Punished for Vulnerability

Being vulnerable is great! Share your story to others and they can relate or.try to understand. Work on yourself and how to reveal things in the moment. This can be more difficult if you grew up in an environment where there was punishment for Vulnerability. Sharing your needs was ignored and someone else was paid attention to more or being punished for letting people know your inner workings.

I am vulnerable with people and of course have those who look more into who I am and use it. I grew up frustrated about how my cousin had it easier making and keeping friends. People attracted to her constantly and she had around 8 bridesmaids at her wedding. I opened up to her about it recently and she retaliated by saying she had a hard time keeping friends. I pointed out how it was strange because I watched her have and keep plenty of friends, so it didn't add up. Maybe in terms of the type of relationship developed. Looking for intense conversations is different than brunches and gossip.

I am usually pretty open about what is happening with me and that can lead to problems with people who would like to take advantage. People more popular than me stealing the story I tell about how I came to develop PTSD and then thinking it sounds wonderful, so they take it and display like it happened to them, or have vague tellings of toxicity without being able to fully share what it is.

I am open with people about what happened at why i had to have my name changed to not be associated with people who mean me harm. This creates their retaliations because they do not want to be spoken of in a specific manner or be seen as people who make troubles with family members.

I can't help any of that, especially if people see me and my spouse never show up in any of their pictures anymore there has to be a reason why. They definitely told their side of the story to people because anyone who believed them stalked me, stared at me weird, and mocked me. I've had people pull my hair and step on the backs of my shoes out of retaliation from not associating with the old last name any longer.

Yet me just mentioning a bit of details to someone is a complete shit show? All because they don't either want to see how things are or they want to keep up a narrative shattering at its seams. Either way, it stinks when showing your full self comes with punishments and personality taking. It is sad having to deal with that and knowing that is why many people are not so into sharing.

I am not the most talkative person, but I at least let people all know my core self and decide if they like it or not. I don't fit in with the normal popular crowd, which for me is fine. I would rather be who I really am then push myself into a spot people are getting pushed from the cliff by every day.

It is sad many people have ruined being seen, but of course it is because the choices some people make behind closed doors are not choices to be seen out forward. Making choices that don't have to be secrets is the best for the type of live I am living. I can let people know I make mistakes and live how I can. Many people trying to take a story or hide don't want to live in this manner. It is the best manner to be!