Stellma Red

"Why did I even think this was a sound decision?" "Am I really nervous?" Ferra considering while she stares into her half-empty glass of Stellma 2013 Merlot. Not realizing as she goes to take an enormous gulp, she securely grips the stem of her glass. "Relax ... it's a blind date that your so eager friends decided to unexpectedly talk your stupid ass into." Ferra sighs while speaking subtly to herself. She feels a buzz coming from her pocket. Eagerly, she checks her phone, hoping for the worst. "A YouTube notification and three new emails," she says to herself as she sullenly places her phone back in her dress pocket. She starts to check her clothes for lint, fixing her brown tan booties, making sure the lace of her white socks shows, and adjusting the three clips holding her side part in place. She looks to check herself in her front-facing camera on her phone. She glares over, watching every two or three people who enter the door that leads to the restaurant's terrace where she's located. Ferra cups her chin underneath her hand and leans against the table. "Is it pretentious to even look over the menu to know that I am really just familiar with two items to then wait till my date gets here to then pretend to not know what the hell I'm going to order?"

Ferra thinks to herself. This time, you know what, let's not play it so innocuous; I just want to enjoy my night and loosen up. This was one of the many first dates Ferra has been on since experiencing marriage and divorce at the young age of 22 and numerous failed relationships. Ferra looks over at her phone again as if wanting to seem aloof and coy. "I wonder who comes to this restaurant by themselves... ugh Ferra, stop psyching yourself out! please, maybe this one is different, or maybe I'm really just gonna kill time to finish this bottle and call a Lyft home." "I mean, I'm pretty deep into the second season of Girlfriends... Talenti and Girlfriends that sounds like a night to remember" While thinking to herself, Ferra sighs with such defeat.

Ferra's phone begins to ring, and she notices it is her date that is calling. "Hey beautiful sorry for running late, where are you? I cant see you." Ferra shifts in her seat, and eager, turns her neck to look around. "No, no, it's no problem," Ferra slightly giggles. "I got us a table in the back on the terrace." Ferra's heart begins to pick up in pace. "I don't see any Terrace, wait are you sure this is the place? Rose Maries off of West Crescent Street and Abernathy, right?" Ferra answers back, slightly irritated " No, it's Aceline Marie; I texted you the address, well I texted Cathy the address she was supp.." Before Ferra could finish her date placed her hand on her shoulder as if gently relieving Ferra of her Stress.

"OOOh, you scared me!" "Sorry I had to; Cathy told me you were a bit of a worrywart. You look amazing." Ferra rolls her eyes and slightly chuckles. "Deane, right?" "I am not really a worrywart, just a prepared planner of sorts," Ferra says, and she smirks and crosses her legs. Deanne goes to sit down and slightly chuckles to herself. "I hope you're okay with leaving in like 30 minutes. This is a fantastic restaurant, but I'd love to actually surprise you if that is okay. Ferra looking confused and slightly uncomfortable. She furrows her eyebrow. Deanne calls over the waiter to receive the check. Ferra, unsure and stifled, eyes jolting around. Ferra quickly perks up and uncrosses her legs. "Deanne, we didn't order yet; what are you do...." Deanne looks over at Ferra and slightly smirks. "Are you that used to having everything work in your favor?" With now flushed cheeks, Ferra looks back mockingly. Ferra looks at Deanne, assessing Deanne from shoe to the nape of her neck. "how can someone send me into a frenzy, give me butterflies, and I not even know this person longer than 12 minutes. Wait, I think this is a red flag, wait am I triggered, or am I triggering myself? I'm having a mild panic attack."

Deanne grabs the check and places her card on the booklet. "She is so different and fascinating. I already feel safe with her, and I know that is weird; however, I like the feeling I get when I am around her." Ferra thinks to herself. "Okay, even if this is not normal and rushed, but I planned something else for us. Are you ready to go?" Ferra looks at Deanne with a very timid look but nods quickly. Deanne grabs the bottle from the table in one hand, and in the other hand, holds Ferra's hand and leads her around the corner of the restaurant. Ferra and Deanne approach a tan van with darkly tinted windows. Ferra's eager expression falls from her face as Deanne releases her hand to get her keys from her pocket. "What is this?" Ferra immediately questions. "I know this looks so off, but if you peak through the tinted window in the back, you should see string lights and some other things; plus, I sent Cathy my ping for the rest of the day, so even if you feel even close to uncomfortable she knows where I am you are, and you have all right to leave." Ferra hesitantly nods.

