Raphael and John in Raphael's Poem

I have two other unique isolated stories about these boys that are already up on this site. Summaries and links will be provided, the end of the story, please take a look when you finish reading this one. Note that all of them are stand-alone stories. Varing in contnet/cutness and more serius topics, content/trigger warnings are given are provided with the links as well as before the story starts.

The paced breathing that I have Raphael doing is scientifically proven to actually help lower your heart rate and calm you down, I use it a lot.

Please enjoy!

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The final bell rang and I bolted for the door, school was rough today I had to give a presentation this afternoon and I was mentally exhausted and I just needed to get away from everyone. Well, there was one person I’d be fine being with, but I just can’t be around everyone I needed to get home, where I could hide in my room. Unfortunately, It was the middle of winter so I had to stop by my locker to get my jacket. I was putting it on when I heard John call my name.

I turned around to see him holding up my backpack that I must have left in my rush to leave. Then I noticed that he had something in his other hand. My poetry journal... I hope he didn't read it, no one knows that I write poetry it’s embarrassing, I know that he wouldn’t judge me for that, but a lot of them were love poems about him. I started hyperventilating, Calm down Raph, take a breath. I dropped my head against my locker that I had just closed, and started doing my breathing exercises: in, 2, 3, 4, hold, 2, 3, 4, out, 2, 3, 4.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him approach he looked nervous; that was odd, John is never nervous, “I’m so sorry Raphael! It fell out of your bag when I picked it up! And opened I didn’t mean to read it I didn’t know how personal it was! Please forgive me! I am not worthy of your feelings towards me! You poetry master."

Feelings towards me, maybe he means our friendship, of course, he doesn’t mean our friendship! He must have read one of my love poems, but he’s still talking to me, he’s just being nice he’s always nice that what makes him so wonderful! But I had to see just how bad it was. “whi-which one di-did you re-read” I managed to mutter, and look at him, he had an amazing body, you don't make the varsity football team with a body like mine. He opened the book showing me this poem. My fears were confirmed.

You are perfection.

~

Your hair,

Your smile,

Those big blue eyes.

~

Eyes that,

I could stare at all day.

Eyes that,

I could get lost in.

Eyes that,

I want to stare at

All day.

Eyes that,

I could get lost in.

Eyes that,

I want to get lost in

But I can't.

~

Your arms.

So strong,

So powerfull,

Yet they must be

So tender,

Because,

they belong to you.

~

I wish,

That I could be held,

Wrapped in those powerful arms.

How warm and cozy,

That would feel,

~

How safe and secure,

I would be,

Wrapped in those powerful arms.

~

Being held in those arms,

And looking up into,

Those bright blue orbs

~

I can only imagine,

imagine how great that would feel.

~

But it is not meant to be.

For my secret,

I could never tell.

~

For

I would not want.

To risk losing you,

As a friend.

~

For if I told you.

You would not want

To be around me

~

It would be awkward,

for it would be weird.

~

And you would drift away.

Away from me.

~

And I would be left alone.

Alone with my thoughts.

My thoughts of you,

My thoughts of me,

Thoughts that merge,

In my hopes and dreams

A reality that I cave,

One that will not come to be.

~

You and me,

John and Raphael.

Together

Forever

~

Only in dreams,

Could this be true.

As I looked at it my face must have started glowing with how much I was blushing. I was absolutely mortified, that one actually said his name as well as my feelings for him. I even surrounded his name in hearts like a grade school girl! I wished that the floor would open up and swallow me whole... My life is ruined my best friend hates me now and is just pretending to be nice to me because that’s who he is always nice to everyone, but it wouldn't last... After what felt like an eternity of spiraling thoughts, he spoke, “would you like me to hold you?” he asked with such an adorably timid voice.

“Wh-what...” I didn’t believe my ears. I thought that he would never want to hold me, that he would hate me after reading this! Now he’s asking to hold me?! I must have heard wrong this can’t be happening, I must be dreaming!

He let out a small nervous chuckle. “Like in the poem, I want to hold you, and look into your eyes...”

I looked up at him, his smile was sincere, and his arms were open. My eyes grew wide, could this be real? Slowly I walked up to him, and he drew his arms around me, I looked up to see his perfect smile and breathtaking blue eyes, I was always too nervous to look into them for long, but I soon lost myself in this heavenly situation. For the first time that day, my lips formed a genuine smile as I wrapped my arms around his wide torso as he pulled me in closer. When my arms hands met behind his wide frame, I pinched myself, and it hurt! This isn't a dream! Knowing that this was real I let myself melt in his arms and get lost in his eyes. This must be what heaven feels like. For once, I didn’t care what everyone else thought, as they went to their lockers.

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If you like this story? Or the poem, I have others in the collection, and other poems as well. I also have and several different series that I am working on. I keep a google doc housing summaries of each story and all of the installations that I've posted in an easy to navigate google doc: Click Here

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~~Ben Ray