Taking my Zombie Mind on an Easter Egg Hunt

I live with my free mind, the one that is aware and free from adding judgment, and with my zombie mind, the one who wants to run from pain and fix everything all the time. This zombie mind of mine clings and resists. She is impatient and goal driven. She sees, though, that every time a goal is met it is replaced with another goal and with it more suffering until the goal is reached. This endless cycle of suffering has led me to the pursuit of healing my zombie mind. I want to help her let go and know the nirvana found in knowing this moment is enough. This action is good all by itself without any particular results.

I tell her, "I have good news, Zombie Mind! You are enough! You have arrived! Now you get to just live in awareness, following the cues life gives you and finding the miracles that wait for you around every corner. Don't shrink back! Embrace the constant changing nature of life and let your light shine!"

She looks at me with weary, watery eyes wanting so badly to believe me. "I'm so tired..." she says. "I want completion. I want rest." The pain she feels is immeasurable! It is wide and deep. It is long and wrought with stories of those who have misunderstood her and caused her so much pain. It is also, laced with self loathing and regret, wishing she had made better choices and caused so much less pain. She feels crushed under the weight of it all.

These days, when I see her this way, the tears streaking down my cheeks as she weeps, I love her so much more than I ever thought possible. How brave she is to still be here bearing the weight of all this suffering; even if it's so needless for her to bear it! She wants to be free and that is enough.

And freedom does wait for her in every moment. More and more often she is able to catch it, hold it in her warm hand like she's holding a snowflake and watch it melt away without clinging to the memory of it. She's learning that a new snowflake is waiting to drift down and she can choose to catch that one too. Or she can simply watch it drift to the ground gathering with other snowflakes or melting away however the conditions dictate. She is learning that she is the snowflake and the one who is watching the snowflake. She is the sky from where the snowflake fell and the ground that catches us all when we, like snowflakes fall.

To help her do this more I take her on 'Easter Egg Hunts'. When life feels yucky, I take her by the hand and say, "It's okay. It looks awful but remember all the Easter eggs we've found before? There are more here! I promise! Just breathe and let the yuck be yuck without being stuck in it. Let's wander here a bit and just open to all of it the way we've done so many times before. I'm curious what we will find this time!"

I'll be honest. Sometimes all we find in the yuck is more yuck but we're learning to hold space for whatever arises. And as I do these hunts with her I find there's almost always joy and something pleasant in even the yuckiest of life's moments; even if for just a fleeting second.

Easter Egg Hunt How To:

Step 1. Pick your moment. You can do this with any moment but I prefer to use this technique on an actual walk when possible.

Step 2. Be mindful of everything using all your senses and even noticing the judgments without clinging to them. For example, you see a dandelion and think it's a beautiful color but your neighbor really should tend to their lawn better. You can smile at that judgement and then just rest on the pleasant yellow of the flower leaving the 'thou shalt not judge your neighbor' judgement that might arise next to just be there. No further action needed.

Step 3. Give thanks for every expected and unexpected 'Easter Egg' you find. 'Thank you for the little yellow dandelions I see most every walk and thank you for the hawk that spontaneously flew so close by.'

Step 4. Jot down your finds in a little notebook or take a picture or two to reflect on later when the Easter eggs are proving difficult to find. (I don't usually do this one a lot, actually, but I have collected little treasures and display them on my prayer table to remind me that life is good.)

I hope this was helpful to you. Thank you for you kind attention! You have my deepest gratitude for taking the time to read my ramblings <3

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