how to
Whether you're lucky in love or still searching for your soulmate, learn how to be the best partner possible.
How to handle moments of conflict
I personally feel uncomfortable around conflict. - Now, we're here today to find out how to argue. - But conflict is useful. The question is, how do you deal with conflict the most effectively? Here we go. I am author of Negotiating the Nonnegotiable: How to Resolve Your Most Emotionally-Charged Conflicts. Have you found yourself in an argument that felt so frustrating, so at a core aggravating? - That's the silliest opinion I've ever heard. - It felt just nonnegotiable? Well, congratulations, you're a human being. We all experience conflict in our lives, and seeing what's going on in our world today, my hunch is you were probably having at least one of these conflicts about politics. Our country has fallen into what I believe is a tribal trap. Anything that that other side says, I shall not believe, I shall not give any credibility to, and I'm gonna do everything I can to prove I'm right, you're wrong, and to stifle you down to raise me up. The problem is not with the what, what are we arguing about, the problem is with the how. - How should we argue? - How can we be more effective? And what I've found is that there are three big barriers that we can actually overcome to have more effective conversations. The big things, one, identity, two, appreciation, and three, affiliation. Let's start with identity. - Now, first of all, this is a hot issue. - Why do we get so emotional in these conflict situations? It often goes back to something deeper: identity. What are the core values, the core beliefs that are feeling threatened inside of you as you're having that conversation with the other side? The moment your identity gets hooked in these conflicts, all of a sudden your emotions become Boy, this is a wholly different conflict now. It's now your pride. Your sense of self is on the line. You need to know who you are and what you stand for. What are the values and beliefs that are driving me to fight for this stance on this issue? The more you understand who you are, the more you can try to get your purpose met and stay balanced, even when the other threatens those core values and beliefs. Each side wants to feel appreciated, and yet the last thing they wanna do is to appreciate the other side. That's a problem. - Listen and understand. When you're in the midst of the conflict, don't talk. Take the first 10 minutes. Consciously listen to the other side. What's the value behind their perspective? What's the logic, the rationale? Why do they hold this perspective on immigration or healthcare? Once you truly understand and see the value in their perspective, let them know I hear where you're coming from, and you know what? That makes sense. There is nothing more in the world that we like than to feel appreciated. Recognize your power to appreciate them. Third, affiliation. What's the emotional connection like between you and the other side? We typically approach these conflict situations as me versus you. My opinion on healthcare versus yours, my party's perspectives on immigration versus yours. That's just gonna leave the two of you like rams butting heads. - Find common ground. - Turn that other person from an adversary into a partner, so it's no longer me versus you, but the two of us facing the same shared problem. Ask the other person, "Look, what's your advice "on how we can get as many of our interests met "at the same time?" Change the nature of your conversation. Now, you put these three things into practice, it can transform your relationships. Imagine what would happen if we started a revolution, but a positive revolution of greater understanding, greater appreciation, greater affiliation, how we could transform politics, how we could transform our country and ultimately our world. I believe it's possible, but it starts with each one of us.
By Christian Maduabuchi3 years ago in Humans
The "Key" To "Finding Real Love."
Hello you lovely human. Thanks for clicking on my article. Some of you are reading this because you're healing a heartache. Some of you are a little lonely. Some of you are here because you saw the title and wanted to come to scorch me for whatever bullshit I'm going to say. Or some of you are genuinely hoping for some kind of answer- a simple but kind of magical explanation for your love problems.
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This week, we’re diving deep into the Queen of Cups energy. Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and if we are smart enough, we can use this energy in a way that opens more opportunities than ever.
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A few things I forgot to mention.
On Monday, I published a piece about ballet, and being a ballerina. As usual, I took a few detours I wasn’t expecting and ended up giving more of a pep talk than I anticipated. So just another day, as far as I’m concerned. But there are two things that I should have elaborated on, and they’ve been nagging me ever since I hit “publish,” but by that time I felt like the piece was long enough, and I also didn’t want to go in and make any edits. I thought maybe the thoughts would go away, and you wouldn’t know the difference anyway. But they didn’t, so here you go. Today will be brief. Maybe. I think.
By Morgan Oliver3 years ago in Humans
Discover the secrets of instant personality reading- 16 Psychological insights
When encountering new individuals, we're inundated with a wealth of information, making it challenging to discern their character. Understanding the nuances of communication is crucial in such situations. Experts reveal that 55% of communication stems from body language, 38% from tone of voice, and a mere 7% from spoken words. Thus, decoding someone's personality necessitates considering these factors alongside their outward appearance. To gain insights into individuals upon initial interaction, pay heed to the following cues, starting from the top and moving downward.
By BENEDICT AKINGA3 years ago in Humans
Use Pepper Spray for Self-defense Safely!
Pepper spray is a chemical agent that can incapacitate people by causing involuntary muscle spasms and temporarily impairing vision, speech, and other senses. It is used primarily in self-defense or law enforcement, but can also be an animal repellant or used to create a hazardous area.
By Mai Sophia3 years ago in Humans
Read People Like a Book
Ever wished you could navigate social situations with the ease of a seasoned diplomat, or decipher the hidden intentions of someone across the table? The ability to "read people like a book" might seem like a superpower reserved for fictional characters, but the truth is, this skill lies dormant within all of us. By honing your awareness and understanding the subtle languages of human behavior, you can unlock this superpower and transform your interactions with confidence.
By Yousaf Mobeen3 years ago in Humans
