Should Have Stayed Home

I've been on a decent number of dates and I would say that the majority of them went decently well. Even if we decided not to go forward with a relationship, the date was always pretty good, for the most part. Except for one. Truth be told, I can't even remember the guy's name. (It was so bad, I didn't bother committing it to memory!) For sake of argument, let's call him Tom.

I met Tom on a dating called website OkCupid. Mind you, I'd just been in a five-month relationship with another guy I met on Cupid who ended up leaving me for my best friend. Having that background and track record with the site, you'd think I would have sought the male sex elsewhere. Nope, not this busty blonde. I had fallen off the horse and was determined to get back on, only to be reared off violently onto my backside.

Tom and I talked a couple of time through the OkCupid website. I can't recall a lot about our conversation, but I must have thought him safe enough to give my actual phone number to. We talked on the phone once or twice—again, don't remember a lot of the conversation. But we decided to meet up at the local mall in the food court for a casual date. I got there early and started reading one of my books for college—gotta stay ahead in those literature classes! By the time Tom was due to arrive, I sent him a text saying that I was here and the color shirt I was wearing so he could find me. He said okay. I waited another fifteen minutes and he still hadn't shown. I texted him again asking where he was. I don't remember what he replied exactly, but he was being shady, saying how he was unsure of meeting new people and how I should move to another spot and come find him in the mall. I wasn't down for any of that. I insisted that he come to the food court and find me in the next five minutes or I was leaving. Then, out of nowhere, someone sitting in the booth directly behind me said, "Would you really leave?" I yelped in shock and whirled around to see an unkempt, much older-looking boy. He was wearing a grubby, stained shirt, his face was dirty and stubbly, and he had huge bags under his eyes. Bottom line, Tom didn't look so good.

I replied, "Yes, I was ready to leave. I don't sit around for people." He was shocked by my answer and didn't seem to like it. I didn't care. He followed with the statement that he was hungry and would I like to have something with him in the food court? I wasn't hungry at the time but said that I would join him while he ate. He decided to get a churro from “Churro Mania.” As he was searching the menu, he mentioned that he was glad that I wasn't going to get anything because he had little to no money on him. I didn't reply. Then he proceeded to pay upwards of five dollars for a six-inch, caramel-filled churro. When we sat down, I asked him why he didn't get Burger King or Subway. He would have gotten much more food for the same price, maybe less, and he would have been full. He said it was what he wanted. I offered to buy him a meal somewhere if he was still hungry. He declined like I was insulting him.

After, he hastily ate his churro. He was a sloppy eater. We walked around the mall and talked. I don't remember a lot of our conversation, but I do recall him talking A LOT about his ex-girlfriend, how she was staying with him because she wasn't doing well and he needed to help her because she didn't have anyone else. And she had to stay with Him because anyone else would throw her on the street with all the "problems" she had, yadda, yadda, yadda. He talked more about his ex than anything which became more annoying by the minute.

As we were walking by FYE, I noticed scratches... no... cuts on his arms. I've seen what "Cutters" arms look like, and this looked way too close. What struck me as odd was that he wasn't hiding them. Most Cutters wear long sleeves to hide the scars. This guy was flaunting them. Given that fact—and that the "date" was not going well, and I didn't want to hear about his druggy ex anymore—I decided to ask him about them. I mentioned it subtly, asking, "Do you have a cat?"

"Umm... no."

"Oh, then what are the scratches on your arm there?"

"Nothing. Don't worry about it."

Given this defensive answer, I would normally have backed off. But given my previous experience with Cupid guys and keeping secrets, I pressed on.

"Are they from your job?"

"No, forget about it."

"Seriously, where are they from? Do they hurt?"

He stopped walking and glared down at me saying, "Wow, you really like to pry, huh?"

"I asked you a simple question. I didn't think there would be a complicated answer. Since you're so touchy about them, forget it."

We walked around the mall for a little longer when he got a phone call from his ex. Oh, I forgot to mention that all through us walking around and talking, he was getting text messages from his ex and telling me All About Them! When he got the phone call, we were by the bathrooms and I stopped in to let him have this conversation privately. While in the rest area, I decided that I wasn't going to waste any more time with this loser. He was obviously still VERY involved with his ex. He had some kind of drug or emotional problem. He was a few years older than me and wasn't going anywhere with his life. I wasn't down for any of this drama. When I got back into the mall, I couldn't find Tom anywhere! Had HE left ME? Seriously? Of the two of us, I was the one getting gypped. I looked around the area for about a minute and spotted him across the way, still on the phone, pacing. I decided that he was too into his conversation for my interruption and started walking away, all the while looking over my shoulder to see if he spotted me. He did eventually. We made eye contact and I said (with body language and mouthing) "I'm gonna go." He said, "okay" and pointed to his phone.

It was an absolute waste of my time. I was proud of myself for getting out of there when I did. I know that everyone comes with baggage and you have to be willing to help that person with theirs, as they are to help with yours. That's what makes part of a relationship. But this guy was still carrying things of his ex's. And that cutting business? I wasn't ready for that. It wasn't something I was willing to jump into, especially after what I had just gotten out of.

#MyWorstDate