Second Dates Aren't Always That Great
The Worst Weekend Date I've Had... To-Date
This is the story of my worst date, which oddly enough, was my second date with Cece.
It all started on a weekend I was home visiting my parents. I decided to open up Tinder and see if I could find anyone interesting on the app since I was in a different place. Cece popped up on my screen and after looking through her profile, I decided I'd swipe right. It was a match instantaneously. Now, I can't recall who messaged who first, but we seemed to hit it off right away to the point that she wanted to hang out with me the next day. I usually wouldn't go on a date with someone I had been talking to for one day, but I was trying to do things that scare me, why? I still don't know.
So the next day, I get up and drive 45 minutes to meet this girl for our date. We played pool, had a few drinks, got some food, and ended it with an awkward car hookup. After that day, I returned to the city now placing me about 3.5 hours away from Cece. We continued to talk everyday all day, whether it was FaceTime or texting. It started to feel like a relationship was budding, but again I had only hung out with her once so I was worried. My birthday was a few weeks away and all of my best friends were planning on coming to the city on the weekend to celebrate. Cece decided she wanted to come up that weekend too, but she would arrive a day earlier so we could have some alone time together.
So she arrives and we go up to my apartment, we're barely in the door and she's all over me. Don't get me wrong: I love sex just as much as the next person, but I knew my roommate was going to be home at any minute. I told her this but she was pretty adamant on hooking up right then and there, so reluctantly I gave in for a quickie. Don't get me wrong I enjoyed it, but I also wasn't a fan of doing it right away, but that's beside the point. About 20 minutes later my roommate texts me from downstairs asking to help her carry up some stuff, so I quickly throw some clothes on and run down to help her. Now when you live with someone, you usually know how to read people, so as soon as she saw me she knew what had just happened minutes before. One thing I hate is my friends knowing my business before I decide if I want to tell them. So at this point I am already annoyed.
The day goes on, we're all hanging out and my roommate has invited her girl over as well. We decide to make some supper, chill and have a few beer. Up until this point everything is going pretty well, apart from the fact that Cece wants me to kiss her every time I walk by. Again, I'm not a fan of PDA so this is a red flag for me. After we finished eating, we realize there is a fair in town and what better way to have a double date then at a fair. So at this point in my life, I'm working minimum wage job and have very limited money. Because it was my birthday weekend, I had set aside a set amount of money for they whole weekend, and didn't want to spend that much at the fair.
We get to the fair and buy our bracelets and start going on rides. Everything is going fine at this point, until Cece wants to go on the ferris wheel. Every time we get to the top she wants to kiss me and is trying to turn it into a hook up. I'm all for hooking up in "forbidden" places, but a fair full or children and my best friends was not the place I wanted to do it. After what felt like an hour of forced kissing and touching, the ride finally stops and we meet up with my friends to play some games.
Remember that set amount of money I had for the weekend, well it all ended up getting wasted on one game to win this massive stuffed dog, which we did win in the end. On the drive back to my apartment we are trying to find a name for this big dog that is going to take up over half of my room, Cece keeps throwing out disgusting names like "Licky" or "Fingers." Up until this point I already knew I wasn't really into her, but this was the real turning point.
Shortly after this we arrive at my apartment, Sally (my roommate) and her girl head to the store to get snacks after dropping us off. As soon as we get inside Cece is all over me again, but now she wants to smoke weed and go to the bedroom. I agree to smoking weed, but tell her I have to make the chip dip so we could all watch a movie. Another red flag for me, was not only did she bring 1/4 of weed with her, but she also brought a bong along too. As someone who smoked weed regularly at that time, it didn't seem weird for her to bring weed, but that much was a bit extreme. Moral of the story, we got high, I quickly made the dip and then she ended up dragging me to my room, essentially, to have sex.
Don't get me wrong on the receiving end of it, it was pretty good, I had very little complaints. But on the giving end of it was just plain weird for me. Each time Cece would finish she would have a panic attack and start crying, which I understand happens, I just didn't understand why she always wanted to have sex if this is how her body responded. Eventually we go to sleep, well she does and I sit up and contemplate my life for hours. I realize that I am not into this girl at all, but I'm forcing myself to give her a chance.
So the next day comes and we're awaiting the arrival of my best friends, its late in May and the weather is beautiful. The three of us, Cece, Sally, and myself sit out on my balcony drinking beer and listening to music. Now, I'm not frequently what you would consider a "Fuck Boy," but Cece is on the other side of the balcony playing with my cat and I'm sitting by Sally swiping through girls on Tinder, definitely being a fuck boy. By this time, I've already texted my best friend and told her not to bother grilling Cece with questions because this isn't going to go anywhere past this weekend. I'm unsure how to tell Cece I'm not interested but I'm hopeful that me being cold will be hint enough.
After my friends arrive, we decide to go to our favourite place for food and drinks to start the night. By this point I'm barely talking to Cece, and she's noticed something is off. After we return back to my place, she keeps trying to get me to kiss her or go into my room for alone time. But I'm not about to ditch all my friends for some weird and confusing hooking up, that quite frankly I don't want to be a part of. SO my best friend, being the Mom she basically is, decides to go talk to Cece, while I lay in Sally's bed gossiping with my friends. When Tara (my best friend) comes back in, she thinks I should go talk to Cece.
So against my will, I go in to talk to her, when I enter my room she's packing all her stuff and won't really talk. She lets me know something has come up and she has to leave, so I help her get her stuff together. When she's ready to go Tara and I walk her down to her car. Tara says bye and says she's going to give us a minute to say bye to each other. By giving us a minute, she really means she's going to go just out of sight where she can still see us.
This goodbye is probably the most awkward exchange of my life. I thank her for coming down and wish her a safe drive back, ending it with a "let me know when you get home safe." She gets in her car and drives away, and thats the last time I see her.
Looking back on it, I realize a lot of things. The first being that I should have never agreed to let her come up for the weekend. I was already unsure if I was into her, but being one of the only single ones left in my friend group I was feeling desperate and wanted to give her a chance. The second thing I realized is that after she came to the city, I should've been more vocal about what I did and didn't want to do. It's easy to feel pressured into doing things, especially when someone has driven 3.5 hours to see you and that was their main goal. But that being said, it wasn't fair to her or myself to go along with it. One of the last things I realized is that, even thought the first date was great it didn't mean the second one would be great as well.
Getting to know someone over text or FaceTime isn't always going to show what they are really like. There needs to be face to face interaction for you to really see how you are going to connect with someone. Now I'm not going to sit here and say I regret my choices completely, believe me I do regret a lot of it, but at the end of the day I learned a lot about myself from it. I learned that saying "no" is important, that you shouldn't do things because you feel like you should and more importantly, that hanging out with or dating a stranger off of Tinder isn't always the best decision.
I realize I could've handled things in a better manner, and that I was a pretty shitty person for how I handled things, but in the moment I didn't know what else to do. After that weekend I messaged Cece and told her that I didn't want to continue whatever we had going on and that it wasn't her but me—which isn't completely a lie. But that being said, this experience isn't one I want to ever live through again nor would I wish it on my enemy (not that I have any). Thus, making this my worst date to date. One that I know I'll never live down, and Sally has made sure of that by making sure my friends all know about Cece, the girl who wore steal toe boots to a fair and planned on wearing them to the bar.