Staying Faithful

My girl Tori. Greatest thing ever to happen to me. But it wasn't always like that for us.

Tori and I met back in high school. When I first met her, I wasn't immediately smitten, I'll be honest.

In fact, someone else told me that she was interested in me, and I looked at her and told him, "She looks like a Gothic Vampire slut. No way!"

Well, let's just say she found out I said that, and my nose hurt afterwards. I told everybody I ran into a door. 😂

Months passed, and I decided to give it a shot. Why not? She was adorably into me, and I was in need of something like that.

We had a bit of fun together, but I dumped her because I just didn't think she was the one for me.

If only I knew then what I know now. I might have never had my two children. A son who was given up for adoption when he was born (to the best possible family anyone could ever ask for, if I might add), and a daughter who lives with her momma. I love them both, but I never wanted to be that kind of father...

Well, during my days in college, she and I got back to talking, and I realized that she was still in love with me. And I realized that I began to develop feelings for her.

Eventually, I told her that if she was going to keep pursuing me, it would have to be official. We had to get married.

And that was the moment we became true lovers. In every sense of the word.

I began to see just how perfect she was for me. And she knew it.

Until we had to break it off. I was still in college, miles away from her, and it became too much for her to handle. She fell for one of her... fun bunnies.

We made a pact that while I was away, we were free to date and satiate our lustful habits. So long as she's mine and I'm hers anytime I'm with her.

Unfortunately, that proved to be my downfall, and I admit that.

We chose to go our separate ways, and I dated others, and she dated others. For a short time, I could not forgive her for leaving me.

Then I moved to Wilmington, and we got back in touch. Afterwards, my daughter was conceived and born. Neither the mother nor I knew that she was pregnant until months after I left, or I might never have.

Tori and I fell in love with each other all over again. Only this time, nothing would part us.

Not the miles apart. Not the complications of dating while away. Not the lack of coming home. None of that.

Communication is key to any successful relationship. And loyalty means everything to each other.

In conclusion, when it comes to finding true love, always remember that it is real. Disbelief in that causes unfaithfulness.

And if anything changes, talk it out. Don't go pursuing someone else while you're with them. Talk to them about your issues.

Nothing ever gets better if you don't tell them why you are having issues, or that you even are having issues.

And if distance becomes an issue, just remember that we live in the 21st century. Video chat as often as possible with your love. Show them how amazing you believe they are, and how you never stop thinking about them.

Buying gifts is great and all, but it doesn't solve the problem. And it doesn't always mean forgiveness is inevitable. You have to rely on more than just money to show them you care.

Every chance you get, show them how much you care. Take them to a park, and make them a lunch. Making food is great for this, because it shows you're willing to put forth effort into the relationship.

If you get the chance to spend the day with them, do. Play video games. Watch a show both of you can be interested in.

It's great to be all, "Wait, you haven't seen that? Okay, we're watching it."

But also be willing to say, "Is this a show/movie you love? Then I have to watch it. Because I want to love everything that you love."

Things like that mean a lot.

And that goes further than media. If you have something you're passionate about, show them why it means so much to you.

Say you're writing a book. Make sure they read it, or better yet, read it to them.

If they have a kid, fall in love with the kid. Take the kid(s) out to the park. Spend time with them. Because you aren't just falling in love with your spouse. Nobody likes a step-dad or step-mom who can't stand being around the kids.

Never be afraid of showing your true self. Anger is one thing, but also important.

I tell everyone that I am blessed. My mom and dad have been happily married since 1982 and are still going strong.

Neither has ever cheated, and both have gotten into very heated arguments.

But no matter what, my dad has never once beaten my mom. Yelled at her, sure. She yelled at him, sure.

But I always remember what they told me is the secret: at those times, ask yourself, "Is this worth throwing away everything we have built, everything we've been through? Is this worth destroying our marriage?"

Nine out of ten times, the answer is no.

My folks are the perfect example of how true love exists. My love and I are great examples of how true love exists.

So, never think for a second that it does not exist. It is possible. It is doable. And you can achieve it. Just believe in it.