Ten (+1) Tips for Coping with Long Distance Relationships

For those of you who know me, you will know that my partner and I did the whole long distance relationship thing for six months. If you know me really well, you’ll know how tough I found it at times. But we got through it, and I’m so glad we did! So here are my top tips on how to make long distance work!

Tip #1 – Don’t be over the top.

Just because you are apart, doesn’t mean you have to excessively talk to one another. Although communication is very important, don’t push for constant conversation. I was busy with my dissertation, and he was busy with work, and so there were days where we barely spoke, but that was OK because we knew we were both busy and sometimes there just wasn’t anything to say. We found that talking to each other when we actually had stuff to say made the conversation a lot more interesting rather than talking about what we had for lunch!

Tip #2 – Use it to your advantage.

Living together is great, but it was actually really nice to have time apart and still be able to focus solely on myself. It’s important to make time for yourself, and distance really helps you to focus on your own stuff too!

Tip #3 – Confidence is key.

Believing that you can make it work is really important. It’s the situation where you either do it or you lose that person. So have a little faith, and if you are both willing to make it work, it will work!

Tip #4 – Gifts!

When Josh was having a bad day, I would send him a take away or a little goody bag of treats, and he would do the same for me! Although we were miles apart, knowing that they care enough to send you something to cheer you up really makes all the difference. Any gesture is a big gesture to show you care!

Tip #5 – Always plan the next time you’ll meet.

For Josh and myself, we were still meeting once a month. It was extremely tough on my bank account, but it was worth it. Saying goodbye is a lot easier when you have a date to say hello.

Tip #6 – Find something fun that you can do together through the internet (and no, I don’t mean sexual).

We used to play this silly football game on an app on our phones and we would spend hours per night playing against each other. Although we were at different ends of the country, it really made us feel close still.

Tip #7 – Don’t hide emotions.

As in a normal relationship, it’s still OK to depend on your partner emotionally. Although some days we barely spoke — on the days that we needed each other, we would make time for one another.

Tip #8 – Trust

Trust is so important with relationships. But even more so with long distance relationships. Your relationship will not work if you are constantly worried about what your partner is doing. I cannot stress this enough, which brings me onto my next point…

Tip #9 – Don’t be jealous.

I feel like a hypocrite writing this because I get very jealous very easily. It’s so hard when your partner is spending time with other people and you don’t get to see them for weeks. This was the hardest part about the distance for me, and it wasn’t that I didn’t trust him — it was just that people were in his company and I couldn’t be.

Tip #10 – Talk about the future.

It was so comforting to be able to look into the future and see one with us together; it made all the stress of long distance worth it. The old saying “distance makes the heart grow fonder” really is true. I feel that with the distance it makes you realise how much you want the relationship to work. You would not be putting in the amount of effort if you didn’t see a future together.

Tip #11 – Surround yourself with friends and family.

Just because you can’t be with your partner does not mean that you can’t have a good time. At university I surrounded myself with people who made me happy so that my days weren’t caught up with just missing Josh. I absolutely adore the people who kept me happy when times got tough. It’s so nice knowing people want you to be happy and are willing to push you forward when you start questioning the distance.

I hope this helps you, and if you have any questions please feel free to get in touch! It’s nice to talk to others about long distance when they themselves have been through it.

Until next time.