Pride and Audacity — Part 5

Victoria wedged her phone between her chin and shoulder and answered Jessica’s question.

“I still have several small things to tie up before the Ball on Saturday. If Mrs. Worthington gets the completed volunteer list to me by Thursday, I think any major disaster can be avoided.”

She switched her phone to her left hand and applied the last touch to her make-up using her free hand. She’d not been sure about the plum lip-gloss when the cosmetic assistant added the item to her purchase that afternoon. Now she was glad she’d kept the girl’s selection. The glossy hue lent just the right amount of tinted shine to her lips.

She scanned her disorderly bedroom for her missing shoe. If clutter were the latest fad in an interior arrangement, she would have a designer’s dream. How she could keep everything in her public life pigeonholed and nothing in her private sanctum in order was a mystery.

“Victoria, are you listening to me?” Jessica asked.

“I’m sorry, Jessica, what were you saying?”

“I asked if you wanted to have dinner with me tonight. I met two adorable guys this week, and I’m taking them to dinner.”

“Both of them?”

“Sure, why not? Come on, Victoria. I guarantee you’ll have fun. Steven is a stockbroker and Randy is with the IRS. You have something in common with both of them, money.”

“Thanks anyway, but I already have plans for this evening. Why don’t you and I do lunch tomorrow?”

“I don’t know how you can pass up this opportunity, but sure, let’s do lunch. How about we try the new French restaurant, Desiree’s? It’s just a few blocks from your office. You know which one I mean?”

“Yes, sounds great. How does eleven-thirty sound? Maybe we can avoid the heavy lunch crowd and long wait.” Victoria switched ears again and with her phone and tossed her discarded robe across the end of the bed.

“Perfect. See you tomorrow,” replied Jessica.

“Wait, don’t hang up,” Victoria stood still in the middle of the room. “I wanted to ask you about my costume; it hasn’t arrived from Madam Soladar’s yet. Did you give them a specific delivery time?”

Victoria rolled her eyes as she listened to Jessica’s probable reasons for why her costume was taking so long to be delivered.

“I’m not really worried, I just wanted time to try it on and make an exchange if the fit isn’t right for me. What did you choose?”

“Believe me,” said Jessica. “I made the best choice possible. Don’t you trust me?”

“Of course I do. I just don’t like surprises…”

“Sorry, I’ve got to run. I’ll see you at lunch tomorrow. Bye now.”

“Wait…Jessica…Jessica?”

Victoria let out a long sigh. Sometimes her friend could be very exasperating. She knew without a doubt Jessica was a disaster looking for an opportunity. The knot in her stomach hinted toward the possibility she and her costume might be the next episode. Pressed for time, she decided to pin Jessica down tomorrow and settle the costume issue then.

Despite her overzealous personality, Jessica was a genuine friend. Until meeting the children, her friendship was the only personal attachment Victoria had allowed herself. She knew they made an odd pairing, a Wall Street financial executive, and one of New York’s firefighters. Somehow, though, they seemed to fit.

How they met was a typical result of what she tolerantly termed, a Jessica maneuver. Jessica had managed to talk Miss Temple into giving her an appointment under the guise of needing some commercial acquisition assistance. As things turned out, the assistance was in the shape of a very large contribution to a charity known as Sisters for Sisters. Jessica’s passionate advocacy convinced Victoria to support the program for troubled girls. Before the ink had dried on her donation check, she’d also found herself commandeered to supervise two fundraisers and one picnic. Jessica was one of those people to whom you could not say no. The kind, if you were fortunate, you called a friend.

Smiling at her musings, she slipped diamond studs into her ears and studied her reflection in the expanse of mirrors covering her closet doors. The yellow sheath dress gave her a casual and cheerful image she wanted. More feminine than her usual business attire and more suited to the event of the evening.

Soft, shiny hair hung in loose curls past her shoulders. The problem of keeping the soft tendrils out of her face was solved with ivory and gold hair combs. How tenaciously she clung to this one secret vanity. The long silken strands reminded her of her mother whose straight platinum hair had hung nearly to her waist. Odd, how that one thing stood out in her memory so clearly.

Tossing her head, she watched her curls bounce and then settle onto her shoulders. She loved the hair which at times could also be a curse. When left unrestrained, it became a catalyst attracting too much attention. Her male peers equated long, golden hair with dumb, helpless females. To alleviate the problem, her stylist obscured its length in intricate braids. Tonight was different, special. She chose the unfettered style because of Aaron. He loved to wrap the curls around his fingers. She would not disappoint him.

