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How to find your purpose?

By Ben ShelleyPublished 2 months ago 5 min read
Photo by Mark Fletcher-Brown on Unsplash

Imagine if our purpose was defined before we were born by a higher entity and then never told to us. It is never known how far we have come or how far we could have come, as that would not be beneficial.

Whilst that is basically the plot for the Divergent series of books, it is not exactly the same as the purpose is never offered to the human being. What I am essentially working towards is how we define our purpose and who we are. Are we on the right track in life or was our purpose contained in one of the adjacent lines that we never managed to get on?

I have no idea but what I do know is that even from my limited achievement (compared to the high achievers and earners in life) I feel as though I have gone further than what I considered possible at school. I thought that I was limited to seeing only a small part of the world and whilst this is still true percentage-wise, I can now say that I have visited nearly 50% of Europe and nearly 25 countries in the world.

My life exists in London, where I have managed to get myself a job in the centre of the city. I earn more than I thought possible and successfully married my wife nearly two years ago, none of which I ever thought possible growing up. I always considered that I would end up dying a virgin alongside my twenty cats who kept me company in retirement.

I want to start a family, move further up the ladder and purchase a home but there is time for these additions to my life and they will be bonuses, as I feel as though I have already achieved so much. It may not seem so to many but for me and where I came from, I have achieved so much for which I am proud.

There are of course many things that I am not proud of such as getting into debt and not being as sensible with money as I should have but all of these considerations cannot and should not take away from what I have ticked off. I am able to look back with pride, which is something that not all of us can do, knowing that my Grandparents are proud of me.

My Grandparents were my biggest cheerleaders in life and I learned so much from them. They were there for me whenever I needed support and whilst I do love my Mum and have much to be grateful for in terms of what she has provided, my Grandparents were the ones that I learned most from.

Whilst they were never the wealthiest of people, they enjoyed life in their own way. From going on holiday together to the simple joy of the weekly shop and lunch at Sainsbury's (something that I loved to join in on also). What I learned from them was simplicity and in particular, enjoying the small things such as playing games.

Playing games and spending hours simply chatting and laughing over the latest board game is something that has helped me to meet my wife as she loves to play games. Her family Christmases are clear evidence of this and whilst I can play Scrabble with my Mum, she is nowhere near as competitive and never gravitated towards playing games as my Grandad did.

My Mum was never a huge sports fan either and I spent most of my sport-oving days with my Grandad. Growing up I loved Manchester United whilst he was a huge Arsenal fan. It was something that has taken me through life, the simple love of a sport that has provided me with a hobby and helped me break the ice with many people.

My wife does not feel the way when it comes to football but she does dabble where my Mum would be bored silly. All of this is by no means a critique of my Mum as that feels unfair and yet I cannot do anything but comment in this manner as much of my purpose was defined by 90s science fiction such as Stargate and through my Grandparents.

Was this the original 'ordained' plan or did the cards merely fall down in this way? Maybe it was and I still count myself lucky that I have had family that I love to miss. The family that provided so much to my life and the family that I still have and can speak to. So many others simply do not have this connection and therefore I have to count my blessings in life and feel lucky for what I have.

Maybe my life would have turned out very differently if I had been provided with a different purpose early on. Who knows in many ways this entry is incredibly pointless as I will never know if I am living the life that I was meant to live, or if there was another one planned, as I am happy and that is what is important.

The core purpose of any human being is subjective and one person's purpose is another's nightmare and this should always be acknowledged in the consideration that we should never judge and are all driven by different thoughts. What makes us all human is the connections that we hold close to and wish to never lose.

Our purpose is more or less what we want it to be. Whether that is to become a world champion wrestler, to be the greatest Marketing professional in history or simply to raise a happy, healthy family. Who knows?

I have no idea if there was something else planned for me but I do know that I am happy with the purpose that I currently have as it helps me get through the day with a smile on my face and how many people can say that?


About the Creator

Ben Shelley

Someone who has no idea about where their place is in this world, yet for the love of content, must continue writing.

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  • Alex H Mittelman 2 months ago

    Great work! Wonderful!

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