Steam Roller Rolling

I was attending this concert with this girl that I met on a Tuesday night at an eclectic coffee shop located right in the middle of downtown. She was dancing and jerking her body around trying to impress every guy and every girl, that like girls, in that hot, moldy, congested, sweaty-smelling environment. The music had everyone going, creating a thick atmosphere that was filled with odor and human mist.

Someone turn on the AC damn it!

It was a small venue, but damn!

I sat there looking up at her as I felt this strong desire to have a good time with her, but she just kept flirting with her eyes and her smiles directed at everything with eyes and smiles looking at her. That place was a hot mess full of horny people. Yes, there were drugs involved to heighten the experience, but my focus was on her.

Can you believe I met this girl at a place filled with people that try really hard to look like intellectuals and pump their veins with caffeine, cane sugar, and healthy teas from Malaysia? Yes, douchy places do attract good looking women, and I might be a douche for hanging out at places like that strictly to meet women. During those times, I needed a woman ‘cause it was a nice minute since I felt one, so I douched it up and went to an eclectic coffee shop to meet one. In fact, I think the name of the place had the word eclectic. Weird, right? Maybe not ‘cause that is a douchy word for a douchy spot for douchy-ass people. Yes, it was straight-up douchery, but it worked out for me. I met a hot woman that eventually lead to a date. Now, I needed to make the next move.

I stood next to her, while she danced like a flirting, teasing goddess. I was like a rock that could not move a muscle. I was caught in a moment in which my brain could not come up with a move to get this girl to the next step. What is that called, second base? Whatever base, I just needed to get to the next one! I was frozen, and it felt like a steam roller was approaching, getting ready to flatten my body into a popped sack of blood. For the sake of me, I just could not move as this giant steam roller was nearing!

The gargantuan question rolled in my head and wanted to act on it, but I couldn’t because I kept thinking it could be a waste of time. Maybe, I just got caught in this stuttering moment and was going to coward out.

Maybe not! I really hoped not!

I sat there admiring her beauty and the way she swayed. She was a magnificent human on how she handled herself. The whole douchy thing as far as where she likes to hang out, all went away. Her beauty really came out and it glimmered throughout that stinky venue. She really knew how to make that music sound really good by the way she moved. She was Venus and I wanted to be Mars really bad. I wanted to make her feel my red glow, my mojo. Instead, I had a brain fart and could not come up with the next thing.

What should I say?

What should I do?

Please, come up with something!

The steam roller is slowly moving but it is coming quick. It’s gonna break every bone in my body. I needed to do something. I had to fire all of my ammo!

What’s next!

She kept moving like the goddess she was. She was swaying her hips and being the hippest at the scene full of smelly, free souls.

The steam roller was finally next to me, and I had to make my move.

I put my hand around her waist.

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By Bazooka Teaches