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Rules for Breaking Up

by Shari Shanice 3 years ago in breakups

Bounce back, baby!

Having been on the sending and receiving end of a breakup text, I can tell you this is not my first rodeo. Some breakups are mutual, some come with heartbreak, others come with freedom. All in all, there are some simple steps I take after each break up to ensure I come out on top.

First off, if it's a messy breakup, I cut ALL ties. Ties with family, friends, and social media. I must say that in my lifetime, I have had one great four-year relationship that came to a painful end. We were both young. We started dating in my final year of high school, up until my third year of university. Being with someone in that transitional period of my life was tough because I felt like I wanted to "START LIFE" with that person but I was so young and had so much more to learn. For me, that meant romantically letting go to the person tied to the "Old/Younger" you. That break up was harder for my then boyfriend than it was for me as I was the one experiencing the growth at the time. There was still a lot of love but I STILL TOOK A STEP BACK from him and his family. Reason being, I didn't want to be THAT ex-girlfriend that made it harder for a new girl to come around and get acceptance from the parents. We also unfollowed each other on social media—even though we both didn't publicly move on with new partners immediately, we both didn't want to see each other living individual lives that we once shared together.

Step two: Gather your breakup squad and hit the road! After each breakup, I become a proper street hoe. I legit do not turn down an invitation to go out. I remember a point in my life where my best friend was going through a breakup and I went out so much with her, I started to feel like I was single. I just think if the break up is final, take your time to grieve the separation from the person if you loved them, but don't let it keep you inside. Being in the house will only have you thinking about the person and the moments shared especially if a lot of those moments were spent being homebodies.

Step three: Start dating. I personally don't think there is a respectable period to wait after a break up before you can start dating. Once it's over, it's over—life, however, continues and so should you. Dating doesn't mean getting into a new relationship right away. Give yourself time to learn and heal but still keep your foot in the game so you don't get rusty. For me, that includes going on dates (FOR FOOD) with the not so attractive guy that I have no serious intentions with.


Shari Shanice

Read next: Turning Life’s Struggles into Positives

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