Relationship Status? Single.

What they constantly ask me...and what I do not tell them.

Relationship Status? Single.
Photo by Eddie Kopp on Unsplash

"Why are you single? Why are you deciding to stay single when you have so many options?"

I am consistently asked this question over and over again. Peers have told me that I am wasting so many good options waiting for the perfect person, waiting for my soul mate. I use to try to explain to them why I choose to remain single right now. However, in a society where being in relationships is glorified, me being vocal about choosing to live a single life is seen as a weakness...and can even be viewed as an excuse.

Here is my reason of choosing to remain single in a society that glorifies being in a relationship.

Being single, is being in a relationship. With yourself. And in my opinion, there is nothing more important or valuable than learning to love yourself and pushing for self growth. So many people jump into relationships not understanding their own value. People are bouncing into romantic relationships without working on self-growth, without figuring out what they truly want in a relationship. The idea of being completely and utterly loved by someone else is, and will always be alluring. Don't get me wrong, I dream for that day and I am positive others do too, but why can't falling in love with yourself and focusing on self-growth be just as alluring?

I adore the idea of being in love, as I tell people when they ask me why I am remaining single. Of course I look forward to when I will walk down the aisle to the man of my dreams. The day when my boyfriend will get down on one knee and tell me that I am the one he wish to spend the rest of his life with. However, I am 22 years old. My life does not start and end with a relationship status. I have a whole life to live, and a whole lot more growing to do.

So when people ask me that same question, I tell them that I adore the idea of being in love, and it will soon come. What I do not tell them is I adore the idea of focusing on my self-growth more. On the idea of pulling myself out of struggles and learning from my drastic, foolish mistakes. I do not tell them that I adore the idea of knowing that I can be an independent person, learning how to find joy and happiness in loneliness. Why do I not tell them these things anymore? Words can only go so far. After a while, you just have to show people by the way you live. And that is what I am doing. And slowly, their questions are no longer Why do you choose to remain single? But, how are you so content and happy with just yourself? And with that, my answers are able to be heard and taken to heart. Because I have learned to find joy within myself and I learn new things about myself, just about everyday.

Living a single life in a society that glorifies having a relationship status. My status will remain single...until I choose otherwise.

single
Kendra Anderson
Kendra Anderson
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Kendra Anderson
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