SLEEPLESS AT WARD 20

Sleeping Little Angel is the simple picture of us in our dreams. Our brain put the body a rest while repairing and upgrading the other functions of our human organs. Medically it is the time we do not remember anything at the first phase of it then the second stage everything fetched from the old memory is revised and dreams are created related to those events. We always take normal things in life for granted e.g. eating, walking, talking and sleeping until things go wrong. We suddenly realise life gifts to our body should not be taken for granted. When a night of good sleep happens mind and body together work to relax, refresh, meditate and rest. If sleep deprivation occurs may cause major health problems. A severe case is called Insomnia. One can not sleep properly stays awake. The solution relies not upon improving the hormone balance in our body by chemical adjustments also on physically improving the bed, mattress, room design environment etc., Under normal circumstances, the night is a period of the day we sleep and give chance to the brain to process daily information, relax nerves, muscles are sort of paralysed and we are in darkness till we ideally wake up 7/8 hours later. I am one of the lucky ones not to have a sleep problem. My problem with sleeping occurred when I spent a period of time in hospital to recover from an operation of the oesophagus.

I am sitting on my hospital bed at ward 20 wandering about the state of my health after eleven days in the intensive care unit following fourteen hours of surgery. That fourteen hours were the blank memory of the near-dead experience as I was put in asleep by a general anaesthetic. One big black hole in my life. After the trauma of surgery, I had been living like a zombie with the morphine that had been given to make me painless but at the same time, I was a brainless human at the ICU unit. Now slowly my body had gained its routine functions trying to understand the experience I had been through while recovery unit at ward 20.

Ward 20 is a general one with around sixteen patients. Across the room, beds are facing each other hence the patients. I was wondering whether we all had the same illness. In my case, a special hospital bed was put in a high back position with additional four pillows supporting my sitting as I could not lie down. It is a position day and night I had to be in to make sure tubes, wiring, medication pouches were not tangled also my stomach was reduced to a minimum and fluid could run back to my mouth. New life to get used to it.

It was a very bland room reminding me of my boarding school days. Huge large windows on my side of the wall without curtains. Grey coloured walls, usual beds and little bedside cupboards and a chair next to each bed. Ceilings with fluorescent lights provide bright artificial light to tire out your eyes. Privacy is our curtains. Only they are pulled around the rail when doctors or nurses treat you kind of secrecy. The only thing I am thankful for is the removable TV screen above my bed and the remote to keep me busy.

Sleep is one of the automatic timely body functions carried out by the brain to give us a rest physically and mentally during a certain time of the day or night. It is the usual normal sequence of it but not applicable in my state of health. I have a few problems. Major one continues coughing day and night. I found out later that the medication given was the cause of it was to keep the lungs performing. I am also using an oxygen machine to stabilise my breathing as I am short of breath. On top of that, I am still under narcotic treatment which is causing me to have illusions. Simply I am restless. It is kind of my days and nights are confused. Nightmares are the countless happenings starting at night time. Lights are switched off promptly at 21.00 hours. The only thing I can do is watch TV. Some other patients are doing the same as flickering lights on a few other beds. My coughing continues and need of oxygen machine. I can't go to sleep. A few hours later in the evening my body and eyes get really tired. The rest of the patients in the ward had gone to sleep as only my TV lights is on. I am on and off the sleep mode. At five o'clock a.m nurse shook you up to give your first medicine of the day. Following that bright light shines through the window announcing the new starting of the day. I want to scream I can't sleep although dying for it. Daily procedures start at 07.00 with breakfast served, then cleaners come in, another tea/coffee time. 10.00 am everybody is on edge and toes. It is the Doctor's visit time. We all got a different doctor and their student group of medics. By the time checks are finished, it is lunchtime. By then I am really tired just want to go to sleep but it's not possible 'visiting hours' till 8 o'clock and dinner. It is a schedule to kill you rather than treat you to heal.

What went on during that time was my realisation of 'SLEEPING'. Psychologically, I was frightened of going to sleep. I was making excuses to stay awake. When slowly my health was getting back to normal realisation was I had a lost time, I assumed 'I was dead', was really shocking and made me frighten of it incase could not wake up again. Of course sort of strict rules of timekeeping with the procedures at the ward were not helping either.

My SLEEPLESS nights at Ward20 ended when I was discharged and sent home. First night sleep on the sofa in the front room was going back to normal for my night habits. I regained my Dreams in no time. My life and sleeping became good partners. Maybe I needed to go through this experience to appreciate the small mercies of life. One thing is sure, I believe not knowing what is happening to us during our sleeping time, is frightening and life is too short to waste your time spending in bed.