Soul ties or Soul lies

Growing up I was never the kid that longed for friends. I simply attended school and went with the flow of things. But yet I was never alone. Growing up the kids would flock to me because they considered me to be funny and friendly. Interestingly enough I found myself to be funny but it took me well into adult hood to really discover that about myself. Funny? Okay so if I make this little stupid joke, you'll laugh and want to be my friend? Is this how this works? Sadly enough that seemed to be the system so I never went without friends. Did I have many friends? Well, see that depended on the grade really. In middle school that transition from 5th grade to 6th grade really was a brutal reality check. At this point in my life I thought I had everything figured out, but everything I thought I knew was slowly beginning to unravel. People I once called my friend whom Id known for years suddenly became distant. People spread rumors about me, people lied on me to other friends. So my idea of what a friend looked like warped so extremely that when I met my bestfriend I vowed to not make anymore friends. When I met my bestfriend we were both in 6th grade and had two classes together, orchestra, and math. We often saw each other and smiled and waved, I knew her nothing more but as a familiar stranger. Always seeing each other around but merely engaging in short conversation seemed to fit well for us. It wasn't until the 7th grade when everything seemed to drastically change. The short conversations turned into novels about our lives and the people we were becoming. I remember thinking to myself at such a young age then, "damn I've never had a friend like this". As cliché as it sounds, I had truly felt like I met a soulmate without truly knowing what that meant at the time. Over the years I had thought that maybe I was to friendly and that, maybe that's the reason I'm attracting all these back stabbing people? But when I met my bestfriend she taught me what it truly meant to be organically myself. And she always loved me for simply being me, and always stood by me no matter what I seemed to be going through. I had never in my life met anyone that cared about me this much besides my family. And then 8th grade year came...we were both wanting to do different things with our lives and that meant different high schools. So before I graduated from my middle school I vowed to myself that I wasn't going to make anymore friends in high school. I had reached a point in my life where I had lost many "bestfriends" so I was fed up with the idea of doing it all over again, plus I knew I had met my friend for life already so I was convinced that I was all set and ready to learn, graduate, and reunite with my bestfriend. But of course that was not at all how that played out. When I got to high school it was a completely different world there. It seemed like 85% of the school knew each other already because they had all come from middle school together. Which made me even sadder to be there without my friend. But I didn't let that get in the way of my goals. This time around almost the same exact thing happened like throughout all of my years of school, people just flocked to me whether I wanted them to or not. I viewed this as a blessing and a curse, because realistically I'm a people person and I like getting to know people, but at the same time I was tired of being let down and betrayed so I became really iffy with the idea of meeting new people. But inevitably I made several friends my freshmen year and they didn't stop there. By the time I graduated I had met 4 solid bestfriends. Now I know you're probably thinking okay that isn't a lot of people and what happened to my bestfriend. But the way this all worked out is that 3/4 of these people I met were apart of that 85% I mentioned. They knew each other previously in middle school and I met the three of them separately and when they found out that they all knew me, we all collectively became bestfriends. As for the other friend, fate was completely involved with our friendship, this friend wasn't apart of that percentage but we just so happened to cross paths and the rest was history. As for my first bestfriend I introduced her to all of the friends I had met and she grew to love them as much as I did. And now fast forward were all bestfriends currently in 2021, I attend college with two of them and one is visiting us from Las Vegas. Were all in different phases of our life but we try and make it work. Next year I will be celebrating ten years of friendship with my first bestfriend, my longest friendship ever. As I reflect over the years and still continue to meet new people I value the bonds and memories I've created with these people in my life. I'm grateful to call them my friends and call on them whenever I need help. Together we've conquered so much, but our journey doesn't end here. I cant wait to see what the world has to offer each and every one of us, all I know is that nothing is breaking our iconic six, were forever solid, and I know I've found lifelong friends just for me.