Stay together if you want to keep the relationship healthy ... It doesn't matter if the joint family is breaking up but find an alternative to the love and warmth of the joint family
Life is not always a party. There is competition. There is stress, there is show, there is comparison and there is inflammation caused by it. In such circumstances the man living in the nucleus quickly gets frustrated. It breaks from the inside before it breaks from the outside. This does not happen in cohabiting families. People in the family lived as a team.
This is a fact made in Ahmedabad. The daughter of a family came to college. Meeting new friends in college, this girl with an introverted personality became anxious to become modern. Her thoughts, behavior, and attire began to change. The daughter, who was about to drop out of school and return home, now started coming home late. Friends' birthday parties were held at the hotel, late, so he had to stay. Sometimes friends even go to a nearby place for a day picnic.
Suddenly the girl began to feel sad. Her father was in the marketing department at a large company. They have to do a lot of touring. If the less educated mother could not catch her daughter's sadness then how can she catch the reason? However, another person living in the same house noticed that the sisters were in great distress. That person is the grandmother. The grandmother of her second son who lived there had come to live here for a while. They realized that the daughter was in a dilemma. He came up with an idea instead of asking his daughter directly. They took their daughter with them to the vegetable market on the first day. Taken to the temple the next day. On the third day, the granddaughter told the grandmother in front of her that I have something to tell you.
Grandma knew that something was wrong with her. He said, 'Son, ask what you have to ask.' The daughter started talking. She has a friendship with a young man. There is something special about friendship. After a year and a half of friendship, the young man now says that we should stay in a hotel for one day. The young lady does not say that it is all after marriage. The young man says that times have changed. Now all this has become very common. Now no one sees the old rules. The young man forces the girl to come to the hotel, citing other friends in his group.
Due to her insistence, the girl once said yes but at the last minute she did not go to college. Again the young man has fallen behind him. Saying we are about to get married, then what are you worried about? But the daughter's mind does not believe. He is not ready to go to the hotel with the young man. On the other hand, she is also afraid that the young man may end her relationship with her. It is not easy for a young woman to bear that. The young lady is very confused. Asked by a close friend, he advised the young man to obey. The young woman does not like to accept that advice.
Grandmother listened to the whole thing very quietly. The granddaughter asked for some time to think about the matter. The next day, when there was no one else in the house except the granddaughter and the grandmother, the grandmother gave her opinion, 'Son, if you love the boy and the boy also loves you, then you should not mind doing what he says.' The granddaughter was very surprised to hear such a clear opinion of the grandmother. He expected an answer that you would not listen to. He immediately asked, 'So I go to the hotel with him, eh?'
Grandma said nicely, 'I said that if the boy really loves you, you shouldn't mind doing what he says. Now the question is, does he really love you? ' The granddaughter says, 'I believe he truly loves me.' Grandma Hussein says, 'Son, if there was a tool in the market to measure love, we would immediately measure how much and how much love the other person loves. The problem is that there is no such thing as a measure. ' The granddaughter became more confused, 'Grandma, I can say that she can't live without me.'
Grandma says, 'Son, in this world, no one can live without someone. If he truly loves you, he will continue to love you in any situation. He pushes you to the hotel, which means he's more interested in your body than you are. Son, our body and heart are precious, no matter what. There is a subtle difference between love and physical attraction! Son, you have to learn to recognize that difference. '
The grandmother talked to her granddaughter about how her true love had married her after her grandfather had waited three years for her marriage to convince her family of her true love. In that half-hour discussion, the granddaughter found both guidance and guidance. When he told the young man not to go to the hotel for sure, the annoyed young man gradually cut off his relationship with him. Not only was there love, but the attraction also melted away. The girl realized. In fact, he was fond of seducing girls by pretending to be a lovely young man. A young woman who was deceived by that young man tried to commit suicide, she barely survived. The granddaughter also survived with the timely advice of the grandmother.
The story ends here but it starts with what we are talking about. It is a matter of understanding the trends in the minds of the children. To take care of him and give him proper guidance when needed.
Grandma played that role in the case we saw. Even mom or dad can do that. It happens naturally in a joint family. Gradually the joint families broke up. There is no prejudice that must be sustained (and such prejudice does not exist) but the only question is that we have failed to provide an alternative to the love and understanding that children receive in a joint family. Grandparents, great-grandparents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins and sisters. Where is the alternative to all this warmth? Life is sun-shade. When the sun came up, the whole house was standing in such a way that there was shade everywhere. Life is full of ups and downs. Other members of the household stood as shields during the fall. Life is unpredictable and unpredictable. When an unforeseen calamity befalls, the support of the family would turn the calamity into a small calamity.
Love and warmth are the two wheels of a joint family chariot. Former President of India APJ Abdul Kalam says the most important thing that India needs to preserve is the joint family practice. It's like thinking. It also contains facts. However, the tide of change is flowing so fast that we cannot save as much as we expected. There are many advantages and some disadvantages to having a joint family. Mooksevak Ravi Shankar Maharaj says that the culture of the city is the culture of gathering and the culture of the villages is the culture of living together. It would be more true when he said this, it is true even today but now the personalities of the city and the village are mingling. The people of the villages are flocking to the city and the villages themselves are holding on to the stubbornness of becoming a city. One thing out of a hundred is not to be together and to gather all together.
Khatl's big flaw is that you don't always get a party in life. There is competition, there is stress, there is show, there is comparison and there is inflammation caused by it. In such circumstances the man living in the nucleus quickly gets frustrated. It breaks from the inside before it breaks from the outside. This does not happen in cohabiting families. People in the family lived as a team. If one player sometimes performs poorly, he will handle the other.
Another big thing to think about. Our society is witnessing two changes together. Modernization and development have reduced one-sided cohabitation, broken families and at the same time introduced communication technology. Technology is coming at every stage of time but computer, internet, mobile phone, various apps ... all these have especially affected the new generation, teenagers and youth. His mind is overwhelmed. Their emotions are being hurt because of technology. New trends of love and sex, success and fame, success and failure are constantly touching their minds. Depression and depression, suicides and homicides are also on the rise. Psychiatrists will treat it. Do we have a role as parents, as parents? Should we have a ball?
This is not to say that joint families should remain intact and that the system should be revived. That is not even possible. Works from time to time. In today's environment, joint families cannot survive. The basic premise is that family members need to be loved enough. They should be warm when needed. We should set up such a system. Dr. who went to England to study medical from Ahmedabad in 1971. Ashokbhai Shah was told by one of his professors that the joint family practice in India is not a social practice but an economic practice. As poverty decreases and people become happier, this practice will loosen and break.
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