Divorce isn't an end; it's a different beginning.
An Open Letter to My Ex-Husband
When it comes to relationships, we stay with people for all kinds of reasons. Those with children say “stay together for the kids.” Some people stay together because they believe if they separate or divorce, their God will frown upon them. Some people stay out of fear, of their life, of other’s perception, of what could happen to them if they’re on their own. People stay and go for all kinds of reasons, but the reasons are usually so they can find a happier, better life.
Merbabe Makin' Waves
It's about to get real with this first post so I hope you're ready! "The Time Has Come." I Said... I've never been good at letting go; especially with people. Life is about change so we know that change is inevitable. Sometimes, change hurts. Let's bring a couple examples into the picture.
Life's a Beach...
I love the beach. There is something so amazingly calm about the feel of the sand between your toes and the sound of the water. Calm isn't something that I have honestly had much of in my life. I keep saying life is like a roller coaster full of ups and downs twists and turns. As much as everyone's roller coaster is different they are all the same.
It's in the Journey, Not the Destination
This is me, on one of the happiest days of my life. Actually, my happiest day in about three years. I was with one of my favorite humans, about an hour north of Steamboat Springs, CO standing on a mountain just before sunset. He took this picture. In this moment, that he caught so authentically, I was barely wearing any makeup, and I felt like the most beautiful, wonderful, amazing creature on the planet. I felt real. I felt seen.See this friend, he's not just any friend. He's the friend that after my divorce a year ago, I heard a song and thought of him. He's the friend that after I sent him that song, wrote back and became my friend again, even though we hadn't spoken in years. He's the friend that speaks my language of crazy and travel and joy, the exact same way. As he says, "Our souls mirror each other." So this moment, it was a big moment. Big feels. Real feels. And I was high. Cuz, you know—Colorado.
Divorce, in All Its Glory
I once read in Amy Poehler's autobiography the following quote: "Divorce is like laying everything you love out on a blanket, tossing it up in the air and not having a clue where everything will land".
Today I Folded the Towels "Wrong"
I've been folding towels one particular way for nearly 20 years. Not today. Today I folded them "wrong." It may seem ridiculous or arbitrary something as insignificant as the "right" way to fold a towel but for me, the method of towel folding was something that kept me safe.
Divorce Page Turners!
Anthea Turner published a book about surviving divorce and has been under scrutiny because of the interviews on the back of it. Back in 2014 I also published a book titled “The Divorce Toolbox- How to survive the courts, CAFCASS and Social Services while leading a normal life”. Two books about divorce written from the points of view of a celebrity and a non-celebrity. This clearly shows that regardless of someone’s status, whether they are a celebrity or not, divorce is a stressful process which comes with judgements and scrutiny.
When Relationships Become Too Complicated
My parents divorced when I was not even old enough for school. My father was very abusive and my mother finally found the way out. When I was a teenager my dad's actions hadn't changed much. One Christmas Eve when I was 13, my dad and I had gotten into it and he hit me, right across the face leaving me with a black eye for a week. I didn't see my dad again for 10 years.
I was thinking of this fabulous introduction into my life that would make me seem all strong, ambitious, courageous and fearless. Honestly, I am a 35, going to be 36 in about two months. A 35-year-old who is losing my home due to my ex-boyfriend being more financially stable than I am.
Why I Failed in Love
I have failed in love since I started dating in 8th grade. From one relationship to another, they seemed to get worse and worse, and I had absolutely no idea why. I remember asking myself, "Why is this happening to me?" "Is it me?" "What have I done to deserve this?" The answer to these questions was so simple, yet I couldn't see it. Yes, it was me. It was the way I presented myself and my actions that led me through many bumpy roads. But I didn't deserve it. And, after some much needed single time and self-reflection, I found that there was a legitimate reason that I was choosing the people and the path's that I was choosing.
Have you ever been having a good day only to come home and have your heart and soul shattered by four words? Have you ever felt the excruciating pain of feeling your heart disintegrate inside your chest? Trust me when I tell you, it is not a pleasant feeling. It does not feel good to come home from work and have your husband tell you he wants a divorce. The tidal wave of emotion that runs through you so hard and so fast that even your fingertips tingle. Like electricity is going to start sparking off of your digits.
An Autistic Romance
I am 31 years old. I am not who I thought I'd be and I'm most definitely not where I thought I'd be on the path of life. 11 years, 7 Months, and 21 days ago, I met the man of my dreams. I don't know that I would call it love at first sight because I don't believe in love at first sight. I never have. People have so much more depth than just what you see at first sight. I fall in love with souls and minds, not appearances. However, his appearance did help.