Relationship Bliss

Six ways to keep your relationship blissful. Let's start by saying I am no love guru or therapist. I don't have scientific facts about relationships but my own. I've had my fair share of fantastic and nurturing relationships and abusive and emotional ones. Some couples love the dramatics that occurs in their relationship, but I, for one, do not. If you're looking for ways to add drama to your relationship, this post is not for you. If you're looking for a natural way to reach relationship bliss, I can help.

Through my journey, I've learned that these six characteristics, if mastered, will lead you to relationship bliss. It sure has for me. In no particular order these six characteristics will help maintain a satisfying and nurturing relationship.

1) Communication - It's no lie that excellent communication is the key to a healthy relationship with friends and colleagues, but it's pretty essential between you and your significant other. Nowadays, people are terrified of their words and how they would be understood. It would be best if you did not fear the thoughts and opinions of your partner. I tell my partner everything, whether it's significant or not. If I'm out with my friends and someone hits on me that night, I will let my partner know. If I need to change how my partner speaks to me, I will let him know. When you withhold information from one another, it may lead down a negative path in your relationship. Communication is not one-sided; your partner should be open and willing to tell you things. As they say, it takes two to tango. The conversation doesn't just stop at how each of you is feeling. Communication should breach uncomfortable topics, like finances, how many children you want, and if you wish to rent or buy a place. When both parties are open to each other's thoughts and opinions, it's easier to learn whether you two are fit for the long haul or if you may have work to do.

2) Listen - People tend to love the sound of their voices. Sometimes we talk and talk and forget to ask questions and forget to listen to what people have to say. Listening is vital to a healthy and blissful relationship. Some people are so desperate to be heard that they raise their voices a few notches. One doesn't need to do that unless you're talking in the middle of a techno club; at this time, your best bet is to save the conversation for another time. Loss of voice is a killer the next day. When your partner is speaking, take a step back and really listen to their words. You may be urged to cut them off because you have your own opinion on what they are saying but hold your tongue. You will get your chance to speak once they finish. The sharing of ideas and opinions helps create the foundation of any relationship. Still, to know whether your thoughts and views align, you must listen to what each party is saying. Sometimes we are on defense, but we learn to hold back and give the mic to the partner if they speak. You will get your turn.

3) Cool Off - All relationships have their downs. When you're in a heated moment with your partner, the best course is to lower your tone and take a step back. Could you tell your partner you will discuss this when you both have cooled off? When you're in the heat of the moment, chances are words will be said that are hurtful, and you'll regret them later on. Some people prefer to finish their argument at that time, which is excellent for you. I have had plenty of disagreements that were done and over with at the same time and turned out poorly. Hurtful things were said, and both parties left angry; one party went out to hang with friends, and cheating occurred and a whole slew of other things. I'm not saying this will happen if you choose to finish your argument at that moment, but, I guarantee you, you won't feel right about some things you've said. Take a step back and cool off. Come back and talk calmly when you both have cleared your heads.

4) Respect - This takes time. The more you spend time with a person and see how they treat you, the more respect you gain (or, in some cases, you lose connection with them). Respecting your partner is critical to a happy relationship because you know where their loyalties lie and vice versa. If your partner does not respect you, trust me, they will be stringing you along and having their cake and eating it, too (been on this end of the stick one too many times). Respect isn't just for the other person; you must respect yourself in a relationship. You must respect yourself to know that you deserve the other person as much as they deserve you. You put in your legwork, and so have they. If you're sitting in your room crying every night about your significant other (I've done this before), you're not respecting yourself. No one has the right to make you this unhappy in life, and the only person to change that is yourself. If you're hanging out at home complaining about your significant other to your roommate and the things they aren't doing to try to make your relationship work... Honey, you're not respecting yourself. It's one thing to complain about your significant other, but if they are always fighting with you and making you feel worthless, say adios amigos.

5) Patience - For lack of better phrasing, this generation is the "me" generation. Everything is what I want, not what you want. If that's okay with you, let's get together. It's all about me. That's where patience comes in. Patience is a hard virtue, and it takes a particular person to hone in on this skill. We all want something incredible out of this life, and patience is the only way to get there besides hard work. In a relationship, tolerance for each other and yourself is critical. People get so caught up in other people's quirks and faults they are so quick to walk away. The key is everyone is unique in their way. Your partner fits you, and you complete them; that's all that matters. If you're annoyed with your partner's quirks, you communicate it to them; if it's worth changing, they will change; you have to be patient with them. If they don't want to change, they won't, so stop nagging them about it. It doesn't mean they don't love you; they just aren't interested in changing because they don't see it as an issue. Learn to be patient with their flaws, and if you can't let them be who they are, you have to change your mindset and contemplate that tricky question, is this something I want to have for the rest of my life?

6) Continue Dating - Whether you're married, living with your partner, or dating for years, continue to date each other. It's good to spice up your relationship by going out on dates, whether to the movies, out dancing, or just to the neighborhood pub. When you're socializing and doing something nice with each other, it helps takes the mundane feeling of being with someone for years away. I'm not sure about you, but I love going on dates with my partner, whether it's to a museum, a cooking class, or a night out to dinner; we still find so much to talk about, and we continually learn more about each other doing these things.

I hope you enjoyed my six tips for a happy relationship. I have much more to learn, but these six tips helped me find a nurturing relationship that makes me proud.