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Reasons You Should (and Shouldn’t) Date Before Your Divorce is Final

Only You Can Decide What Is Best For You

By Shelley WengerPublished 2 years ago 3 min read
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Going through a divorce is often the hardest thing that you will ever do. In the blink of an eye, your whole life is going to change. You may even feel like you are losing everything, including yourself!

It can also be a lonely time, which leads many people to start dating right away, even before their divorce is final. However, others feel like you need to wait before you start looking for love again.

So, should you date right away, or should you wait?

Here are some reasons why you shouldn't start dating right away.

You might not be ready to get back out there. You need time to grieve over the loss of your marriage. Not only are you losing your partner and marriage, you are also losing the life that you had envisioned for yourself.

If you are focused on finding love again, you may not be worried about starting your new life over. When you are going through a divorce, you are going to be going through a lot of big changes. You may have to move, as well as make some changes financially. You may also need to find another job.

If you have children, you need to use this time to focus on them. Their whole lives are changing, and you need to make sure that they come out on the other side as unscathed as possible. Your whole life should be about making this transition for them as easy as possible. You probably won't have the time for dating.

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The truth is there are no legal reasons for why you can't date when you are going through a divorce, but it can still lead to problems during this difficult time. If your ex finds out that you are dating before you are even divorced, he or she may take it out on you during the divorce proceedings. Anger can lead to the unwillingness to compromise, which could further hurt your divorce. It may end up taking much longer than necessary to be free to start your new life.

In fact, many people recommend waiting at least a year or two before you start dating. It can be a big mistake to jump right into another relationship, before you even processed what happened in the one that you are currently in! Another person isn't going to save you and fix your life for you. You need to do that for yourself.

Here are some reasons why you might want to start dating right away.

There are no legal reasons that say you can't date during this time. Nobody is going to stop you from dating, even if your divorce isn't finalized, so there is no reason why you shouldn't put yourself back out there.

It can also help your self-esteem. Getting divorced is rough for most people. They need time to grieve, and many don't leave their homes during this time. So, if you have a reason to get out of bed, showered, and dressed, it can make you feel a lot better!

Having someone appreciate you can make it even better. When dating, you may start to feel special again. You are going to have men (or women) who are trying to impress you, and treat you well. This can really lift your mood.

Going through a divorce can be devastating. Many feel like they are losing everything, including themselves. They are losing their partner in crime, as well as the life that they had envisioned for themselves.

It takes time to grieve the end of your marriage, so you might not be ready to put yourself back out there. If you have children, they should be your primary focus. They need you to help them through this transition, so you probably won't have time for dating.

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That being said, it can be freeing to start dating again. Instead of staying in bed, getting dressed up can make you feel like a new person. It also feels great when someone is trying to impress you. Plus, there is no legal reason why you shouldn't put yourself out there again!

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About the Creator

Shelley Wenger

Small town country girl in southern Pennsylvania. Raising two boys on a small farm filled with horses, goats, chickens, rabbits, ducks, dogs, and a cat. Certified veterinary technician and writer at Virtually Shelley.

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