Situationships

The beginning...

You've all had that childhood sweetheart right? That one guy at school you thought would be your forever and that you'd get married, buy the dream mansion, go on romantic holidays and have 6 babies (4 boys, 2 girls) and live happily ever after. Yeah... Me too. And I know, our expectations were clearly too high because that is definitely not—and rarely ever—how it pans out.

I was 14 years old when I met "the love of my life" shall we say and I spent until I was 18 years old with him (I know, a long time right?). Well, things came to a natural end as we grew up and indefinitely grew apart. I moved to university, and he—moved on. And by on, I mean with someone else. "CUE PSYCHO!"

The break up.

Okay so as you can imagine, this hit me hard. I did the whole "eat the entire tub of ben and jerry's... or 4" whilst crying to chick flicks and listening to Drake for almost a whole month. Then I hit the, "lets go out and get absolutely wasted and dance with guys I don't even know the names of" stage and then finally, managed (two years on) to get to the "just think about him sometimes, but I'm over it and I'm happy" stage.

And then... (DUN DUN DUUUUUUUN)

I (and when I say I, I mean drunk "I") called him. Only like 36 times. But yes, I called him. Now if I can give any of you girls a word of advice, when and if you get to this stage... ABORT MISSION.

From this point on ladies, you're about to start talking on a regular basis. You're going to start talking on the phone until the birds tweeting outside of your window force you into the realisation that it is actually 5am and you have work in an hour. Eventually you'll begin sharing memories, loosing yourself in a spiral of nostalgia and finally… the meet up happens.

Now this may seem like good idea. Everything is exciting and new. You may well be thinking "Oh this is completely fine, we can meet up as old friends and just catch up." No. Wrong again ladies. Everything is not FINE and nothing about this situation is going to be CHILL so stop trying to convince yourselves otherwise. Do you not remember Dua Lipa warning us all "don't be his friend, you're only gonna wake up in his bed in the morning"? She told us all about the mistakes we made before we even made them. (Side note: I don't know about you, but I'm still waiting for a book release of "New Rules").

Anyway, I'm not stupid, I know you went ahead with the meet up so let me tell you how things progress from here.

Old feelings will most definitely start to creep back in and I mean you can try and ignore them and shake them off, but no, they're there and they're there to stay. These feelings are going to continue to grow, get deeper, start eating away at you and almost suffocate you. Oh and if you think I'm over exaggerating, I'm not. Then bam... you're both dropping the L bomb left right and centre (By the way, for those of you who don't know, the L bomb is "Love"—ew, I don't like this word).

Too some, this situation may not seem like a "situationship" at all. Some of you may even be thinking that this is rather cute and that there is some beauty in lost lovers finding their way back to one another. Sorry to disappoint.

The "Situationship"...

So it's only going to get more complicated from here ladies. Now you've devoted your love to one another, you're about to start getting comfortable again—perhaps far too comfortable. It is at this very moment you realise you are in a predicament. You love each other, but you don't want to be together, but you kind of do want to be together, but there are also other factors in the way. Is it love? Lust? A game? Just something to pass the time? Not even you know the answers to your own questions. You're toxic for each other and you are both well aware of this, but that doesn’t stop that little girl who is still sat somewhere in the back of your mind saying "things could work this time."

You're comfortable now which means it's only a matter of time before things start complicating further. From the get go it has been made clear that you are most definitely NOT in an exclusive relationship—am I right? Now this means one thing (oh, oh)… other people.

There's going to be other people he's entertaining, other "friends" he needs to make time for and other "plans" he needs to attend to as well as yours. There's going to be fights, arguments, and storm outs and you're about to hear those famous words "But we aren't together" like a radio stuck on repeat.

And that's it. This is you now. This is your "situationship" and you can either stay along for the ride or jump off at the next stop. However, that next stop seems to be approaching too quickly and you’re not sure whether you’re able to get off at all.

Conclusion (sort of).

I wish I could conclude this post with an inspirational solution on how to deal with a "situationship," but sorry ladies, I don't have the answers. I just thought I would share my story with you in the hope that if some of you relate to it and are struggling with a similar situation you can feel a little better knowing there are others out there going through the exact same thing. As much as all the way through this post I've said "NO. STOP. ABBORT MISSION GIRLS. STAY AWAY," sometimes find comfort in knowing that 1. You are not the only one in this situation 2. Things might turn out positively for you 3. Go with you heart because life is too short to live with regrets and "what ifs." Finally ladies, do you, and don't ever let any man (no matter who they are or the situation you are in) determine your future.

Good luck with your situationships ladies.

#femaleempowerment #thinkingoutloud