the moments. My ability to appreciate the bits and pieces of beauty and love around me was overshadowed by my debilitating fear of missing out on the next one.

Scorpios are so impeccably balanced. In life, they appreciate everything down to the beauty of missing someone you love. While I still tear myself up inside at the thought of the days ahead we are apart, he knows this period will make our reunion sweeter. The moments we have had together are all beautiful. We don’t waste precious time together fighting over petty things or irrelevant grievances. Those moments are us two, and even in a crowded room, we focus on each other so avidly we can live off of the memory until we have the next one.

Tranquility...

Scorpios are fiercely protective of the ones they love. On the other hand, through life circumstances I have very rarely felt safe or secure. From the first date, even amid the growing pains of the years we have been seeing each other, I have always felt calm, protected, and safe with him. I know what it feels like now, and I wish I had these feelings more. There have been times he has, unbeknownst to me at the time, pushed me out of my comfort zone. I have questioned my trust for him. There have been times when we were apart and I wanted to kick him in his testicles, but the minute we are in each other’s presence it I replaced with tranquility and peace.

To Dig Deeper...

Being with a Scorpio is an interactive puzzle. The first months (or years) with them will be a game of figuring out what they feel, do they feel, or if they are even human. If they love you, the only way to find out is if they actually go out of their way to make you feel they do not. They won’t be like a Nicholas Sparks' movie and go out of their way to shower you with affection. In fact, their affection is so subtle you will probably miss it.

Scorpios will know what you are up to if they love you. They will seem a little stalker-y if they are falling for you, which runs most people away. Their fear of being hurt is almost too much when they feel themselves developing feelings for you. It will present itself in the form of being jealous, maybe even a little prying. It will drive you mad, and if you are like me, it will piss you off. I got so exhausted of it, but the prize for this relationship scavenger hunt was worth it.

Lastly, To Love Like a Friend

The most valuable lesson I have learned from my Scorpio is friendship. I looked at it all wrong in the beginning. I saw it as a verbatim situation. My marriage taught me incorrectly. We fell in love quickly and were inseparable. Our friendship grew out of necessity. When he died, I did lose my best friend. When I married him, he was far from it. This time around, I was lucky enough to grow the friendship first. In the end, we may not even end up together, but we have a friendship that will forever be solid. I am sure if we don’t have a fairy tale romance ending, we will have a happy one, nonetheless. That is priceless.

fact or fiction
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About the Creator

Angela Brigance-Vance

Mother of four, navigating life post loss of husband. Co-host and Producer of NewVMusic vlog and owner of Virtuosity Agency, with a crazy life.

Reader insights

Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

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  1. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

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