Secrets From a Tarot Reader's Notebook

The Dating Game

I get this over and over and over again in my professional practice. Women, who are otherwise intelligent and logical beings become irrational and unrealistic and anxiety ridden when the object of their affections becomes ambivalent, or worse, uninterested.

I am not talking about those in "long term" relationships. I am talking about those who are truly single and dating who don't want to give a relationship time to grow or develop naturally, or don't allow the male to take the "reins" so to speak, of the masculine energy role (the initiator) and jump the gun in oh so many ways.

The advice that I give over and over and over again, which VERY few follow, is to remove their energy and attention AWAY from the gentleman who is behaving in a distant manner. This means, don't call him up, don't text him, don't stalk him online, don't invite him out...the female (at the dating stage) must allow the male the time and the "room" to decide whether or not he wants to take this further, which is not on the same schedule as the female.

Females tend to decide very quickly that they want to be involved. They may have just flirted with a gentleman and they will call me and ask "is this the guy that I am going to marry". Although the cards will show if there is a POTENTIAL for a long term relationship, if you have just met a guy this weekend and he hasn't even asked you out yet, this question is based on suppositions galore and it is not likely that you will get a very accurate answer. Tarot Readings are not set in stone. They will tell you what is LIKELY to happen if you remain on the same path, continue with the same types of actions, into the future. Any changes in YOUR behavior change the outcomes of the situation...Tarot Readings are a living, breathing, metaphysical wonder and change as your actions change.

A more apropos question at the first stages of infatuation would be "will he ask me out" and then after a date or so "will we develop a relationship" perhaps after 6-9 months of exclusive dating...."will he consider marrying me".......the questions have to be realistic in comparison to the situation in order to have any sense of accuracy. If you want to be the "feminine" energy in a relationship with a "masculine" male, as archaic as it may sound, you must allow him to set the pace. If it is not in your nature to allow this, then you may be a "masculine" energy female, or if you are truly "feminine" energy, you need to discipline yourself to your natural energy.

All modern women must maintain a masculine energy at work, and our "go get it if you want it" attitude will serve us well in our careers, but NOT in our relationships (unless he is a feminine energy male), but this post is about the majority....we shall discuss the opposing roles later. Ok, so he is a masculine energy male. He wants to be TRUSTED. He wants you to think he is COMPETENT. So why would you pick up the phone and call him and ask him out for the weekend??? It makes him feel like you are taking the lead and that you do not feel he is man enough, or responsible enough to be able to ask YOU out. He may say yes, but you are setting a playing field where you will ultimately lose! Your role, as the feminine energy, is to ACCEPT or REJECT whatever this man presents to you. If he does not call you within a comfortable amount of time, it doesn't mean you call him and take the lead, it means you REJECT his negligence and busy yourself with friends or on other dates with males who respect you enough to follow up with you.

If a male tells you he would rather "be friends", it does not mean that he really down deep wants to be your lover but is afraid of commitment, or was hurt and afraid he will be hurt again. It means he IS NOT interested in being your lover...move on. If he changes his mind, he will be back.

The most effective means of measuring a man's interest is to keep moving on, keep moving forward UNTIL HE ASKS YOU to stop, stay still with him for awhile. Until a man asks you to be exclusive to him DATE YOUR BUTT OFF!!! If you are in a dating slump...keep yourself busy doing the things you’ve always wanted to do....live your life as you imagine in your mind...start living the life you imagine.....on your own!!!! Nothing draws a man out more than the absence of your energy. If you allow him to feel your absence, he will feel the need to connect, and he will INITIATE!!! If you are always there, texting him, phoning him, lurking on line, he has NO MOTIVATION to connect...you are always available...so there is no sense of urgency for him to get some of your time and attention...he already has it!!!