Surprise, I Am Gay

Picture this...

Nice cool November night in Arizona, just got off work from an exhaustively long shift at Chick-Fil-A in the mall. It's an election year and politics are everywhere. I am not much for politics and I definitely am not the type to stress about who the president of the United States of America will be, I wanted to vote for Harambe the gorilla. My partner at the time, however, did care. She cared to a level of pure stress on the subject.

To my surprise, I walk to my vehicle to see hers parked next to mine. I tap on the window and smile as she opens the door. I greet her happily then throw all my things in my car, so I can hug her properly. We stand there kind of getting lost in conversation, mostly me trying to reassure her that she is not going to get deported because of Trump. I joked about her height and how no one would think she got here illegally because there is no way she got over any size fence and how she is the whitest Mexican I know. This lightened the mood but distracted us both from how late it was getting. I was happy she was smiling again so I leaned in to make sure she stayed happy and kissed her with the full intention of keeping it short and sweet to say goodnight. She needed more than that and it became slightly heated. She is sitting in her car facing out with me standing between her legs, just getting a little lost in the moment.

So as we kiss I hear a noise and open my eyes to see a light being flashed at us. My brain is like $*** !***. I think, 'Oh crap mall security.' Then I think, 'Oh, what if it is some freak?' We are stupidly making out in the dark parking lot of a mall in not the best of neighborhoods. I am prepared to either apologize to security or beat a freak's @** but as I turn around my mind goes blank. Out of the things I was guessing I would have never in a million years thought I would turn around and see my dad standing there.

My brain hardly formed the words "Are you okay?" Who says that in this kind of situation? Obviously, this idiot.

He responds with a simple "No." I tell my partner I gotta go and that it was my dad. We leave. My dad tails me home and all I can think about is how much I don't want to deal with any of it. We arrive home and I play it off, I don't know what he saw so I asked my brother who had come with my father just what he saw.

My brother told me he knows and doesn't really care about that, more about how stupid I was to be kissing in a parking lot at night.

The next day my dad is making eggs and sausage and he asks me, "Oh hey you want some sausage? Oh wait, you don't like sausage. Maybe we should make some breakfast tacos." He is laughing, literally making jokes about it like it's nothing. I love my dad for this humor, it really eased a lot of my tension. Then he got serious and said I needed to tell my mom. He let me soak in the panic about telling her for a day before he insisted. He basically walked me like a toddler to my mother and told her I had something to say.

Here is a bit of backstory, I was raised Jack Mormon, meaning we didn't follow all the rules and definitely didn't go to church all the time but my parents wanted a certain life for me and being gay was definitely not a part of it. My aunt and cousin already came out to my mom and she took it as I expected, kind of good but kind of with a well maybe it's just a phase, maybe one day someone will change that.

I, on the other hand, was her daughter and I knew it would be different. I stood in front of her and couldn't speak, let alone look at her. I was crying and panicking as my dad held me in front of her. Part of me wanted to be mad at him for forcing me to do this. I wasn't ready, I couldn't think about how she might look at me differently or hate me. A bigger part of me was thankful he was being so supportive in his own way.

Lucky for me, I didn't have to come out at all she said it. She said, "She likes girls, is this about the girl she's been hanging out with so much? When did she tell you?" My dad informed her that it was true and that he had caught us. He proceeded to hug me and tell me things like "See, no one is yelling, we still love you." Really comforting things to hear, honestly, I had it pretty good. My mom agreed with him and to my surprise had the same reaction that maybe it will change. Which is way better than what I thought would happen.

My dad continues to joke even now that when I don't answer my phone I must be kissing girls even though I am single. I know some people don't have it easy. I thought I didn't until this happened. All that matters is you live for you. In the moments of this story I thought I was going to die but now looking back I can't help but laugh at the entire thing. Life is funny that way.

I am proud to be me to love whoever I want to love and I am not afraid to show it!

Happy almost pride month!

I am Queer and I am Here!