Santa's TP Sleigh

What does everyone want for Christmas this year? Wouldn’t it be bundles of toilet paper? Right as Coronavirus cases flare up, more people go out to buy toilet paper and other essentials they will think they need for a long period of being stuck in the house, so the stores may possibly be out or just not have the nicest or softest toilet paper that people would like to have. The inspiration for this Christmas card came from the thought of several people sitting down to write Santa a letter and it to say, “All I want for Christmas is the softest toilet paper you can get me.” Then when Santa fills his sleigh with all of this cushion, he would not be able to stay awake during his flight. He is usually riding with toys and other cold, hard, and uncomfortable goodies that he can usually stay up with them pressing into his back, jolting him awake. This year though, he will have a harder time because of how cozy the toilet paper feels behind him.

Santa’s sleigh this Christmas feels like it would be full of soap, sanitizer, and paper products as he gets ready for a Christmas that needs its cheer possibly more than years past. This also helps with the problem many people are having with slow shipping not bringing gifts on time for Christmas day, so parents might tell their kids that Santa got a little too cozy and delivering Christmas gifts would have to span over several nights instead of just one. I hoped that the funny TP moment would make people laugh receiving the card and thinking of Santa cuddling up next to the soft sheets because of people sending in Christmas lists that might say:

-Books Grandma loved

-A stress ball

-Toilet paper

And then another that says:

-An engraved necklace

-Toilet Paper

-Hand Sanitizer

With all the toilet paper requests, Santa may surround himself with it like cushions. There is a commercial for a brand of toilet paper I have seen many times lately about a guy wearing the toilet paper on him like it is a soft robe that is so quirky and funny. Everyone staring at him strangely as he is extremely comfortable in his toilet paper outfit. I have seen many influencers make toilet paper outfits. A toilet paper wedding dress could be the latest fashion trend. There would be even more of a shortage of toilet paper if this caught on though. Maybe a cloth or material that resembles the toilet paper so that the dress would last longer, but still be a symbol to represent the toilet paper craze. Could even have toilet paper decorations and themes for the love of TP. People wear trash bags and potato sacks in fashion so why not toilet paper?

My mom would always tell me stories about how she grew up in poverty. She lived in a small house with all of her siblings that always makes us feel super cramped when we come together for the holiday. We didn’t get to go by there this year though because of such a small space with many people crammed together. It always reminds me of a cute little doll house with vintage appliances in the kitchen and one small bathroom for everyone that doesn’t even have a door lock. My mom would tell me about how they did not have toilet paper sometimes because they could not afford it, and they would have to use reusable rags. This makes me very happy that toilet paper is usually so widely available for use, and even now I have seen bamboo toilet paper that can be bought to save trees. Wouldn’t paperless TP be a wonderful gift from Santa this year? We will have to leave a Christmas mask out with the cookies this year too.