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Reminiscent

Thoughts I needed to mention.

By AutumninspacePublished 4 years ago 4 min read
2

Everything seems to be moving so fast, friends getting married, moving away, just people around me getting on with life and I feel as if I'm just standing still, or worse slowing down. I want to keep up, I want to improve and achieve, just don't know where to start.

Sitting in this small but aesthetically pleasing coffee shop, whilst nursing my Americano and thinking to the time when things were going... well, I wouldn't say amazingly well.... but just better to how it is now. I smile at the memories I made and am doing my best to not cringe over the little mistakes I made along the way (overthinking at its finest there). While I was in that moment, I never appreciated it, rather I complained about my life most of the time, and you might think I'm doing the same mistake now, not appreciating my present, which I would agree with you, unfortunately. But it's difficult.

I guess this is a post about about relating with small things in life that people go through but don't speak about with others. Small feelings that we experience but dismiss rather quickly or don't think is worth mentioning.

I remember once I was at an arcade with a group of friends, we did bowling and played some of the games there, after we went to eat. There was no issues and it all went so smoothly. It was amazing. I mean don't get me wrong, I've similar days, but for some reason that day was special, and I have such a vivid memory of it. I remember talking to my friend about it, about how well the day had gone and she said she felt the same way, but she also said that we won't be able to recreate this memory. I was a bit confused as to why she had said that. I mean why won't we be able to experience it again?

It's true, we were never able to recreate that moment. It has been seven years since that day. We went to the same place again after so many times, but it just wasn't the same. Friendships fading away, busy life getting in the way, meeting new people. What happened was we grew up. It's weird thing to talk about but it has happened and it was an example of other memories too.

"We used to talk." This expression has become so common lately. He was someone special in my life, I had liked him for several years. We started talking... A LOT. Things never progressed further, but we know it happened. It's so odd, you can't even call it a relationship, when technically it is one. We were acquaintances for years, saying hi to each other, but not being able to go further, more because we were always surrounded by family or friends. He would sneak glances and that is how far it went, but one day we met coincidentally outside. We spoke for a while, he walked me home and from there we started speaking every day for three years straight. Others would say to him, "Is that your girlfriend?" and he would just look at me and smile. I would do the same. It was never said officially. So I could never explain it to anyone. It was a sweet memory, but it was something so confusing, that I never want to experience it again. A memory that could never be recreated and never should be.

(You were cute, but you weren't good for my mental health.)

A song can bring back so many emotions, it can also make so many new ones. Have you ever shared your favorite song with the wrong person and then have that song linked with them, and now it's just difficult for you to listen to it? Well I have a playlist that is four hours and 12 minutes long that I haven't touched for two years. I miss them. Moral of the story, take your time with sharing those amazing songs. Make sure they really deserve to listen to it.

I sometimes look back at the conversations, and I think how good it would have been if I had said this or that at that time, then certain things would have not happened or relationships would not have gotten so tense. I can't take it it back, what is done is done. Along with that I wished I payed more attention to certain words that were said to me, but I dismissed it because of kindness and foolishness. How I could have saved myself from so many toxic people and toxic situations. Something good came out of it all, getting hurt this way also allowed me to grow, and allowed me to be careful in the future from things that would have caused greater damage to my mind.

friendship
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About the Creator

Autumninspace

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