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Relationship Advice

To Stay or Leave a Relationship?

By Joni VenoPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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The decision whether one should stay or leave is the most consequential yet painful choice to decide upon. Millions of people from all over the world are constantly dealing with this issue. On the other hand, their partners probably have little to no knowledge of this ongoing debate at all. Everyone at one point in their life expects to fall deeply in love with someone, but pressure and baggage haunt us as we think about the right decision to make. We intend to keep our partners happy, but at the same time we argue with our inner selves in debate if the love we carry can balance or tip-off.

We can not just blame ourselves all the time. There are multiple things that influence how we independently feel, depicting how we handle our relationships. Take this for instance, friends. If you have friends that are in good standing relationships, it motivates you to try work things out within your relationship. However, in other scenarios when your friends are single mingling or recently broken up, it inclines you to sympathize and draw out possibly more problems in your relationship. Even with these factors, what we chose to do is still our own opinion. This is why the subject to leave or to stay lives existentially in our minds for a long period.

Historically, the decision was much easier for couples that fell in love. Different sanctions proclaimed stern rules about not leaving and if you did there would be consequences from God based on your actions. Societies would shame and look the other way upon the thought of a single person going on with their day. It made the scene uncomfortable and intolerable which is why breakups were also scarce around the world. Even decades later, philologists urged that divorce would jeopardize the social development of the child for the rest of his/her life. With years of an advancing world, these objections have slowly diminished and now do not even exist anymore. Human culture no longer puts pressure on how you live your love life. Society is too busy to care, and psychologists believe it's better to have a broken family then an unhappy one.

So ultimately once again this all comes down to us and how we feel about the situation. We want the heart and the brain on the same terms all the time, twenty–four seven. This is a very hard task to fulfill because our feelings tend to shift and change, ultimately not giving us the rational clarification that we desperately are seeking for. Try and make a little checklist of questions for yourself and answer them truthfully with your heart and brain. What you need to do is to figure out how much of your unhappiness attributes from your partner. Maybe we need to check ourselves modestly and discover that maybe we can be a little hard to be around as well. The most important thing we can do is communicate, talk to your partner about how this makes you feel. Don’t make them the target, but instead open your emotions through speech and direct them to source of all this uncertainty.

Question yourself for the last time if you want to stay in the same setting of questionable love or sacrifice it for a new unfamiliar setting where you will have to create love from the beginning. It’s time to choose, either build up hope or keep building experience. If you decide to stay, then make this your mark, and be loyal. If you decide to leave, don’t look back, hold your heart real tight and walk away to a new life of, as they say, “love in the air.”

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About the Creator

Joni Veno

A bit of this and that.

Find me on IG - imfatveno

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