Tape Recorder Theory

Up to eighty percent of divorces are filed by women according to statistics and I suspect that actually falls far short of how many long term sexual/romantic relationships (married or not, living together or not) are ended by the woman of the relationship. My guess would be that it's closer to ninety five percent of long-term relationships are ended by the woman but that I simply my conjecture based on both personal experiences and observations of the termination of relationships I've witnessed over the years. Men tend to fall into relationships like a habit never considering that anyone can leave anyone at any time for any reason. Women, however, have the emotional equivalent of black belts in relationships and psychologically and emotionally are much stronger than men and it's almost always the man that is psychologically devastated by the termination of the relationship and somehow, he almost never saw it coming. It hit him, it seemed, out of the blue. The following is a speech I've given over and over to friends that have just experienced the sudden, permanent break up and by the way, if she drastically cuts her hair, it is absolutely, positively over with no chance of resolution.

“A woman’s mind is like a tape recorder.” That’s how I usually start the explanation to whichever friend has had his woman leave him and he simply cannot grasp the situation. If you are female, please keep an open mind. I love women and think I’m onto something here that could create a lot of lasting relationships if the men figure out this concept. The following is the rest of the speech…

When you’re in a long-term relationship with a woman and you do something thoughtless or just plain wrong, she’ll forgive you. She loves you, or else she wouldn’t be in the relationship to begin with. The average male thinks that it’s great that she forgave him and takes that forgiveness as her condoning his behavior. She didn’t mind that much, he thinks, because she forgave him. That must make it OK to engage in that type of behavior. Quite the opposite is true, however.

She did forgive you. However, she did not forget. Nor should she. It is not OK to be a dick to your woman; it is not OK to take her for granted, neglect her, or abuse her. She is the most important thing in your life and should be treated as such, and vice-versa. She stores the event away in her tape-recording of the relationship that began when you got together. Eventually, if you rack up enough bad experiences for her, she’s going to stop the recording and leave you. The idea—if you want to preserve the relationship—is to not fill up the tape to such a point that she decides to sever ties.

When a woman has had enough and decides to terminate the relationship, then the guy usually thinks it’s time to change his ways. Unfortunately for him, the recorder is full. She has made up her mind and that’s that. Now, being armed with this information, there are also good things that can be added to the recording. When you buy her roses for no reason at all but to let her know she’s special to you, for instance. The good things do not outweigh the bad ones, but they’re an important part of the recording.

At this point, usually my friend looks back and sees all of the hurtful behaviors that he engaged in, and even though it hurts, he starts to let go. If I’ve been successful, he applies this knowledge in his future affairs and is a better person for it. Since almost everyone ultimately wants a significant other to spend their life with, we should all spend more time being a better companion. Imagine how much happier we’d all be as a result.