Draping her creamy chenille shawl over her arm, she stepped out of her apartment. The click of her key in the door lock synchronized with the sound of the arriving elevator.

“Victoria?”

Startled by the voice behind her, she jumped and spiraled. “Father, you scared me! What are you doing here?”

Her father lifted his hand toward her. “You look absolutely angelic…and so much like your mother. I have not seen your hair this way for years. You should leave it loose more often.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Father. I would never get any work done with hair constantly in my face. What prompted this visit? You never come over unannounced.”

Even though he leisurely scrutinized her as a painter might study his subject, memorizing every shadow, angle, and texture, his furrowed brow forecasted some pressing urgency. Appearing to be lost in his private thoughts, he didn’t answer her at once. His eyes were clouded with an emotion Victoria couldn’t interpret and his shoulders slumped downward.

Her father always radiated a vibrant, driving energy other men envied. But tonight his skin looked sallow, his eyes drained. His weariness reminded her of the afternoon he’d hurried her through the signing of those obscure documents. Two weeks had passed since then. She’d intended to pin him down for an explanation of his odd request and his apparent ill-health. A convenient time never presented itself. Nevertheless, looking at him now…she knew she should have made the effort.

He stepped toward her, closing the distance between them. “My timing has been inconvenient lately. I apologize.” He looked down at his feet, his voice trailing a little. “I just dropped by to talk with you, nothing serious, just talk.”

Victoria pondered the pensive tone. He sounded regretful. Why? Surely, there was more to this visit than he was explaining. “You’ve been acting odd lately. Is everything okay at the office?”

He lifted his head and gave her a reassuring smile. “Yes, everything is fine. I thought perhaps we might spend some time together. It’s been a long while since we’ve done that. I was hoping…”

Before she could anticipate his next action, he clasped his large hands around her shoulders and pulled her tightly to his chest. She froze. The last time she’d been hugged by her father, she’d been a grieving twelve-year-old. She remembered how warm his chest had been against her tear-dampened cheeks and how she’d wanted him to hold her tighter. But her father was not a demonstrative man, and he had released her long before his warmth had reached her heart. This embrace ended just as quickly. Only this time, a trickle of warmth did reach her heart. An unfulfilled longing slipped in also, whether hers or her father’s she didn’t know.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said, as he stepped away from her. Taking three dragging steps toward the elevator, he stopped and turned back, an obscure emotion sculpting his face with worry lines. “Victoria, you do know I love you, don’t you? Whatever happens…please remember how important your happiness is to me.”

This time he didn’t turn back but stepped into the elevator and dropped out of sight as suddenly as he had appeared. She shook with icy shivers as if she’d just sunk into the wet, forty-degree cold plunge at her health club. Shock held her in place. Gripped, she watched the descending numbers light up over the elevator.

Every aspect of her life was careening into maniacal twists designed to drive her crazy. What was she supposed to do with a father who suddenly seemed vulnerable and unsure of himself? Nothing was making sense anymore. There was not enough time to go after him. The children were waiting for her. Tomorrow…tomorrow she’d get to the bottom of this.

She gathered the fractured pieces of her composure and made her way out of the building, walking toward the company limousine and the waiting chauffeur. “Good evening, Thomas.”

“Good evening, Miss Ballard. The flowers you requested are on the back seat. And, may I say, you are looking very lovely this evening.”

“Thank you.” She slipped through the door Thomas held open for her and slid into place across the gray leather seat. Two large bouquets of pink and yellow roses filled the interior with a welcoming fragrance, soothing her confused emotions and redirecting her thoughts. She was glad she’d decided to use the limousine. The princess car, Talli’s name for the sleek white limousine, would add to the night’s ambiance and the children’s enjoyment.

With five minutes to spare, she hurried through the archway into Applewood’s courtyard. Aaron saw her first and charged toward her. With chipmunk cheeks, twinkling black eyes, and soft baby-brown hair, he was everything a two-year-old boy should be. Those endearing features camouflaged his mischievous personality. The latter was evident in the gleeful sparkle in his eyes.