"I can't really see too much in there, but hmm, I am not sure this could be a plot to have me trafficked, but she Cathy knows our location. Knowing my friend is overseeing my date makes me feel like I cannot even date like I need a chaperone. I can't blame Cathy; she is concerned and wants me safe I get it, but .... sheesh." Deanne opens the passenger door for Ferra, then walks around to get in the front seat. Deanne starts the car and begins leaving the restaurant; while driving, Ferra and Deanne fall silent. "Do you feel safe?" Deanne asks Ferra in a concerned and questioning way. Ferra hesitates to answer. "Somewhat, I mean, I barely know you, but I feel like you're not threatening to my life right now" "I wanted to ask; there's so much tension in here, and I wanted to break the silence." Deanne retorted. Ferra looks out of the passenger window. " I am used to being quiet in car rides; as a kid, it was distracting to my father when we were on road trips and my husband...ex thought conversations were obnoxious while on the road or traveling. He would just turn on equally obnoxious music and drown everything out around him, including me, sitting next to him." Deanne glanced over at Ferra, almost as if lamenting on Ferra's words. "I'm sorry, fuck him, and to continue our break in silence, I want to tell you three things I feel only because I like you, of course. I feel very strongly about you; I feel nervous that I'm going to say the wrong things, and I am so scared. I know we're in this van, and it's awkward now, and I know we're both trying to figure this dating thing out, but I am scared I might mess it up. I am not a vulnerable person, I don't let people in, but I felt my heart loosen up and jump for the first time in years when I saw you. Ferra, you're so beautiful and kind-hearted, I can tell.

"Deanne chuckles. Ferra quickly turns her head to face Deanne, shocked at how open Deanne was to speak. "She's so... I feel so... I feel like I needed this. I needed to hear this." I wanted verbal intimacy for so long, and I am scared too, and I have never been so flustered in my entire life." Ferra thinks to herself. " I'm scared too, not scared enough to prank someone at a restaurant who has anxiety and making them think they were at the wrong restaurant, but I am enjoying you and your vulnerability. Ferra watches Deanne's expression for a while, forming from a smirk to a warm-hearted look. "She called me beautiful; has she not seen her? she is so damn majestic and stoic and bold in her fashion sense down to her layering and piercings, and can we mention the damn high cheekbones and small smiling eyes. She is androgynous. She is gorgeous with such a strength to her, but her smile, lord, her smile makes me want to smile too for no reason; her lips look soft and generous. I want to steal a kiss." Ferra muses to herself. "We're here" Deanne looks over at Ferra, noticing her stare at her. Deanne shares Ferra's glance then gets out of the vehicle. Deane trots to the passenger side and lets Ferra out. Deanne takes Ferra's hand and leads her to the back of the van, which is facing a high peak. "Wow, I can see Aceline Marie from here" Ferra's head follows Deanne's movements. "How many women have you taken here, huh?" Ferra says with a coy attitude. "Just you, I've been wanting to come here by myself but never found the time actually.

"Deanne says while unfolding blankets and placing them on the polished carpeted floor of the van's back seat. Deanne holds out her hand to allow Ferra to get in the back. Ferra climbs into the back and immediately notices hints of vanilla bean and scents of lavender in the air. She peers over to run her hands across the string lights and then rubs the fluffy blanket underneath her. Deanne enters the back of the van and begins setting up her computer. "If I didn't feel secure, I definitely do now" Deanne glances up at Ferra and smirks. Deanne leans over to the second seat and takes out snacks, chocolates, and kettle-cooked popcorn. Deanne lays the snack by the laptop, closest to the van's doors, and lays back; Ferra snuggles close to Deanne. After sharing smores, downing the entire bottle of Merlot, laughing, yelling, and crying at three movies, Ferra sits up. Deanne looks at Ferra, concerned. "I am a little tipsy, but I want you to know something; I just wanted to really thank you for this night. I appreciate you. I put my phone on do not disturb. I want you to know.. I want you to know that I want to deal with you in a capacity to that no one else gets to deal with you; I want you to know that I do have the capacity to be vulnerable, hold space, and listen to you as long as you hold space for me and are vulnerable with me." Ferra hick-ups.

"I want to be unconditional with you, I want you to know that I will never shut you out on your dark days, I want to be your light peace, I want you to know I will always appreciate your boundaries, and I want to make your days bright." Bright like Sarah smiling at john at the end of to the wells of Antonia," Deanne sits up and, with glassy eyes, stares at Ferra. Deanne grasps Ferra's nape pulling her in close.