THE STATE OF SHOCK IN THE SUPREME
Plaintiff OF TRUE LOVE,
The Accused INFIDELITY DISTRICT
INDICTMENT, SUBPOENA, AND MOTION FOR RELIEF OF A DISTURBED HEART AND LONELINESS CAUSED BY THE SEEMINGLY DELIBERATE LACK OF COMMUNICATION FROM A "SPECIAL" LOVED ONE.
COMES NOW, THE STATE OF SHOCK, BY AND THROUGH THE INFIDELITY DISTRICT OF SUPREME COURT OF TRUE LOVE, BLISS, AND DISTURBED HEARTS, ON THE GROUNDS OF CIRCUMSTANTIAL EVIDENCE, HEREBY INDICTS ——————————, THE ACCUSED ON THE FOLLOWING CHARGES:
COUNT (1). AS A RESULT OF YOUR EVIDENT AND DISHONERABLE LACK OF CONCERN, THE COURT HEREBY CHARGES THE ACCUSED,———————————, WITH FIRST DEGREE NEGLIGENCE.
COUNT (2). FOR FAILURE TO WRITE, FAILURE TO RESPOND TO YOUR LOVED ONE'S LETTER(S), OR FAILURE TO RESPOND IN A "TIMELY" FASHION, THE COURT HEREBY CHARGES THE ACCUSED, ————————————, WITH SECOND DEGREE EVADING CORRESPONDENCE.
COUNT (3). POSSESSION OF CRUCIAL INTRUMENTS, INFRA, WITH VERY LITTLE OR NO INTENT TO USE:
C) STAMPS AND ENVELOPES
COUNT (4). FOR UNLAWFUL INFREQUENT OR FLAT OUT DISCONTINUED VISITS, THE COURT HEREBY CHARGES —————————————, THE ACCUSED, WITH FIRST DEGREE ATTEMPTED ABANDONMENT.
COUNT (5). FOR HAVING YOUR LOVED ONE'S HEART AND MIND (CARELESS)LY IN YOUR POSSESSION. THE COURT HEREBY CHARGES THE ACCUSED, ————————————————, WITH EMOTIONAL ENDANGERMENT.
COUNT (6). AS A RESULT OF YOUR DISHONESTY, LACK OF MATURITY TO BE STRAIGHT-FORWARD, AND INABILITY TO SAY WHAT YOU MEAN AND DO WHAT YOU SAY, THE COURT HEREBY CHARGES ———————————————, THE ACCUSED, WITH FELONIOUS STORY TELLING.
COUNT (7). FOR YOUR MISUSE OF COMPANIONSHIP ENTRUTED IN YOU, THE COURT HEREBY CHARGES ——————————————, THE ACCUSED, WITH BREACH OF CONTRACT OF SWEETHEARTS.
In the event that you, —————————————————, the accused are found guilty of each and every inscribed in this indictment, the Supreme Court of True Love, Bliss, and Disturbed Hearts shall impose the maximum penalty under the law of Domestic Relations that's required by the State of Shock. If you, —————————————, the accused, are unable to prove that you were on your death bed and within an inch away from your life, physically crippled in some way that prevented you from writing or visiting, or otherwise in some way unable to carry out the responsibilities agreed upon in your contract of Sweethearts, all charges will be executed under penalties enlisted below:
# SUSPENSION OF HUGS AND KISSES
# NEGLIGEE AND/OR G-STRING RESTRICTION
# LECTURE CHAIR
# RELIABILITY REHAB
# POSSIBLE LETHAL INJECTION
# POSSIBLE CONSTRUCTIVE DISCHARGE
S U B P O E N A
Considering the possibility of the Court choosing to exercise it's discretion of leniency (i.e. dropping the charges) in the case at hand, the accused, ——————————————, must qualify under the conditions that he/she would seriously like to plead his/her side of the case by appearing before the Court located in the institution's visitation room of the plaintiff's whereabouts within 30 days. On the alternative, the accused must submit by mail a convincing argument, in the form of a letter, within 10 business days. The letter must be forwarded to the institution's mail room where the plaintiff is presently designated. The accused may take "both" approaches if he/she wishes.
NOTE: Your visitation appearance and/or letter is "only" required if you wish to plea your case and redeem yourself from the pending charges. On the contrary, if you choose to decline, may the inevitable law of Karma have mercy on your spirit when she comes to visit you in due season.
I declare under the penalty of Laughter and Basic Humor, that the forging facts are true and correct to the best of my knowledge. I hereby certify that a true and correct copy was sent to the accused, ————————————————, on this, ———————————————, day of, ———————————, 20—————.
YOUR DISTANT LOVED ONE