From experience, she knew he intended to launch himself toward her at a full run. She braced her feet on the solid pathway and caught him just before he collided with her. Swinging him around, she laughed as he pleaded, “Again, again”. She assured him they would play again later and set him on his feet.

His sister, Emily, hugged him from behind. She was nine years older than Aaron and, thankfully, child welfare had not separated them. Aaron was a perfect candidate for adoption. Emily, however, was another matter. The accident claiming the lives of their parents had left Aaron, a two-month-old baby, unharmed. Though Emily had not sustained serious physical injuries, she still carried scars. Since the accident, she’d not spoken one word aloud.

The experts concluded the muteness was psychological in nature. Their consensus being, with a little time, the problem would take care of itself. Two years had passed since then. Wanting Emily to chatter and giggle as other girls her age, Victoria searched for something the little girl could get excited over.

By chance, a few months earlier, she found the very thing she’d been searching for. She’d been looking for Aaron and found both him and his sister alone on the large portico of Applewood’s south wing. Aaron was sitting in a large urn planter not yet filled with potting soil or flowers. Emily was amusing him by dancing to music she composed in her head. She choreographed as she went and her natural talent was obvious.

The next day Victoria checked out several dance studios and enrolled Emily in Montclair’s School of Dance. Tonight was her first recital and everyone was excited. Two little hands tugged on her dress and she reached down and picked Aaron up, settling him on her hip. A wet, smushy sensation on her cheek was his version of a kiss and a signal for her undivided attention. She swung her head so her hair fell in cascades over his face. He giggled and pleaded for more.

Breeze and Talli hurried through the courtyard toward her. “Are we going to be late, Victoria?” Breeze asked, nudging Talli who had stopped to pick a rose.

Talli lingered long enough to secure a small bud which she presented to Victoria with a grand bow. "Did you bring the Princess Car?"

Victoria hugged them both and answered their questions. They looked pretty in their lavender dresses. Talli didn't like dresses because of her braces, but she looked very pleased with the ankle-length skirt Victoria selected for her. The girls twirled in unison so Victoria could admire them.

"You are the most beautiful princess in the whole world," she said.

"We can't be princesses, 'cause we don't live in a castle." Talli paused, her furrowed brow indicating her contemplation of the requirements of princess-status. "And we don't have a prince and a magic wand."

"You're my princesses," Victoria assured her.

"What about Aaron and Emily?" Talli questioned.

"They're my little prince and princess as well. Now hurry. We don't want to be late for our very special night."

Talli's eyes grew large with anticipation as Breeze leaned over and whispered to Victoria. "I wish we could always be together like this."

Victoria wrapped an arm around her little caregiver's shoulders and whispered in her ear. "I have a surprise for you later."

Breeze's lips didn't curve into a smile, but one lurked in her glistening eyes. Because of its rarity, the mere hint of a smile sparked goosebumps along Victoria's arms. Tonight was going to be a turning point in all their lives.

Twenty minutes later, everyone was helping Emily with her makeup, everyone except Aaron. He was more interested in eating the shiny stick of cherry-flavored lip-gloss. After a million hugs of encouragement, they left Emily behind the stage with her troupe of dancers. Victoria, using her best commando tactics, managed to find three seats near the front of the auditorium.

The large hall buzzed with the chatter of nervous parents, adoring grandparents, and supporting friends. The curtain rose and a group of three-year-olds dressed as buttercups grabbed Aaron's attention. He followed the movements of their tiny uncoordinated feet as each one shuffled through a tap routine.

Victoria glanced around at her surroundings. This was certainly unknown territory for her. Was she insane? The thought ricocheted around her head for a moment as she watched the buttercups blow kisses to the audience as they left the stage. Did she really belong here?

Thunderous applause rescued Victoria from her self-doubt. Then, Emily and her group took their positions. Emily was adorable in a white silk blouse, black satin shorts, top hat, and tap shoes. A red sash and black cane added pizzazz. Poised at center stage, she was flanked by ten other girls of similar age. As the music started, the eleven dancers began to interpret its rhythm. All the girls did well, but there was no doubt the real talent belonged to the lead dancer. Emily executed her routine without hesitation or uncertainty. An ability far beyond her age energized the performance.

When the dance ended, silence held the audience captive. Then, as one soul, they broke into deafening applause. Victoria had never experienced as much pride and accomplishment as she did now in this child's joy. The elation was contagious. Breeze clapped jubilantly, Talli cheered, and Aaron jumped up and down.

