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Shitty Pickup Attempts (And What We Can Learn From Them)

The Dumb, the Gross, and the Cringe

By Little AlicePublished 2 years ago 6 min read
Stop and think before you speak

We all have cringe stories about cheesy pickup lines, but some can be more sinister. Read on to learn how to turn your "pickup lines" into actual conversation starters.

*As a note, these situations are most common with man-woman scenarios, but they can also be applied to other genders.

Women know how to take a genuine compliment


This is one of the most common types of pickup lines that men use. Compliments are nice and can be great conversation starters, but the standard "compliments" that are thinly veiled come-ons are a real turn off. Calling attention to body parts is the biggest problem "compliment". It can range from being annoying to just downright raunchy. Trust us, you're not the first one to shout "Nice ass!" at the woman walking by. Women hear these "compliments" on a constant loop, and they're sick of them.

Instead, call attention to something that is her choice - meaning something that she has control over like her hairstyle, clothing, etc. And of course, make it a genuine compliment, not a thinly veiled "You're hot!" comment. Be specific. Women put a lot of thought into their daily appearance. Complimenting her shirt or her shoes can be a great conversation starter and make you look genuinely interested rather than creepy.

No one likes to feel embarrassed


This should be a no-brainer. Making fun of someone you're interested in would seem like a terrible idea, and yet some pickup artists still use this cringe-worthy tactic. An example is telling a woman "You dropped something!", wait for them to look around for the supposed lost item, then they look back up at you. She's annoyed. You respond to her soured mood with "Your smile!" This kind of nonsense wins you no prizes. It's one step away from the dreaded "You should smile more!" command that so many women hear on a daily basis. Embarrassing a woman in order to start a conversation is a great way to get yelled at and called all manner of negative things as she storms off, never to interact with you ever again. Women are already under a constant low-level of stress whenever they're out in public because of how common street harassment is. Adding to that stress is not going to get you her phone number.

Instead, wait for an opportunity to get a woman's attention. Do not embarrass (or heaven forbid scare) her. Don't be demanding either. Simply wait for an opportunity. Say hello, introduce yourself, make it casual. A relaxed "no strings attached" vibe will go much further than trying to invent stress or put pressure on a greeting. Women love good conversation and are more willing to give you the time of day if you make it her choice to engage with you.

Flirting while working is a captive audience


Trying to pick up a woman while she is working is not recommended. Women who work in customer service jobs like retail, bartender, or a cashier of any kind are required to be "nice" to you. They will literally lose their job if they don't respond politely and have a smile on their face. Don't mistake her required demeanor for interest. Unfortunately, workplace stalkers are common in these types of jobs (where men come just to try and flirt with them and are not an actual customer).

If you're determined to ask out a woman who is on the clock, keep it casual, and suggest a date outside of her workplace. If her answer seems vague, dodgy, or a polite "No", it all means "No". Anything other than an enthusiastic "Yes!" and a straightforward invitation to come back when her shift is over means she is not interested.

Cars make catcalling even more intimidating

Drive Bys

Picking up women puts them in a vulnerable position. Upping the intimidation factor by trying to pick them up from your car is even worse. Regardless of how nice or how banged up your car is, shouting at a woman from your car window, or even worse - following a walking woman while in your car, is a great way for her to start dialing emergency services.

While you may think that your car is a "chick magnet" and shouting a pickup line from your car window makes you "cool", all you're really accomplishing is scaring her. Human trafficking is a real issue, and many women have been trained on how to protect themselves from a potential kidnapping. Utilizing a car puts you in a powerful position in a bad way. Get out of the car, and put yourself on equal footing with her. If she's interested, you can always point out your sweet ride in the parking lot.

Headphones are code for "Leave me alone!"

Demanding Attention

A common defense women will put up while in public is having headphones on, reading a book, or both. This is their way of saying "I'm just trying to get from Point A to Point B. I don't want to talk to anyone.". Tapping them on the shoulder, or worse, yanking off their headphones and demanding attention is grounds for a fight. (Yes, this actually does happen a lot!) Women see invasive behavior like this as an attack. They will either shut down or lash out. Either way, they're not going to talk to you or want to go on a date.

Often times, this defense is put up when women are either commuting somewhere, or they're out jogging. In these scenarios, they have basically zero interest in guys hitting on them. They're just trying to get through their day. You're better off seeking a place or an activity where people are looking to interact - like a coffee house, a bar, or some other type of social event.

Don't be a sore loser

Playing the Victim

A common response men have to women rejecting their advances is to lash out. This "sore loser" behavior only confirms that she was right in rejecting you. Playing the victim and turning the rejection around on her shows that you're emotionally immature, and likely to have many other relationship red flags. Examples of this behavior are responses like "Well you're ugly anyway!" or "Wow, what a bitch!". It's childish and also alerts any other women within earshot to avoid you.

Play it cool and accept the rejection with grace. A lot of times, women initially reject men because we're trained to do so. It's a dangerous world out there, and women have to protect themselves. Accepting the rejection calmly gives her autonomy and shows emotional maturity. Even if she doesn't reconsider, a respectful response creates a safe space. Other women within earshot may increase their interest because you've proven you're not a volatile man-child.

Just Be Yourself

In any scenario, it's best to leave the cheesy pickup lines to sitcoms where they belong. Women appreciate genuine interaction. You won't "trick" them into going on a date with you because women not only see through these kinds of games, they've also heard all the attempts under the sun more times than they care to count. Want to be "original"? Just be you.

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About the Creator

Little Alice

I am a creative soul. Author. Artist. The world is my blank page.

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