Stop Deifying the People Defending Ukraine and Their Freedom

“They are so brave! So valiant! I could never fight like that!”

Maybe that’s true; but if you couldn’t leave the country you would either hide, fight, or die. The grandmothers making Molotov cocktails, teens monitoring Telegram and WhatsApp asking and offering help in a war where social media can both instantly connect or go horribly silent.

“Their President is so inspiring; he could have left the country but he and his family stayed so he could fight!”

He stayed behind for a lot of reasons. At least one of those reasons was to help build the courage and confidence of the men between 18 and 60 that are forbidden to leave the country. The only men in that age bracket permitted to leave are those with three or more children or those with medical issues. I don’t know if bone spurs are a big enough medical issue to count as a way to avoid fighting this war.

He is actively weaving the hero image and myth to keep their eyes on him and show that it is possible to persevere. He is inspiring. He is smart (sending a message to the Russian people, in Russian, telling them not to believe the lies they were hearing about the reasons for the invasion.

Did you know that the Ukrainian President, Volodymyr Zelensky, used to be an actor and comedian? That he once played a high school teacher that accidentally becomes the President of the Ukraine? That he won the 2006 Ukrainian version of Dancing With the Stars? It is as if Robin Williams or Jeff Goldblum got the role of a lifetime. He is a normal man under extraordinary pressure: but don’t you dare deify him!

“I saw the Ukrainian women recognized on International Women’s Day for their bravery! They’re like Amazons!”

They are not Amazons. They are Vice-Presidents and CEOs. They are nurses, bus drivers, cashiers, grandmothers, and aunties. They are HR representatives, teachers, reporters, customer service reps, gardeners.

The theme for 2022 International Woman’s Day is “Gender equality today for a sustainable tomorrow.” These women are fighting for their tomorrow, their freedom, their lives- one day at a time.

“Did you see the story about that brave 11 year old boy? He travelled 700 miles on his own to get to Slovakia and his relatives! Such courage; how smart he must be.”

His mother had to make a heartbreaking decision: leave her invalid mother alone to die, or send her son away with a phone number written with a sharpie on his hand. She is the head of the house, a widow supporting the three of them. She, like Moses’ mother, set her son out in the world and trusted the kindness of those around him to see him to safety.

We needed something to marvel over, something to trumpet with gladness: so this young boy travelled like Harry Potter on a train, into hoped-for safety and a new life. I see sorrow, sadness, and uncertainty or ever reuniting.

Am I Saying They are Not Brave?

No.

No I would never say that.

I am saying that they are people, regular people, like me. Like you. Like your neighbor. Like your funky aunt Joannie. Like your dyslexic uncle Phil. Like your daughter’s third grade teacher.

These are people that live a life much like yours. They had jobs, homes, mortgages, went on vacations, got Covid-19, fought with their in-laws, planted gardens.

And their lives have been horribly, terribly, brutally torn across that fabric of normalcy and they are making astounding choices with the eyes of the world watching.

But this is not the Colosseum. They are not gladiators fighting to numb and enthrall the masses.

This is not a television series where we are introduced to the plucky 11 year old boy and just know we will see him emerge again in Season 2 and be reunited with his mama and suddenly-recovered grandmother.

These aren’t mythical warrior men and women, protected from harm with dragon-scaled armor and bright ribbons tied like magic charms to ward off plague.

You can pop some double-butter popcorn, get a nice blue and yellow flag from the dollar store to fly from a stake in the ground by your mailbox, and tune in to watch the latest episode of The World has Gone Mad, and War is Happening to Someone Else.” You can distance yourself from their horrific reality by making them something they are not. DON'T deny them their humanity.

You can marvel at them. You can rejoice at the human spirit shining under pressure. You can pray for them. You can donate to help them. You can stop posting social media pics of high gas prices (we know. we all see it. move on.) You can stop yourself from denigrating the Russian people, and for the love of all that is good and pure: DON’T turn against your Russian neighbors and shop owners!

But, almost above all of that: see them as who and what they are. Not actors. Not holier than thou. Not deities or Winter Soldiers. Don’t hold them away from your heart by building them into someone they are not. Don’t deny their humanity.

They are people. Brutalized. Fleeing. Fighting. Dying.

See the truth is all of its terrible and brutal honesty.

Recognize that. Honor that.