Negotiating the crowd to rendezvous with Emily outside took several minutes. As usual, everyone seemed to prefer conversing in the doorways and blocking the exits. Finally, with her three charges in tow, she spotted Emily. Three other dancers and their parents surrounded the starlet, hugging and congratulating her. Aaron began shouting his version of her name, "Meme, Meme!"

Emily waved goodbye to her friends and detached herself from the group. As she made her way toward them, her bottom lip began to quiver, and her long mascara-darkened lashes fluttered in confusion. Victoria swallowed dryly, trying to mask her concern as Emily's eyes changed from orbs of beaming joy to swirling pools of pain. Her short gasping breaths tore at Victoria's heart. She was helpless to prevent what had been too long in coming. This precious child was drowning in emotion she could no longer disallow. Whatever had fractured the barrier was unimportant. Emily was at the mercy of her repressed grief, a relentless force defying containment in its fury to be free.

Setting Aaron on his feet, Victoria hurried to wrap her arms around Emily, holding her as tightly as she dared. The first racking sobs shook the child's slender body. People stared but kept a polite distance. At last, she quieted, and then backed away from Victoria's embrace, rubbing the moisture from her cheeks.

Victoria watched another transformation as Emily's pale and trembling lips widened into a serene smile full of hope and acceptance.

"I...danced. I danced for my parents. Do you think they would have been proud of me?" she asked in a whisper.

"Oh, yes, the proudest parents ever. Always celebrate your memory of them with joy and happiness, Emily. It's the best way to keep them close in your heart." Victoria rubbed the tears from Emily's face with her fingers.

What followed next was pandemonium. Emily strung out sentences as if there had never been two years of silence. She and the other two girls twirled, immersing themselves in innocent magic the way only children can do.

Victoria stepped a few feet away to sit on a concrete bench. Aaron, pausing twice to look back toward his sister, strolled toward Victoria. Crawling onto her lap, he burrowed his little head snugly against her chest. Sucking his thumb, he cast furtive glances at the girls. His world had somersaulted. His only constant, Emily, had changed completely. Only time could teach him this was not hurtful.

She ached for his troubled little heart. As it turned out, huggies, kissies, and tickles from Emily were the perfect medicine for his insecurities. The next part of the evening passed in a blur of fun. The children stuffed themselves with suicide sundaes at their favorite creamery and played in the Cavern, made up of every conceivable type of tunnel a child could imagine.

Midnight was approaching when she ushered everyone into Applewood's playground to sit under the apple tree. The inky night sky twinkled with dazzling points of light, casting their glow over the ethereal peacefulness filling the courtyard. Four silent children gazed at her with expectant faces. They had never sat in the playground at midnight before. Their little bodies twitched with overwhelming excitement.

When she snapped the latch on her purse, they yelped and giggled with nervous anticipation. Taking out four pieces of paper, she gave one to each of them. Aaron lost no time shredding his. The girls, squeezing theirs between trembling fingers, never took their eyes off her.

"When I was a little girl," Victoria began, "my mother died in a car accident. My father was a busy man, so I didn't see him often. I was sad and lonely. Since then, there has never been someone special in my life, someone of my very own."

Talli broke in, her face puckered and confused. "But we're special for you, you said so."

"You're right," Victoria assured her. "But let me finish my story, okay?"

Talli acquiesced with a cautious nod.

"One day I came to Applewood on business. Then a miracle happened. There was a little girl sitting under this apple tree. She held two ladybugs in her hand and she was talking to them."

"That was me!" Talli emphasized, shaking her sister's arm. Breeze shushed Talli and urged Victoria to continue her story.

"Yes, it was. And shortly after, I met Breeze, Emily, and little Aaron."

"What was the miracle?" Breeze asked, opening her hands in a questioning gesture.

"For the first time, I realized I was missing something in my life. I wanted to belong to someone and to have them belong to me."

"Do you want us to belong to you?" Breeze leaned closer to Victoria, her face serious and guarded.

"Yes, I do. What you have in your hands are adoption papers. I very much want all of you to adopt me. I want us to be a family." Victoria watched two different expressions dart across the girls' faces, first confusion, and then hope.

In the next instant, three girls were in her lap saying, "We do. We do."

This was the completeness she'd always longed for. She would never need more than what she held at this moment. Life was very, very good.

To be continued…

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