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Telling My Best Friends

We are our own biggest critics.

By Niecee MayPublished 3 years ago 6 min read
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My best friends are the most amazing friends anyone could have ever asked for. We have known each other for as long as any of us can remember. Daycare, Pre-K, Kindergarten. Now we're sitting in our eighth year of schooling. I remember a day back in our fifth year of schooling when I think I just discovered a truth about myself. I didn't know how I fell about this truth. I remember wondering if it is had always been this way and if I just figured it out does anyone else know? Was it obvious to others? Was I the only one? I guess lets see what happens from here.

"Adam you seem nervous today." Donna's version of pointedly asking me if I was ok. She's probably my favorite, but then again one on one time was always a little weird with her. Only because neither of us is very good with people and Rosey is so much better at conversation, that Donna and I have very quite just us days most of the time. You know what though, thinking about it all, those quiet hang outs can be a lot of fun too.

"I'm fine. I think it's just this big maths exam we have next week that's kicking my butt from stressing out." I responded without skipping a beat, smiling in attempt to hide my recent discovery and concerns about myself.

"Donna you worry too much and see things that aren't there. Relax we're all bff's and would always tell each other everything, like always." You have to admire her confidence in our friendship and each others honesty. Ok Rosey, thanks for the guilt trip.

"And on that note, I promise to tell you both the full truth when it's just us, but for now this," I say as I gesture to my face and body language. "Is all about the maths exam coming up. Got it?!" I rolled my eyes, grinning and told them both in a matter of fact kind of way.

"I knew something was on his mind. So much for seeing things that aren't there." Donna stated as she stuck her tongue out at Rosey teasingly. We all giggled and went into class.

"So what are we doing tonight and when and where will you finally tell us what's really bugging you Adam?" Rosey asked in between classes as she and Donna came up behind me as I was finishing up in my locker.

"We could go to the café in town and have snacks and tea. We could eat outside so we would have more privacy too. I'll even bring my book decoys and headphones so people will be more likely to leave us alone too."

"Donna you think of everything! Adam what do you think?" Rosie pipped.

"Sounds like a plan, I don't know if food and drinks is best for this discussion but we will see what happens," I chuckled a bit, "but for now let's get through the last couple of classes."

"What on earth could be a potential bad conversation for food and tea time?" Rosey asked bewildered, as I started heading to our next class.

"He said later love, let it go for now. I know it's hard, I want to know too, but he clearly isn't in the mood to tell us just yet. Let him process it all and get comfortable. That includes later when we get to the Café too. Let him bring it up." Rosey rolled her eyes a bit and agreed very unwillingly. I have to give it to Donna, she knows how to calm that woman.

We finally got our orders and went to sit down. Donna was right she laid everything out on the table to make it look like we were studying and needed space and quiet. Not that we needed the rouse, there weren't many people out here anyway, it seemed they all wanted to be inside with the darts tournament going on.

"We got lucky with the tournament going on inside too." I commented before taking a deep breath and making a loud exhale.

"I see the look Rosey, the answer is still no, his news don't be pushy." I love Donna's intuitive side she just made Rosey's face contort stopping her in her tracks.

"Spoil sport." She stuck her tongue out at Donna who giggled. They both Sat down expectantly.

"O.K. O.K. I get it. We'll get down to the whole point. Yes the Math's exam has me in a bunch but yes Donna you are right it isn't just that. Rosey this is either going to be a huge shock or a I knew it situation."

"I like I knew it situations!" Rosey chimed.

"I know you do, but I also know what I'm about to tell you both could be quite shocking and I am ready for almost any question at this point."

"O.K. Spill it because now you're stalling Adam." Donna said sounding slightly annoyed.

I took a deep breath first and then said, "I think I have a crush on someone and I think I finally understand something else now because of it." I finally stated.

"Oh a crush is that all? Who is she and why would this possibly shock me?" Rosey asked a little irritated and yet quite inquisitively, weird how spending so much time with Donna made her a little more like her after all.

"Well for one it isn't a she and for two because we kind of dated last year.."

Before I could go any further the girls both laughed and Rosey said, "We 'dated' last year because everyone else thought we were and we both know it's just friendship between us." I waited for the giggles to subside a moment, and before I could continue Donna asked, "Wait if not a girl crush, then....." She trailed off waiting for me to finish her question.

"Yeah I think I'm gay, I think I have a crush on Benjamin." I told them both.

"Why has it taken you so long to tell us? How long have you known? Why couldn't you have known when we dated? I would have continued the façade and talked HOT BOYS with you!!" Rosey was fast to start talking and we both had to shhhh her as she started getting loud. "Right sorry." She said while giggling, "I guess I got a little excited."

"Well in that case, this makes a lot of sense, you two have never acted like a couple even when you 'dated' and I've never head you talk about any of the girls the way she talks about boys." Donna laughed a bit.

"You know though Donna you don't even agree with me most of the time on guys, like you've mostly 'eeeehhhh'ed' or 'I guess so'ed' my 'he's hot' comments." Rosey was now being accusatory and implying Donna had a secret too.

"Ummm actually now that I think about it Rosey is right Donna, Rosey's comments were never directed at me so I never had to comment back. You though...." I trailed off waiting like she does.

"I didn't think I needed to tell anyone, I assumed it was obvious. Have you not listened to my musical preferences, or seen half the things I like as far as art is concerned? What about my comments about amazing female leads in shows and movies?" Donna shot back in a matter of fact way.

"I guess neither of us had thought about that." Was all I could think to say.

"Donna why didn't you tell me, I'm your best friend!" Rosey pouted.

"Did I have to spell it out for you or does it just make sense?" Donna replied kindly.

"O.K. fair and true, but I guess I just assumed you would have said. How long have you known Donna?"

"Probably as long as you've known you like boys."

"Adam you never answered my questions earlier either." Rosey crossed her arms and waited for my responses to questions I had to think back on to be able to answer.

"The how long have I known and why did it take so long to tell you guys, is maybe a week now and I've been trying to be SURE. Plus this is a nervous thing for me. Girls liking girls is cool or hot or whatever, but guys liking guys is weird to most people. Why didn't I know before now, I guess I just never thought much about any of it before Ben made my insides all twisty at practice last week."

"Adam has a crush finally!!" Rosey began to chant a bit and tease me about it. Which made me smile to feel a little normal about it all finally. I should have relaxed and not been so nervous about telling my two best friends. I still think it's funny that one of my bff's and I both technically came out on the same day. I love my bff's and couldn't have asked for better ones!

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About the Creator

Niecee May

I'm a Mom of two boys, and I have a love of literature. I'm an open book and love reading and writing. I started writing around age 10. I like the term Dragon Mom as I hoard Books.

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