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Subconscious Choices

Do I trust myself?

By Denise WillisPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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When looking for the right person to be with through life, it is often a difficult and frustrating experience, especially considering our conscious mind is not really in control of what is going on.

So, how should we approach the topic, knowing the conscious mind is in the back seat? It isn't the conscious mind that is doing the picking, but the subconscious mind that is driving the bus. You only think you are responsible for your choices, but the subconscious has another agenda. Most likely, the subconscious is going to pick someone just like a parent or another person you have had issues with, and the subconscious thinks that they can resolve past issues by reliving the same situation with a similar person. Let's say your father was an alcoholic, just for the sake of discussion. The subconscious mind wants to find another alcoholic and make the story come out differently. Maybe they want to stand up to that person, or maybe they think this time it will be different.

So there you are, cruising along, thinking you are fully in charge of your own life, when deep down inside other issues are taking the forefront. You meet a guy who you really like, but he has a very bad temper, and your conscious mind sees this as a red flag, but then your subconscious kicks in and starts to chisel down the objections, until you find yourself making excuses for your newly found love, who had a bad day at work, is exhausted, or was justified in being angry.

The subconscious stores all the negative imprints life has exposed you to. It keeps all experiences, and is the source of emotions. Because it does that, many of your choices may be limited by a feeling you get and don't know why.

The conscious mind is the tip of the iceberg when it comes to responsibilities of the separate portions of the brain. The subconscious is the connection between the unconscious and conscious mind. It is the largest portion of consciousness, and is in control for the most part. Our dreams come from our subconscious, that has vast amounts of information stored to work with.

So, how do we get past the imprinted warnings in the subconscious that makes us back up from certain situations or people, or make us choose unwisely? The best way is through meditation, focusing on the subconscious through the conscious mind. We can also try to be more aware of where certain emotions are really coming from, and why certain ideas come to us out of nowhere. Another way is through repetition, repeating the same phrase or affirmation every morning when you get up and when you go to bed. In time, it will become embedded in your mind.

When applying this to finding someone to share your life with, I found the best way is to sit down and figure out what we truly want in another person, what is important to us, and what we won't tolerate. I've even made checklists to see if the person is close to the person I want to be with. For example, humor is important to me, so I wouldn't do well with a stone faced grump. If we find ourselves in a position of wondering if someone is right or not, go back to the list and see if they measure up. Don't make excuses for them. Just look at it in the bright reality of day and decide logically if where you are is where you want to be. If not, then walk away and know that when all the initial attraction is gone, there was never anything there to begin with.

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About the Creator

Denise Willis

I love art as much as writing, and when the world feels dark, I get out my paper and colored pencils and draw while listening to music. When my husband and I were going through a divorce, journaling is what got me through that..

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