Sleeping in Separate Beds Can Actually Be Good for Couples
Could couples who sleep in different beds have healthier relationships than those who share a set of sheets?
OK, don’t go packing your pillow up just yet, but hear me out on this one. Most people assume that couples who sleep in different beds are having relationship issues, whether it be in or out of the bedroom. However, that isn’t always the case and sometimes just sometimes getting a better night’s sleep can do the complete opposite of cause problems, it could actually solve them. How bout them apples?
I am not suggesting this idea is for everyone nor am I recommending you do this tonight and every night, but rather to ease the fears of those who already commit this modern yet extremely old school tradition as well as encourage any who are affected by restless sleeps. I don’t know about everyone else, but sleep pretty much determines my day, shit it affects my entire life. From my mood, weight, and diet choices to my temper, motivation, and sex life. Like I said, it determines EVERYTHING! After a good night of shut eye and I am a happier more energetic and stable individual. After a night of not so good shut eye and I am a temperamental and exhausted bitch-face. That's right, a BITCH-FACE! Hey, at least I can admit it. Now, do I practice what I preach? Not all the time, but a friend once told me as a new mother to “sleep when you can, wherever you can, but just sleep” and she was right. Thanks to my 3-year-old daughter suddenly not wanting to sleep in her room anymore, I have been forced to change places and occasionally sleep in her princess twin bed while she sleeps in mine and let me tell you, those have been some of the most sound sleeps I’ve had since becoming a mother. Of course, this is not the lesson I want to teach my daughter, that sleeping in mommy and daddy’s bed every night is acceptable, but it did also show me that mommy doesn’t have to sleep in bed with daddy every night just because we're supposed too.
Need some more convincing? Here are a few more facts about sleeping solo occasionally.
Allows ME Time
Not only can a bed for one provide a way more restful sleep but it can also give you the chance to wind down in complete privacy and comfort. Read a book, watch TV, drink wine in bed, sleep naked without your partner thinking it's for them. I mean the possibilities are endless! So how does one do this when they have 3 bedrooms and 2 children? Simple, give your kid the amazing news that they get to sleep in bed with their dad tonight! Yey! Kid happy. Mom happier. Just try not to spill any Merlot on your son's favorite Pokémon blanket. Whoops!
Better, Sounder Sleep
Duh! Does this need any more explanation than that? Between snoring, sleep talking, twisting, and turning, sharing a bed with someone isn’t always the most relaxing place to catch zzz's and recharge. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve had to wake up and punch my husband so he would stop snoring. Or how many times he has "aggressively" yanked the blankets off of me for stealing them all. Like damn dude, my unconscious self was cold, did you really have to pull the sheets that hard? Anyways, sometimes exactly what you need is an empty bed for one with no distracting noises, punches, and your own pillows and blankets to cocoon yourself from the outside world.
Takes the Pressure Off of Sex
Who would of thunk it, by taking the pressure off of couples to have sex may actually result in MORE sex! People just assume that when two people are laying horizontal together that they are or will be having sex. ERRRRRRR (incorrect buzzer sound) WRONG! However, that doesn't change the fact that we don't feel the pressure to have sex. You have heard me say this before in regards to women and sex; it's not because we don't want to make love or desire our partner, but sometimes more than not, after a long day of work, kids, cleaning, cooking, and so on, we just want to rip off our bras, get into bed, and chill the fuck out. That doesn't mean we don't feel a twinge of guilt. A worry that we aren't satisfying our partner. The dread that we may have to turn them down. So when you take all that pressure away and give someone a night off, the want for intimacy may actually return. I know, sounds crazy right?
Increases Cuddle Time
Not only can sleeping in another bed benefit your sex life but it can also help in other areas of your relationship too. Important areas like kissing, hugging, cuddling, and appreciation. For instance, remember the days when you were dating each other but ended the night by heading home to separate places? How much you wished you could spend the night and every night wrapped in their arms? Well, this may not be that intense but I promise you the value of that comfort can return and you may miss the feel of someone next to you. After spending a night apart you may look forward to cuddling up on the couch the following evening or even spending some quality time together before splitting up for the night.